Is 29 too old to start from the bottom?.

[aalia_12]

Hello,

 

For about 10 years now I've wanted to start a band of my own and I've worked towards it off and on. I've written hundreds of lyrics and taught myself how to play guitar and bass, but I've also struggled with depression, ADHD, and major self esteem issues my whole life, so I never did anything with any of this. I never fit in with the local music scenes here and still don't. All my friends who played music abandoned it years ago, and people think it's silly for a 29 year old to want to start his own band. I don't even know if people now would be interested in the stuff I want to play.

 

The thing is, this dream just won't die no matter how much I talk myself out of it. It's been a freakin' decade and I STILL can't let it go. When I was younger, I felt too awkward, or untalented, or dorky to do it, ever since I was about 24 (and developed a very noticable bald spot) I now feel increasingly too old to pull it off, too.

 

My lone experiences trying to play music with other people consist of an atrocious audition for a friends' band when they needed a fill in on bass and one terrible jam session I put together with a few friends a couple years' later. I brought over a stack of lyrics and ideas for what to do with them that I'd been working out in my head for years, but everyone just gave me weird looks. The words were nice, they said, but they couldn't feel how they'd go with music. I froze up and forgot how to play anything but a few cowboy chords. It was one of the most awkward and embarrassing experiences of my life. They never would get back together after that.

 

But the dream STILL won't die.

 

I don't want to be in a cover band. I don't want to play a specific style of music that's popular at the moment. I don't see the stuff I've written appealing to the local bar crowds who just want to hear good party music. And I don't want to embarrass myself by being the weird old guy who acts like he's 15 or that pretentious weirdo who tries way too hard to impress and just winds up alienating everyone.

 

I don't plan to make a career of this, but I would like to at least be liked by some people (my wildest dream is to be regarded as one of those semi-obscure geniuses you discover by digging into the music you love). I guess maturity has taught me about the value of persistence and work ethic, but in a world where musicians are expected to represent sort of a youthful ideal and nobody is playing the music I want to play I feel a bit awkward even taking another stab at this. But I just can't let it go, either.

 

Guys, I don't know what to do here. Any advice?

....

[daddymack]

Well, I don't see much here we could help you with...are you adept enough now to translate your music so others will comprehend your intentions?

Maybe you should consider laying some ground work.

Have you tried performing solo at open mic nights?

Have you gone to any songwriters showcases?

Have you tried recording your material, with a drum machine and guitar and vocals? There are tons of programmable devices out there now that will basically stand in for a live band for recording a bare bones song.

Record some basic demos and see how they come out.

Keep in mind that being a songwriter does not mean you have to be a performer (and vice versa).

[Poker99]

 

All my friends who played music abandoned it years ago, and people think it's silly for a 29 year old to want to start his own band.

 

 

People are always GOOD at trying to break your dreams. F*ck them. You only live once. Do it and the hell with them.

 

Record yourself. Then take your best 3 songs, and find a studio to record them. Do you sing? If you can't sing, it will be harder, because you will have to find a singer motivated enough to create a vocal track on your stuff.

 

I guess you have a job, so put some money to hire studio musicians (drummer, bassist) and a technician. Make a pre-prod, then record the songs.

 

You'll make some contacts by doing this, and you'll have a demo. That's a start.

[Inazone]

In this era of streaming and downloadable music, online collaboration and affordable home-recording tools, it's really never too late to start. I started playing in bands as a teenager in the early `90s, when most of today's resources weren't quite available to the masses, and struggled to record even the most basic demo. None of those bands managed to play even a single gig, and all of the guys I played with then abandoned their musical ambitions. Nobody really had the songwriting skills to make it worthwhile, nor was it financially realistic.

 

I decided to "start over" in my early 20s, putting together a band to play the songs I was writing at the time. It took years to get the right lineup in place, and our first experience with a record label was a pretty bittersweet life lesson, but from a creative perspective, I'm very happy with how things are going. Because I'm more interested in the songwriting and recording process than touring, I've been fortunate enough to have a non-musical career, which in turn keeps my musical pursuits pressure- and conflict-free. I enjoy gigging, but writing and recordin can be done (more or less) in the comfort of my own home.

