Way OT: Domestic Violence Situation Next Door To Me

[Mr. Donovan]

I was up late, ordering textbooks online for school in the fall, when I heard a female voice saying

[Perfessor]

We had a guy downstairs in an apartment we used to rent slap his live in girlfriend around. If the guy has used violence on a women he's more than likely going to get into trouble some day either with the law or someone argrier than he is. I'd stay out of it. The guy's a lunatic and she's the loser who keeps lettin' him in.

[335clone]

Stay the hell out of it, unless you want to become a target. If it gets loud and you don't like what you hear, feel free to call the police. Let them deal with it, and keep your nose out of their business.

[flemtone]

From the way it sounds, she didn't let him in - he broke in. Why the police didn't haul his butt off to jail is anyone's guess, unless 1) she decided not to press charges, or 2) the apartment is in his (or both of their) name(s).

 

What can you do? Nothing, except call the law if you think there's violence being committed. Don't offer her advice. That puts you in the mix and will undoubtedly have unpleasant ramifications. If, however, you think he's smacking her around (or, conversely, if she's smacking HIM around), call 911. Domestic violence is truly the 'silent killer'. No one likes to talk about it, most victims will make excuses for it or believe they've brought it upon themselves. Enough calls to 911 will force the police to take a stand or, at least, speak 'with emphasis' to the offending party, even if the victim won't speak up for her/himself.

 

What should SHE do? She should get a restraining order. That way, the police have a reason to haul this asshole off to meet Bubba.

 

Tough situation. Good luck.

-Tim from Jersey

[Tedster]

If anything occurs next door bothers you or disturbs your peace, you have the right to call the police and report it. The asshole isn't just slapping her around, he's exhibiting a disregard for your right to peace and quiet as well.

 

Don't ignore it. Don't confront it directly, but don't ignore it. Unless you have a couple of friends named Rocco "da Jackhammer" and Luigi "da Steamroller".

[Jeff da Weasel]

Ask anyone in law enforcement and they'll tell you: domestic violence is the most common situation that leads to murders, and on average, it's one of the situations most likely for a police officer to become injured in the line of duty.

 

Normally rational people go insane when it's involving a situation with their spouse or significant other. Jealousy, financial situations, or just a relationship that's ending and not being accepted by one of the parties, are the usual instigators.

 

Like you, I'm hesitant to call the cops, preferring to hope that the folks will work stuff out themselves. But the minute I hear it getting physical (stuff breaking, screams for help, or "get away from me" and so on), I'll pick up the phone and get the cops out in a millisecond.

 

Oh, and if kids are involved, I won't even wait that millisecond.

 

- Jeff

[Base]

I can understand you wanting to keep your nose out of it, but if you heard her (or anyone else in your apartment) screaming at someone to get out and could hear signs of the door breaking or any sounds of a struggle with no idea who she was yelling at, would you hesitate to call the police...?

[Mr. Donovan]

Thanks everybody!

 

The maintenance man came up today to fix the wooden panel that the ex-boyfriend broke in through.

 

I talked to my landlord today, he asked me to write a report for him and I did. My landlord told me that one solution might be that she may have to move out.

 

If she

[flemtone]

 

(that would be a 'thumbs-up' if that icon existed on this forum...)