Members Michael Martin Posted January 22, 2008 Members Posted January 22, 2008 Lives in Lansing Michigan, but not for much longer I'm afraid. She's got a few days, maybe a week or two left, and is in a hospice, surrounded by family and friends. Why share that here? Because there's an AG connection, of course! I got the word that things were dire Friday, so I flew there Saturday and came home yesterday. The finest moment of all this past weekend was when I reminded Betsy about a moment she and I shared as teens, long ago. I lived in Georgia, she in Michigan. My family went north that summer to visit the relatives. I was into loud power-blues and psychedelic stuff; Betsy was a folky. Betsy had "Nashville Skyline", and we listened to it over and over, and then tried to figure out some of the songs on her cheapy nylon-stringer. Sunday night at the hospice, which is the last time I will see her, I told her how I can look back now and understand how that summer interlude was one of those transformative events in my life. It changed the way I thought about music. I also confessed my secret crush that I had on her that summer (the fine long straight blond hair down to her waist, the wire-rimmed glasses...oh yeah), which I kept to myself what with us being first cousins and all. She really lit up. And that's another moment in my life I will never forget. And when my time comes, I hope I can be half as strong and gracious as she is in facing the end. I wanted to play her a song I wrote that features her in a verse--but it wasn't the right time and place. So now I'm going to record it and send it to her. Guess I'd better hurry...
Members outdoorgb Posted January 22, 2008 Members Posted January 22, 2008 Thanks for sharing that story. You're a good friend and relative.
Members OldGuitarPlayer Posted January 22, 2008 Members Posted January 22, 2008 Having lost my dad to cancer this past summer my sincere condolences. I took care of him for a year.My dad kept his sense of humour until the very last time I saw him alive...and before I left him that day he was still cracking jokes....that's my dad. All the best! OGP
Members Scott Fonseca Posted January 22, 2008 Members Posted January 22, 2008 You are a great person for doing that!
Members Samilyn Posted January 22, 2008 Members Posted January 22, 2008 Thanks for sharing that with us. It's a very touching story. You are a special kind of person to do what you are doing for her. I read the verse at the bottom of your post. I think she'll love it.
Members rjoxyz Posted January 22, 2008 Members Posted January 22, 2008 You are a good man, with a good heart.
Members C70man Posted January 22, 2008 Members Posted January 22, 2008 It's never too late, but don't procrastinate.I normally don't talk about this kind of thing, but your wonderful story has let it out of my bag. So if you'll indulge me a little... My mom was a professional singer/dancer in the 40's/50's. She had a wonderful voice and it filled our home with music everyday. She sang generally with 3-4-5 piece bands. She performed in NewYork and Chicago mostly, but once did a Bob Hope tour. She even introduced me to one of her more famouse friends, Desi Arnez. Anyway, I never really appreciated her. I was into Elvis, the Beatles, Who, etc. It was years later when I really started to listen to all her old favorites like Toni Bennett, Sinatra, and especially Nat King Cole and Ella. She heard me play my garage band {censored}, but never the stuff she loved. I regret it to this day. I think more of her now than ever, and can only wish she could have heard me getting into "her stuff". It's funny how music works that way. I still love all my folk, rock, and blues, but now I have made lots of room for all the other stuff too. I have other related stories, but I'll spare everyone for now.
Members simplygoodmusic Posted January 22, 2008 Members Posted January 22, 2008 The verse is indeed beautiful. Its a heatwarming gesture. I am sure she'll love it.
Members kwakatak Posted January 22, 2008 Members Posted January 22, 2008 That's wonderful, man! I hope that she gets to hear that song. Why wouldn't you play it for her in person though? If anything, she would be able to show her appreciation for it and who knows, maybe she'd want you to share the song with others in full context. I'm trying to do something similar in memory of my mom's brother, my uncle Raymond who died several years back as a recluse. He and I weren't close, but when I got the whole story of his life from my mom (including IMO why he was a recluse) I felt it needed to be remembered as something other than the way he passed. I won't go into details because I don't want to further hijack the thread.
Members Michael Martin Posted January 23, 2008 Author Members Posted January 23, 2008 That's wonderful, man! I hope that she gets to hear that song. Why wouldn't you play it for her in person though? If anything, she would be able to show her appreciation for it and who knows, maybe she'd want you to share the song with others in full context. I wanted to play it there--main problem was no guitar, although we could've remedied that. But it just wasn't the right thing to do it "live", for a number of reasons--her condition, the quietness of the hospice, etc. But I did get a chance to play music on the trip. Betsy is blessed with many cool neighbors and friends, several of whom play a lot of traditional music together. Sunday evening, after leaving Betsy so she could get some much-needed sleep, we got together and jammed in a living room for about three hours--guitars and a banjo and lots of voices. I borrowed her friend Sally's 1965 Martin 12 string--oh my gawd what a sweet guitar. Not sure of the model--slot head, neck meets body at 12th fret...ultra-sweet. Nicest 12 I've ever played! She had just recently bought that guitar at Elderly Instruments, which I didn't realize was in Lansing. Didn't get a chance to drop in there, although that would've been fun! Don't anybody worry about hijacking this thread. I'd love to hear more "bedside" stories. PS I did play "Another Rainy Day" for the friends. Everybody cried, including me.
Members Steadfastly Posted January 23, 2008 Members Posted January 23, 2008 I've lost so many of my relatives that I couldn't help tearing up some while reading your story. I couldn't have sung a song to her if I was in your shoes because I wouldn't be able to get through it. I could maybe record it and leave it for her to hear. This promise brings me great comfort. I hope it is a help to you. Read Acts 24: verst 15. and Job 14:verses 14, 15. Regards. Thanks for the post.
Members riffmeister Posted January 23, 2008 Members Posted January 23, 2008 Very touching story, brought a tear to my eye. I lived in E. Lansing for four years. God bless you and your cousin Betsy. .
Members AugTPD Posted January 23, 2008 Members Posted January 23, 2008 What a touching story. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family during this time. A few years ago after I moved to Oklahoma to accept my first "real job offer" following college my Grandfather became very sick. He had been in a veterans home for awhile fighting dementia but became much worse shortly after I moved. It was very hard for me being away from my family but I was able to travel back to see him one last time before he passed. He had a bad stroke that put him in the hospital for the final time and wasn't able to speak. Even without any real conversation the short time I was able to spend with him was one of the finest memories I have. I'm so glad for you that you were able to make the trip to see your loved one. Best wishes...
Members darksun Posted January 23, 2008 Members Posted January 23, 2008 this is sad and beautiful, try to concentrate on what you have gained by knowing her rather than the loss when she's gone, i guess samylin's sig say's it all
Members LiveMusic Posted January 23, 2008 Members Posted January 23, 2008 She leaves a legacy... she influenced someone in a positive way. That matters. Consider sending the song TODAY by email to someone who can burn it and take it to her today.
Members babablowfish Posted January 23, 2008 Members Posted January 23, 2008 Our thoughts are with you.
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