Members MattSkibaIsGOD Posted January 17, 2008 Members Posted January 17, 2008 http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=491019&songID=6172966 I rewrote most of it and changed up the melody a bit. Let me know what you think. I also used my Walden G570 strung with Martin Silk and Steels and added some background chords with my 12 string. Thanks, -Dave
Members Sparhawk Posted January 17, 2008 Members Posted January 17, 2008 Now that was really one heck of a rewrite! Very well done!
Members Cripes Posted January 17, 2008 Members Posted January 17, 2008 Sounds good to me. I know the task/art/revelation (pick one) of writing songs having been doing just that these last few years. Yours is a great foundation and I hear so much that can be put under it. I still think it's a great basis for building on and also think you should try to "hear" it for yourself. In many cases the guitar track becomes the scratch track once the song is ready for final mix down. I'm not saying your guitar work should be scratched from the mix. It works pretty well. I do hear other instruments coming into the mix. I use an organ, aka synthesizer aka Casio-chord, keyboard that (poorly) emulates other instruments and can also put in loops with adjustable tempos. Sometimes I just use it as a metronome. They're dirt-cheap and yet quite handy. Keep at it but let if flow naturally. That's about the best advice I can give. Good job.
Members MattSkibaIsGOD Posted January 17, 2008 Author Members Posted January 17, 2008 Thank you very much guys. Cripes, during the bridge, I had a suggestion from another forumite that cello or violin might fill it out nicely. I think it might be really cool too, but I don't have any sort of synthesizer stuff. My only fear about adding other instruments is that I would feel like Nick Drake did towards Five Leaves Left. I kind of need the sparsity. Thanks so much for listening.
Members daklander Posted January 17, 2008 Members Posted January 17, 2008 I still like it so you're going in the right direction, IMO.The 12 string was a nice touch but I still hear a fiddle weaving in and out with a mando trailing along in the back.
Members babablowfish Posted January 17, 2008 Members Posted January 17, 2008 Sorry I couldn't respond earlier, I don't get back home form work until late. I like it. Excellent work on the revision. The rhyme scheme does not feel forced at all. I like the instrumental bridge you added. Don't hit me, but I think that if you wrote words for the bridge the song would be perfect. Again, as one song-writer to another - nice work. Please feel free to critique any of my original tunes on the annex - God knows I've gotten lots of criticism from Taxi in their rejection letters and it hasn't killed me yet.
Members MattSkibaIsGOD Posted January 17, 2008 Author Members Posted January 17, 2008 I still like it so you're going in the right direction, IMO. The 12 string was a nice touch but I still hear a fiddle weaving in and out with a mando trailing along in the back. Dak, if you play fiddle or Mandolin, I'll send you the MP3 and you can record whatever you want on it. I think it's a good idea and would add alot of the sound I'm looking for, but unfortunately, I don't play either instrument. Thanks for the kind words guys. I really do appreciate it.
Members daklander Posted January 17, 2008 Members Posted January 17, 2008 .... Dak, if you play fiddle or Mandolin, I'll send you the MP3 and you can record whatever you want on it. I think it's a good idea and would add alot of the sound I'm looking for, but unfortunately, I don't play either instrument. Thanks for the kind words guys. I really do appreciate it. You don't want my mano playing on that tune. There are others here who could do it justice. I only have a few mostly two finger chords under my belt anymore.I own a fiddle but can't play it. I couldn't get the hang of not sounding like a scalded cat so I loaned to my son for a while.
Members MattSkibaIsGOD Posted January 17, 2008 Author Members Posted January 17, 2008 Well, if anyone would like to add some mandolin, I would be much obliged.
Members Stackabones Posted January 17, 2008 Members Posted January 17, 2008 That's a really strong re-write! Way to go! Solid. I liked the tune before, but I like it even more now. Wow. Too cool.
Members MattSkibaIsGOD Posted January 17, 2008 Author Members Posted January 17, 2008 That's a really strong re-write! Way to go! Solid. I liked the tune before, but I like it even more now. Wow. Too cool. Thanks so much Stack.
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