Members d03nut Posted March 11, 2007 Members Posted March 11, 2007 Yeah, he liked my friends. They were an attractive bunch. But they were just an excuse. It was me he would pass by to see. Pretty soon, it became obvious to everyone else too. He had fallen for me. Bad. The first few months flew by. Things couldn't have been better. He was such a great "listener". And so caring. So very caring. Gotta admit, I'm "high maintenance". So we were a perfect match. I remember this one time when I was feeling a little "under the weather". He went "nuts" trying to make me feel better. Frankly, I found that a little weird. But in the end, he took good care of me and that's all that mattered. Too bad it didn't last. It began with him slowly losing his appetite. He was often visibly nervous and "on the edge". I could tell that something was nagging at him. I even noticed his taste in music was changing. And he spend all his waking hours behind that damn computer. He'd say that he was "chatting with fellow forumites", whatever that meant. He could have been searching for porn for all I know. I had caught his eyes "wandering" on a couple of occassions. Yeah, something was definitely not right with us. So the other night, he had his doctor friend over. They go back a long time, played in the same band in highschool dreaming the rock'n roll dream. Well, once told of the symptoms, the doctor nodded knowingly. He had seen them before especially among musicians. His diagnosis: my man was suffering from "GAS". That SOB. After all these years together, how could he want another? If only guitars could talk
Members JasmineTea Posted March 11, 2007 Members Posted March 11, 2007 Could you imagine being heckled by your guitar while playing?Yeah. "Jeez, can't you do anything right? Man, clip your nails will ya? yer {censored}in' up my fretboard!!"
Members Cripes Posted March 11, 2007 Members Posted March 11, 2007 And, for cryin' out loud wash after you wipe...
Members FallingRock71 Posted March 12, 2007 Members Posted March 12, 2007 Get that mirror out of my hole!
Members Cripes Posted March 12, 2007 Members Posted March 12, 2007 So, now that you have owned up to it, what's the plan?
Members d03nut Posted March 12, 2007 Author Members Posted March 12, 2007 So, now that you have owned up to it, what's the plan? Maybe "alternative medicine" can help me?
Members 2ifbyC Posted March 12, 2007 Members Posted March 12, 2007 Could you imagine being heckled by your guitar while playing? "You call that a G7 chord? You are worthless and weak!" Bull Shiitte! Good dogs and guitars are soooo simular! They both: could care less about the sounds you produce as long as you're making 'em. have total devotation to you at all times, even when ignored. have no concept of your time away. are always awaiting your caress, not 'beatings'. could care less if you're an asshat or saint. will do what you desire given enough attention, training and consistant discipline. will accomplish amazing tricks with that same attention, training and discipline. will look as good as the care and feeding you give 'em. require periodical 'medical' attention. hate being confined to their rest areas. don't care if the toilet seat is up or down. have no concept of staying off the couch next to ya! Having said all that, only you have to live with what you have nutured. Dog pizzes on the carpet or your git howls and growls? They could care less! Now I'm working on my guitar! P.S. Hey, at least thats what my bride of 38 years did to me! .
Members Charlies Ghost Posted March 12, 2007 Members Posted March 12, 2007 What did you just say.You want a bigger bottom end.More shimmer in the top end.Oh no you didn't.I thought you wanted well balanced.You said you wanted well balanced.WELL I'M FRIGGIN WELL BALANCED.What is wrong with you.I bet it's those new friends of yours.They put you up to this.Giving you those crazy ideas.I knew it was going to happen,i just new it.Ok.ok.I'll calm down. Yeah,well you just didn't do it for me either.You know i always liked it better when your friend came over and he brushed up against my strings.Don't give me that.I saw your looks when you found out he knew how to make me sing.No,no.I wasn't because of his big pick,your thin one is just fine.It was more....i don't know...just something.I know you played the same songs.He just added a little more heart when he did it.Oh,now now,don't get upset.What's that,you were waiting for me to open up.Ha Ha Ha,thats classic.That was going to make you sound better.Your friend opened me up just fine.Ok,ok.Its my fault. Well i guess your moving on to something better and more refined.What your going after one of those cheap asian hussies.I can't believe you'd do that.You know some of them have to sell their kids into slavery to get over hear.It's true.No,No.Now your being silly.Didn't you always want to grow up and live the lavish life of an american factory worker.Really,thats surprising.Oh wait,you slobbered some chicken down onto your cheap tea shirt.Na,don't clean it up just get you a another one,there cheap.What,your going to wipe it off with that best buy bag.Thats not going to work.I heard if you wet the back of an avocado or orange it takes the stain out lickity split.Hey it's cheap and it works.Why don't you get in the truck and drive down to that new 7-11 two blocks away.What.Nah don't worry about it you can get more gas tommorow.Well anyway,you know some kids are dieing in that factory over there because of your GAS.Ok,ok.I won't try to scare you into making a decision.Yeah,that would be wrong.Sorry. Allright,i'm calm now.I can accept it.You think i'm the wrong choice and i'm limited.I knew going in that this thing we have wasn't a permanent type of thing.Find something that speaks to you.Whatever you chose i'm sure that if you put a little heart into when you play you'll be alright.
Members 2ifbyC Posted March 12, 2007 Members Posted March 12, 2007 Allright,i'm calm now.I can accept it.You think i'm the wrong choice and i'm limited.I knew going in that this thing we have wasn't a permanent type of thing.Find something that speaks to you.Whatever you chose i'm sure that if you put a little heart into when you play you'll be alright. "Why is it that you and your kind do not understand that I and my ilk are reproducers. It's in our genes and jeans. It's within our DNA to be afflicted with GAS due to natural selection. It's not because we don't care for you, it's just that we... Oh, you'll never understand. That's your nature! OK, where's the couch?"
Members Charlies Ghost Posted March 12, 2007 Members Posted March 12, 2007 Your right,i'll never understand. But it makes me feel smart if i pretend i know things. Try the couches behind door number 13.
Members Cripes Posted March 12, 2007 Members Posted March 12, 2007 Maybe "alternative medicine" can help me? Altrnative medicine? For GAS? Wuzzat? Living in the acoustic room at GC? Hey, maybe you can hire on there as the guy who gets all the strings played out and rusty.
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