 

There are lots of musical rookies starting out in their 30s and even later, so there's no time like the present.

[Kramerguy]

It really boils down to this:

 

If you have "IT", you have it.

 

If you don't, then you don't.

 

Your success in anything is entirely in your own hands. No amount of persuasion, kudos, motivation, or opinions will change that.

 

I've worked with plenty of people who want to have a career / success in music, yet, they lacked the motivation and\or personal discipline needed to actually make it happen; but still they wonder why it never did..

 

"IT" = combination of discipline, motivation, hard work, talent, development, learning, couth, and humility.

[espec10001]

here's the thing dude. Write the songs in completion, then worry about the details later. Too many people get all starry eyed and dream of fame and fortune and forget the thing they should be focused on: the music.

 

Even if you did hit it big and became a superstar, you'll spark then fizzle out just like everyone before you. I'm not trying to discourage you from pursuing your dreams, but sometimes musicians have to ask themselves what it is they really are seeking.

[3shiftgtr]

The DREAM.....

 

Well, sometimes someone needs to, out of respect for the OP and the heavy-osity of his question, deliver the bad news.

 

{censored} the dream. You wanna make music? Then make it. Can't sing as well as the voice in your head? Then learn how. Can't play that amazing riff in your skull symphony? Then learn how. Music is not an instant thing. It is a thing that takes courage to do properly and with integrity. Why? Cuz it takes stupid amounts of time and dedication just to not suck. Then, once you don't suck, you've got to spend the rest of your life getting good. Stop worrying about your ADHD, and self esteem. Who cares? Everyone has a cross to bear. And don't give another thought to what other twits think, cuz you know what? The sounds in your head will always be changing, and you will always be chasing them. And it ain't got NOTHING to do with what they think.

 

You got a pile of lyrics. And some chords. So what. So do a million other folks that have ideas that they think the world needs to hear. Git ta damn work if you really want folks to hear them. Because THAT's the difference, my friend. Passion and work. You are either on a mission for the world to hear your music, or you are not. Because here's the sad reality.....

 

....sometimes, the dream is enough.

 

You see, for some folks, just HAVING the dream is enough to keep them going. Even though they aren't willing to do the work. So they piddle....and dream. The DREAM of standing on a stage and having everyone look at them. The DREAM of people clapping for their music. The DREAM of acceptance. The DREAM of piles of nekkid chicks and free drugs. The DREAM of being rich. The DREAM of seeing your name in lights. All that crap is ego driven horsehockey, and ain't got a damn thing to do with THE NOTES...the MUSIC. This stupid ass dream becomes an excuse to not live their lives in a normal, human manner. The music biz is strewn with casualties of this mindset. From the locals to Behind The Music...they are everywhere.

 

But if your dream is to make music and express yourself, then go be an artist. Right now...stand up and say out loud "I am an artist." Then, stop thinking of it as a dream, and think of it as a goal with a series of tasks. And git ta damn work. Live, eat, and breathe that stuff. And don't stop until your done. Quit fiddle {censored}ing around with some pie in the sky ideal of what making music is, and come to reality....IT TAKES WORK. So much work, you'll wonder if it is even worth it. But if music is what you want to make, then commence to makin' it, son.

 

Cuz I'm here to tell ya that a life in music is amazingly rewarding. In ways you can't even imagine right now. So {censored} the dream.

 

DIS...missed.

[espec10001]

 

