Help.

[Anderton]

Just out of curiosity...has Lindsay seen this thread?

[Mr. Donovan]

Tedster, I think if Lindsay moves to California it would be a good idea for her to establish residency so that after a year she can pay the resident tuition rate to go to a state college in California. And college tuition can be really cheap for California residents (even if housing and other expenses are high). Even if she

[aeon]

um...wow.


well-wishes to you Ted,
Ian

[Ani]

Ted,


Check your personal email account that you have registered here with the forum.

[Han]

Ted, sorry I'm late, good thoughts here, real friends.

It has all been said here, you're a great dad, she knows that, trust her.

Ask her to read this thread.

Wishing you and your family wisdom and love.

Peace, Han

[Tedster]

All excellent advice...

In answer to Craig and Han, no, she hasn't seen this thread yet. I do plan to show it to her...just haven't had time.

Thanks for the heads up Ani...I never use that account, and only used it to log on here as it wouldn't take my Yahoo account.

Mr. Donovan...schools in Florida (where I went to college) are like that too.

And thanks so much for your concern!!!

[insidious meme]

Tedster, I think if Lindsay moves to California it would be a good idea for her to establish residency so that after a year she can pay the resident tuition rate to go to a state college in California. And college tuition can be really cheap for California residents (even if housing and other expenses are high). Even if she

[Tedster]

Originally posted by insidious meme Even if she thinks that this is a land of "milk and honey" there will be a big price to pay for it. Hopefully she learns that early.

My point exactly...

[daklander]

Late to the party as usual Ted.

Back in the mid '70s I was was playing in a local bar. The owners had a friend who was quite big in cowboy country and came out on occasion on tour. I was asked if I'd be interested in coming along and that there was a spot for me in the band. Well, I opted to stay put within my comfort. I had a decent day job and a girlfriend, future wife. Though I've had a good life since then with some great kids I often wonder about not taking that chance when I had it.

The point of the foregoing ramble is, just let her go, with the often mentioned support in place.
I also agree that she should have to provide her own transportation to LaLa Land. Nothing wrong with you providing the wheels, but the means must be upon her shoulders.

She will need to know that the all living expenses are higher here than nearly anywhere else and will need to keep that in mind.

Another thing for you to keep in mind is the number of friends you have here that would be available for support, were it needed.

[Ani]

Ted,

I have sent another email with a full explanation... plus a song that I wrote for you and Lindsay.

[Kendrix]

Tedster, I've been away for a long weekend - so im really late to this. One initial reaction is lay low. See if she remains serious or not. Often times these things can wind themselves out before they even get really started.


I am facing similar circumstances with my troubled daughter.
However, in her case its easy to decide to actively work aqainst allowing a dependant and perhaps emotionally abusive relationship to go on with her boyriend.

With your daughter- I must say its a bit more of a dillema.
What we forumites all lack is a really good feel for how "pulled together" this kid is. Without this I think its hard to inject a truly useful opinion.

However, I think Donovan made some really good suggestions.
If she passes the minimum " pulled together" threshold Set some conditions under which you will provide support. If this is really what she wants she should be willing to do some work to enable it. ( such as having some savings). If she makes such an "investment" then perhaps you can let her go with a bit better feeling that: 1) she is really serious and needs to do this and 2) That there is some safety net provided by way of your "conditions of support". With an appropriate safety net the worst case scenarios can be "managed away" to a fair extent.

This could allow you to address some of your concerns while also providing a means to positively support Lindsay.

[Tedster]

Originally posted by Ani Ted, I have sent another email with a full explanation... plus a song that I wrote for you and Lindsay.

Awww...thanks, Ani! I just logged in...I'm going to snooze city here in a minute, will listen in the morning

[fantasticsound]

Well, Ted, I missed this one until now. Looks like a lot of great info and opinions from people you know pretty well from years of yapping on the forums and some personal introductions, too. I guess 24k+ in posts does buy you something.

