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Funniest thing a Guitar Center Employee has told you?


rock-lobster

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Okay, as long as we're drifting off the subject of guitar stupidity...


When I was in college, my roommate sang for a cover band that played a lot of little dive bars across southern Minnesota. I was in one such bar when the following conversation took place:


Me: "So what are your taps?"

Waitress: "We don't have taps here, ma'am. Just cans."

Me: "Cans??? Okay... I guess I'll just have a Leinenkugel."

Waitress: "Just a minute..."


*she goes off and talks to the bartender, then returns*


Waitress: "I'm sorry, ma'am. We don't carry imports."



(For you non-US readers, in case you had not guessed: Leinenkugel is a relatively popular American-style lager, brewed just over in River Falls, Wisconsin -- about 90 miles from the bar I was at. It's about as exotic and foreign as ordering a LaBatt in Canada, a Crown Lager in Australia, or a Harp in Ireland.)

 

In rural Minnesota, the states of Wisconsin and Iowa are considered foreign, backwards, and somewhat threatening. Fact. (BTW, Iowegians actually eat bullheads! :eek: )

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I haven't had the momentus, "check-out-how-much-I-know-about-guitars-while-I-put-you-in-your-place-you-douche-bag-GC guy" experience as many here appear to have had, but I did have a guy try to charge me extra for a case with my Les Paul. I chalked that up to semi-shady salesman tactics, that I might also find at a car dealer or something as well.

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when I bought my strat last summer I tried to haggle the price, they said it was brand new and had just been put up on the wall. I said I'm pretty sure I saw it there like a year ago.. and they said no, it's brand new.

 

I went home and looked up the serial number, and it had been made over a year ago. it was made in early 2006 and i bought it in summer 2007 :|

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A few years ago I had a Nu Metal trendy looking sales guy at GC tell me how Elixr's even played daily for hours on end will out last any other Competiors 10 packs of strings. And that his Elixr loaded guitar hasnt needed string in over a year.

Right!

 

Yeah I bet his tone was heavenly.

 

Needless to say he was pretty wrong but the {censored} some guys say too make the Sale or Push the Stock is just ridiculous. Lately though the GC guys seem less BS and more transparent which is a nice change.

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Long story


I live between two GC locations but one of them was closed due to a power outage, so I went to the second one and bought a new, but beat-on amp with the agreement that it would be returned to the first store once power was restored for one still in the box.


So I take the amp home and set it up in the living room about 2 feet from where we crate our dog. Earlier in the evening, I gave the dog a bone with lots of meat and fat that was never trimmed and then put her in the crate before going upstairs to bed.


I woke up the next morning to find a 3 foot perimeter around her cage entirely sprayed in {censored}, including the amp. The dog got the {censored}s from the bone with all of the fat and raw meat. She had kicked the {censored} all over the place so she wouldn't lay in it.


I did my best to clean the amp but the front grill caught some of the {censored} spray that had dried and would not clean up but it didn't smell too bad.


So I take the amp back that day for an exchange for a new one and the guy asked me what happened to the amp. I told him that the other store had fixed a leak in the ceiling or roof and the contractors had sprayed some of the textured paint on the grill.


1 1/2 years later, that amp is still at the store.

Please tell me that the Burbs aren't in North Carolina...

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One time I took an amp to GC to see about a trade in (first and last time). It was a 65watt Marshall Valvestate w/ 1 - 12'' speaker. I had upgraded the crappy stock speaker to a Celestion G12T. The sales guy told me that it was worth LESS because it wasn't the original speaker! Like it was some vintage amp that I had devalued by replacing an original part. The Celestion alone was worth more than they offered me for the amp, so I told him he had no idea what he was talking about and left.

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Funniest thing a GC employee ever told me??


"How much are you looking to spend??".



I get pretty tired of that question. I've just started replying with "However much I damn well please, whether it be more or less than what I have in my wallet!" I know the question is just a nicer way of asking "What's the one thing I can show you to get you to spend the most money regardless of what your needs as a player may be?"

Some of the funniest things I've heard are:

"There's absolutely no mark-up on this amp."

"Orignal Floyd Roses are great. Ibanez sure know how to make a bridge."
Me > :confused:

[Refering to a Marshall JCM2000 DSL amp] "Not really Marshall's best choice for a metal man."


I just...I dunno. I'm offended when I hear such retardation in a place like Guitar Center. As I read them, I think to myself "There's no way something so stupid could really be said!" which I would believe had they not been said to me!