The DREAM..... Well, sometimes someone needs to, out of respect for the OP and the heavy-osity of his question, deliver the bad news. {censored} the dream. You wanna make music? Then make it. Can't sing as well as the voice in your head? Then learn how. Can't play that amazing riff in your skull symphony? Then learn how. Music is not an instant thing. It is a thing that takes courage to do properly and with integrity. Why? Cuz it takes stupid amounts of time and dedication just to not suck. Then, once you don't suck, you've got to spend the rest of your life getting good. Stop worrying about your ADHD, and self esteem. Who cares? Everyone has a cross to bear. And don't give another thought to what other twits think, cuz you know what? The sounds in your head will always be changing, and you will always be chasing them. And it ain't got NOTHING to do with what they think. You got a pile of lyrics. And some chords. So what. So do a million other folks that have ideas that they think the world needs to hear. Git ta damn work if you really want folks to hear them. Because THAT's the difference, my friend. Passion and work. You are either on a mission for the world to hear your music, or you are not. Because here's the sad reality..... ....sometimes, the dream is enough. You see, for some folks, just HAVING the dream is enough to keep them going. Even though they aren't willing to do the work. So they piddle....and dream. The DREAM of standing on a stage and having everyone look at them. The DREAM of people clapping for their music. The DREAM of acceptance. The DREAM of piles of nekkid chicks and free drugs. The DREAM of being rich. The DREAM of seeing your name in lights. All that crap is ego driven horsehockey, and ain't got a damn thing to do with THE NOTES...the MUSIC. This stupid ass dream becomes an excuse to not live their lives in a normal, human manner. The music biz is strewn with casualties of this mindset. From the locals to Behind The Music...they are everywhere. But if your dream is to make music and express yourself, then go be an artist. Right now...stand up and say out loud "I am an artist." Then, stop thinking of it as a dream, and think of it as a goal with a series of tasks. And git ta damn work. Live, eat, and breathe that stuff. And don't stop until your done. Quit fiddle {censored}ing around with some pie in the sky ideal of what making music is, and come to reality....IT TAKES WORK. So much work, you'll wonder if it is even worth it. But if music is what you want to make, then commence to makin' it, son. Cuz I'm here to tell ya that a life in music is amazingly rewarding. In ways you can't even imagine right now. So {censored} the dream. DIS...missed.

 

 

A {censored}ing MEN! The great musicians who you look up to? They spent ENORMOUS amounts of practice to get that way. No one picks up an instrument and plays like a great musician without putting the hours in. But words cannot describe just how powerful a great musician really can be.

 

For example, I don't buy into the whole rockstar dream. To me it's just a fantasy created by a few successful bands in the past. Those times are over. My musical goals are to be great and stop people in their tracks to listen. That is not easy at all to do! It is extremely difficult to get people to stop what they are doing to listen to you, but the effect it has on you and them is nothing short of 'magical'. But, magical gifts do not come without pain and toil and years of dedication.

[Dessalines]

 

Hello, I don't want to be in a cover band. I don't want to play a specific style of music that's popular at the moment. I don't see the stuff I've written appealing to the local bar crowds who just want to hear good party music. And I don't want to embarrass myself by being the weird old guy who acts like he's 15 or that pretentious weirdo who tries way too hard to impress and just winds up alienating everyone. I don't plan to make a career of this, but I would like to at least be liked by some people (my wildest dream is to be regarded as one of those semi-obscure geniuses you discover by digging into the music you love). I guess maturity has taught me about the value of persistence and work ethic, but in a world where musicians are expected to represent sort of a youthful ideal and nobody is playing the music I want to play I feel a bit awkward even taking another stab at this. But I just can't let it go, either. Guys, I don't know what to do here. Any advice? ....

 

 

Based on what is quoted here, your desires seem to be out of synch with your dream. You will achieve nothing, if every sentence seems to start with, "I DON'T WANT TO.... Your dream should be about WHAT YOU WANT TO.....

[Poker99]