Anyway, given the previous 3 1/2 pages of posts, I'll leave you with words from the late, great, Conway Twitty;

That's My Job - Conway Twitty I woke up crying late at night when I was very young. I had dreamed my father had passed away and gone. My world revolved around him I couldnt lay there anymore. So I made my way down the mirrored hall and tapped upon his door. And I said "Daddy, I'm so afraid how will I go on with you gone that way? Don't wanna cry anymore so may I stay with you?" And he said "That's my job, that's what I do. Everything I do is because of you, To keep you safe with me. That's my job you see." Later we barely got along this teenage boy and he. Most of the fights it seems were over different dreams, we each held for me. He wanted knowledge and learning. I wanted to fly out west. Said, "I could make it out there if I just had the fare. I got half, will you loan me the rest?" And I said "Daddy, I'm so afraid, there's no guarantee in the plans I've made and if I should fail, who will pay my way back home?" And he said "That's my job that's what I do. Everything I do is because of you to keep you safe with me. That's my job you see." Every person carves his spot and fills the hole with light. And I pray someday I might light as bright as he. Woke up early one bright fall day to spread the tragic news. After all my travel, I settled down within a mile or two. I make my living with words and rhymes and all this tragedy Should go into my head and out instead as bits of poetry. But I say "Daddy, I'm so afraid, how will I go on with you gone this way? How can I come up with a song to say I love you?" That's my job, That's what I do Everything I do is because of you to keep you safe with me. That's my job you see. Everything I do is because of you to keep you safe with me.

[Tedster]

Well, she's leaving Wednesday morning. I'll be in touch with a couple of you.

[fantasticsound]

I don't know what specific help I can be, but feel free to contact me, Ted. PM or email for a phone number if you want.

[Tedster]

Thanks, Neil.

[phaeton]

Same goes for me Ted...

Dunno what help i can be but PM, IM or email for a phone # or callback if necessary.

Wednesday.. wow...

[d. gauss]

well of course she SHOULD move to california. there ain't nothin in kansas city 'cept old weathermen that remind her of her dad!

-d. gauss

[fantasticsound]

Originally posted by d. gauss well of course she SHOULD move to california. there ain't nothin in kansas city 'cept old weathermen that remind her of her dad! -d. gauss

Old weathermen never die, they reign forever! (..he says, hands in front of face in a protective stance, dodging rotten tomatoes. )

[d. gauss]

oh and btw ted,

you HAVE to lie and be supportive of it. if she knows you aren't, then that's when the trouble begins. even if she tanks and is headed for the gutter, she'll keep telling you everything is fine and going great, just to prove she was right.
so get behind it big time!

-d. gauss

[Kendrix]

Originally posted by Tedster Well, she's leaving Wednesday morning. I'll be in touch with a couple of you.

 

 

Whoa i guess this is farther along than I thought.

All I can offer is that it helps to take a long term view of these things.

If the worst thing that happens is that it doenst work out and she re-adjusts her life plans a couple years from now- that aint so terrible. If so, she might be much better off for it in the end.

 

If something clicks and she manges to settle into something worthwhile in LA LA land then good for her. You nevfer know.

[Jeff da Weasel]

Ted, my friend...

Give me a call when you have a moment to chat: 310-937-4292.

I'll be here until about 4:00pm PDT today, and most of the rest of this week.

- Jeff

[Tedster]

THANKS JEFFF!!!

Jeff...tha man. Those stup...er, girls were SO FAWKING OBSESSED with "doing it on their own" they were willing to kill themselves to do it...in other words, moving into a war zone just because it was cheap.

But thanks to them talking to our own illustrious Mr. Klopmeyer...they rethought their position.

[LiveMusic]

Godomighty, I think they have no clue how much stuff costs out there. They probably have no clue how much stuff costs at home! Well, good luck.

I know a girl that headed out for parts unknown with a BABY and $100. But she had some experience, a job resume, etc. She got a job quickly and it all worked out.

[Mr. Donovan]

Make sure the girls establish residency in California by registering to vote as soon as they get there.

The tuition at Community Colleges in California is $18 per credit hour for in-state residents. Which is really cheap.