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I bought a Line 6 Pocket Pod and brought it home, put the batteries in and it wouldn't power up. ( I didn't plug my guitar in, duh!) So I take it back. The clerk, a very young but polite guys says, huh must be defective and gives me another one. Before handing it over he puts the batteries in and says huh, this one must be bad too. I can't blame him for this since I did the same stupid thing and to his credit he called me at home and apologized saying that he didn't read the manual and you have to plug in a guitar to power it on. I had figured it out by then.

I guess I'm lucky. The younger guys at this guitar center have always been honest and treated me with respect.

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one time a guy told me that all jem's have the same neck even the 7 strings. i just laughed and asked him why they would waist wood like that and he got all flusstered and pissed looking. a few minute's later he got on me for sitting on a amp playing a guitar, so i just handed him the guitar and salked out. :thu:

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I'd like to hear the GC employees stories about noobtastic customers-like the guy that asked for a Gibson with a Fender vibe. hahahaha

 

 

What's worse is that the sales guy actually answered him accordingly, as far as absurd requests go.

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+1 for the Metal Zone...

Went in to PU an OCD (wound up with a Bad Monkey :o)
But dude really pushed the MZ

"Dude... I'm telling you. I've been playing a long time (he was about 17) and this is THE distortion pedal"

"Umm... thanks. I'd like to PU an OCD overdrive."

"You should at least play the Metal Zone bra"

::hollers at other kid behind counter::
"Hey dude... ring me up a Bad Monkey"
::walked out saving $100::

Wow

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It wasn't funny, but maybe a stupid guess or a chance scam. I took my '66 Gibson ES 335 into the Medford, Guitar Center, I was trying to get an estimate on it's value and wanted to try out a few new amps with it, thought I might buy one. I ask if I can play my guitar through this Mesa Boogie and the salesman sets me up with it in a room away from all the noise. I pull out my 335 and I asked the guy what he thought it might be worth he grabs it out of my hands. He tells me I don't think it worth more than $600. I say oh really, he said the finish looks kind of worn and so do the fretts and the something about their not very popular with the younger musicians. I say that's funny I see you have new ones on the wall and your asking $1800 for them. He sez' well, there new and this one looks like it's been played for 10 years. So I tell him yes I've played it over 10 years, more like 30 years and I retired it a few years ago. So he said well maybe its worth $800 to a collector. I smiled and asked for my guitar back and left the store.

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Recently: "Nickel Rockers? No we don't carry 'em. I've never even heard of them, so we probably can't get them."

 

 

He probably thought you asked for Nipple Blockers. Happens to me all the time - my hearing's not what it used to be.

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No need to pick on GC employees. They are just regular people just like you guys here. People can be temporarily dumb or say dumb things anywhere. Just today I ate lunch at Arbys and while I waited for my food I made my drink and got a napkin. So while I stand at the counter with a napkin clearly in one hand and a drink with a straw in it in the other hand, the gal hands me my tray of food and tells me the napkins and straws are behind me.

People are people. Some don't think before they speak, some don't pay attention, some don't give a crap. And they are everywhere... not just GC. :blah:

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That the Vanilla smell coming from my SKB case for my SG...
was actually the nirto finish on the guitar.
My Epiphone SG Custom.


Strangely enough just a week ago I was at Sam Ash and they had an SG standard for just a little over $1300
it had the exact same smell in a Gibson case with plush velvet lining.
I assume SKB is making those cases.
Unless I'm just scratching my head in confusion...
I'm certain it's the case that smells that way.
The guitar (my Epi Sg Custom) has a Poly finish on it.
Still, it smells vintage and has that aroma when played.

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Me (After making sure the GC website had them):
"Do you have any EMG Telecaster sets in stock?"

Employee looks it up on the computer:
"We don't carry them at any location"
He walks over to the display case and shows me a Fender SCN Strat set:
"Will these work?"
:confused:

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Shopping in Jan. at a GC in Texas, I asked for a guitar and they didn't have it in stock. I spoke to the guitar dept. manager to see what he could do... nothing. I told him I'd visit a few other stores and see if I could find one. He said that if anybody else had it, it would be way more expensive so he smuggly added... "I know you'll be back and I'll be waiting for you".

I bought the guitar at a mom and pop, who matched the CG price even thought they know CG didn't have it in stock.

It's been a few months now, I hope that manager isn't still waiting for me.

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