The DREAM..... Well, sometimes someone needs to, out of respect for the OP and the heavy-osity of his question, deliver the bad news. {censored} the dream. You wanna make music? Then make it. Can't sing as well as the voice in your head? Then learn how. Can't play that amazing riff in your skull symphony? Then learn how. Music is not an instant thing. It is a thing that takes courage to do properly and with integrity. Why? Cuz it takes stupid amounts of time and dedication just to not suck. Then, once you don't suck, you've got to spend the rest of your life getting good. Stop worrying about your ADHD, and self esteem. Who cares? Everyone has a cross to bear. And don't give another thought to what other twits think, cuz you know what? The sounds in your head will always be changing, and you will always be chasing them. And it ain't got NOTHING to do with what they think. You got a pile of lyrics. And some chords. So what. So do a million other folks that have ideas that they think the world needs to hear. Git ta damn work if you really want folks to hear them. Because THAT's the difference, my friend. Passion and work. You are either on a mission for the world to hear your music, or you are not. Because here's the sad reality..... ....sometimes, the dream is enough. You see, for some folks, just HAVING the dream is enough to keep them going. Even though they aren't willing to do the work. So they piddle....and dream. The DREAM of standing on a stage and having everyone look at them. The DREAM of people clapping for their music. The DREAM of acceptance. The DREAM of piles of nekkid chicks and free drugs. The DREAM of being rich. The DREAM of seeing your name in lights. All that crap is ego driven horsehockey, and ain't got a damn thing to do with THE NOTES...the MUSIC. This stupid ass dream becomes an excuse to not live their lives in a normal, human manner. The music biz is strewn with casualties of this mindset. From the locals to Behind The Music...they are everywhere. But if your dream is to make music and express yourself, then go be an artist. Right now...stand up and say out loud "I am an artist." Then, stop thinking of it as a dream, and think of it as a goal with a series of tasks. And git ta damn work. Live, eat, and breathe that stuff. And don't stop until your done. Quit fiddle {censored}ing around with some pie in the sky ideal of what making music is, and come to reality....IT TAKES WORK. So much work, you'll wonder if it is even worth it. But if music is what you want to make, then commence to makin' it, son. Cuz I'm here to tell ya that a life in music is amazingly rewarding. In ways you can't even imagine right now. So {censored} the dream. DIS...missed.

 

clap clap clap!!! bravoooo

[Scafeets]

Great advice from 3shiftgtr as usual.

I would add the following caveat: If you still have any real depression issues, don't even think of resolving them in public or making a career in music. The amount of rejection, indifference, stupidity, greed and avarice you are about to encountrer will bum out a totally happy person and will kill the weak.

[Temple of Light]

In addition to 3shftgtr's bit, {which is a hard{censored}ingcore solid bit of reality check}, the bottom line for me is dealing with your emotional and or self esteem issues first. No one in the world gives a {censored}ing {censored} and wants to hear more

neurotic/insecure/weaksauce/depression/suicide/negativity driven physcobabble bull{censored} sound masquerading as music, that just inspires more of the same, you have to be able to have hope and courage and determination and love in the sound of your own voice before anyone will really want to listen: deal with the things in your mind and heart and soul which cause you pain, and then get it on with the music. Then and only then, if you really do have something to say, say it. The fact of music is it takes alot of pain to get to a little bit of pleasure from it, but the world will accept the expression of pleasure and joy and success faster and way more widespread than the opposite. Life and music is to be celebrated and the best music ever created is loud testament to the idea that love and self discovery/self expression is more valueable than the darkness of self inflicted pain and evil turned inward...drug abuse, excess, general disregard of the spiritual side of life, etc...

develop your identity to the extent that you don't need the approval and/or the attention of the world at large, and you just might get a little more of it...sage words that I try to live by myself, yes it is a {censored}ing struggle and yes it is alot easier to say than to do...so sack up and get on with it or go away and remain the same: either way you and only you are truly responsible for whatever goes on from here on out.

Time is of the essence, but not the limiting factor of your presence.

Good luck and happy trails...

[Temple of Light]

 

The amount of rejection, indifference, stupidity, greed and avarice you are about to encountrer will bum out a totally happy person and will kill the weak .

 

 

{censored}ing brilliant. Take note.

[Matximus]

Maybe. Could go either way really.

 

The truth is the vast majority of folk who set out to break into music 10 years ago are right where you are right now: Nowhere.

 

Most are probably worse off, serving fries or substitute teaching or whatever. That's just how it is in the music business.

 

So, really, you're not behind most people with artistic ambitions.

If you're clear-eyed enough about the harsh realities of the world and have some talent, go for it bro.

 

With one exception: you need to figure out if you have talent. If you don't have natural musical ability you are going to waste a lot of time and feel like an asshole by trying to make a go at music at this stage in your life. So practice a lot and have someone with experience give you an honest assessment of your ability. And don't be upset by what they tell you.

[Johnny-Boy]

Just do it! Live it! Don't consider the age factor old-timer.

 

If only I were 29 again... Damn young whippersnappers!

 

John

[daddymack]

Just do it! Live it! Don't consider the age factor old-timer. If only I were 29 again... Damn young whippersnappers! John

 

you just had to open that door, didn't you...

 

Heck, if only I was 39 again...

[Johnny-Boy]

you just had to open that door, didn't you... Heck, if only I was 3 9 again...

 

Oh yeah? If only I was 49 again...

[daddymack]

I would even settle for that at this point...but the warranty was definitely expired by that point...

[danosongs]

You should have been doing music this whole time, you should be doing it now, and you should do it literally until the day you die.

 

You want to create music - so do it.

[Matximus]

Listen - what you are really asking is: is it to late for me to do something interesting and different with my life? Can I change the way I'm living?

 

The honest answer is - no one can tell you that, dude. It's important to ask that question. It's a painful question to ponder. But no one can answer it for you.

 

I mean, change the subject and ask the same question: I have a bunch of cavities - is it too late for me to start taking care of my teeth? I've always been interested in medicine... could be I still become a doctor? How about a nurse?

 

Gee, I'd really like to start making music... is it too late?

 

The hallmark card answer is that it's never too late to start living your dreams. Which, as corny as it sounds, is actually true. The harsh reality answer is: Actually, there's a lot of {censored} you're disqualified from doing the older you get. And that's true too.

 

One thing you have to decide is - which answer are you going to choose to believe? I believe that's all it really comes down to.

 

I've asked this kind of question myself many times in my own life. And when I do, I usually phrase it like this: Am I going to be a candyass coward? Or am I going to man-up and take care of business?

 

I find that putting it that way usually helps me get my ass in gear.

[boxorox]

You are an ambitious lad. You may be asking too much. After nearly forty years of hard work, dedication and sacrifice, I am living my dream of being at the absolute bottom of my field. The bottom is not for cowards or weaklings. Or the flatulent and employed. As Jimi Hendrix said, "(Dogs Barking)"

 

Seriously though, I don't really understand the question. What is your goal, your ambition, your concept of success? And what does that have to do with anything? I consider myself a musician, of sorts. I play because I love to play. It's what I do. It's what I'd do if no one ever heard me. It's not about top or bottom, it's about doing.

 

Just do it.

[3shiftgtr]

 

You are an ambitious lad. You may be asking too much. After nearly forty years of hard work, dedication and sacrifice, I am living my dream of being at the absolute bottom of my field.

 

 

box...U da man.

 

Is the bottom really the bottom?

 

 

I play because I love to play. It's what I do. It's what I'd do if no one ever heard me. It's not about top or bottom, it's about doing. Just do it.

 

 

That is the beauty of a life in art...real art isn't about the top or the bottom...it's about the art.

 

Hatdammit...Imma go write something.....

[fatusstratus]

aalia, i'm kind of scared even if your wildest dream does come true you won't like it

 

"my wildest dream is to be regarded as one of those semi-obscure geniuses you discover by digging into the music you love"

 

See the thing about that is they are semi-obscure so a lot of people, even a majority of people, can wind up seeing any of those guys as the weird old guy or the pretentious weirdo you don't want to be seen as.

 

"And I don't want to embarrass myself by being the weird old guy who acts like he's 15 or that pretentious weirdo who tries way too hard to impress and just winds up alienating everyone."

 

 

I'm worried that a lot of what you say you aren't willing to put up with is PART of the trip.

 

I think there's a ton of good advice in this thread.

[tradivoro1]

Look at it this way... Van Gogh didn't start painting till he was 29... He started to paint and the rest is history... 29 is young... Just do it... It may be harder for you, but just do it... Become a solo artist and then make a band around that... But just do it... Sitting around wondering if you should do it won't make you happy... Just do it...

[blue2blue]

OP is a signature line spammer who copied the first post above from a thread last year from this very forum: http://acapella.harmony-central.com/showthread.php?t=2347341

 

 

He has been banned.