Funniest thing a Guitar Center Employee has told you?

[ES335guy]

I was checking out a Les Paul Custom at GC once. Really nice sounding guitar and played nice but had some nasty dings on it for some reason. Stuff like that doesn't bother me too much...battlescars for being a display piece. Anyway, I asked if they could take a little off because of the minor issues and the kid told me they couldn't. He proceeded to tell me that Gibson is in the relic business just like Fender and this was one of the relics. I'm assuming he was thinking of Gibson Historic's VOS finish...unfortunately this wasn't a Historic model.

[King Loudness]

At the same GC (which is the one I don't go to very often) I was playing an older 80s Schecter USA that had dual humbuckers. I admit I was getting some pretty good sounds out of it, but the same guy walked up and asked how I liked it. Then he said most people didn't realize Schecter made guitars back then, but the 80s Schecters were what Malmsteen started on. I said that I didn't realize he had ever played Schecters, but that he started playing in the 70s and he said 'oh no... He replaced Steve Vai in David Lee Roths touring band and that was where he got his start. I looked at him incredulously and mentioned that I knew that Mark Knopfler had one or two Schecters before he started playing the Pensas and the guy said 'Oh no... Knopfler never played a Schecter'.

Malmsteen did play Schecters briefly in the mid 80s. He also had endorsments with Aria Pro and Crate.

[eyeball987]

I was told that the $99 Squire strat that had just cut my finger due to the sharp fret ends was probably "the best playing and sounding guitar in the store."

[Tedddy]

"I have that same [guitar, amp, effect, cord, etc,] at home!"

[jbviper4]

"Whats a 'One Spot',,, oh, riiight, nothing like that exists"

I heard that too. Then tried to sell me wall warts for 5 different pedals.

[veil]

oh and

"Turn it down."

[WoodenDuckMaker]

guitar center doesnt pay enough to have knowledgeable and helpful sales staff. aside from their flagship stores in high profile areas.

[MattZ31]

You positive Teles come with 9s? Fender representative told me Strats have 9s and Teles have 10s from the factory.

[Valerus]

Long story I live between two GC locations but one of them was closed due to a power outage, so I went to the second one and bought a new, but beat-on amp with the agreement that it would be returned to the first store once power was restored for one still in the box. So I take the amp home and set it up in the living room about 2 feet from where we crate our dog. Earlier in the evening, I gave the dog a bone with lots of meat and fat that was never trimmed and then put her in the crate before going upstairs to bed. I woke up the next morning to find a 3 foot perimeter around her cage entirely sprayed in {censored}, including the amp. The dog got the {censored}s from the bone with all of the fat and raw meat. She had kicked the {censored} all over the place so she wouldn't lay in it. I did my best to clean the amp but the front grill caught some of the {censored} spray that had dried and would not clean up but it didn't smell too bad. So I take the amp back that day for an exchange for a new one and the guy asked me what happened to the amp. I told him that the other store had fixed a leak in the ceiling or roof and the contractors had sprayed some of the textured paint on the grill. 1 1/2 years later, that amp is still at the store.

 

 

epic to the nth degree

[golias]

On 2 levels... one BAD JOKE and two - Chinese pronounce R's like L's. It's the Japanese that pronounce the L's like R's...

 

Actually, both languages use a "tapping R" (kind of like a rolling R, except your tongue only touches the top of your mouth once), which sounds a little bit between a western "L" and a western "R."

 

In the Japanese alphabet, there's no distinction between the sounds. They have five syllables that use it: "ra", "ri", "ro", "ru" and "re", and when translating foreign words, they use those characters regardless of whether it stands for a syllable with an L or an R.

 

The Chinese don't even have a phonetic alphabet, so the point is moot there.

 

 

EDIT: By the way, my favorite race-related joke...

 

Teller: "Hey, what do you call a black guy who flies a plane?"

Listener: "I don't know."

Teller: "A pilot, you {censored}ing racist!"

[cratz2]

Malmsteen did play Schecters briefly in the mid 80s. He also had endorsments with Aria Pro and Crate.

 

 

Yeah, I had ads from all those companies, but he surely didn't START on Schecters before playing Fenders Blackmore Signature strat. That was the main point of the post.

 

:poke:

[mikey4402]

I think you guys are being a little hard on the salespeople. I mean i have been playing music for 10years and i dont know what some of you guys are talking about, why would you expect a kid who is working at GC, inorder to pay bills, to know everything about everything?

HC Member= What is the standard deviation of a probaility distribution between thouse who prefer the Fender Stratocaster vs thouse who prefer the Les Paul durining the great Acid rush of 1963?
GC workers= I dont know sir.
HC Member= ugh your such a noob...

Dont you see something wrong with asking questions to GC employees when in fact you know the answer already?

Do your research before you go to the store. And use the GC guys for questions regarding payment and quanity in stock. If you have a basic question and you dont think the employee knows what he is talking about ask to see someone else or take your bussiness elsewhere.

I just dont understand people who pose queries to thouse who wouldnt know the answer and then turn around and criticize them about it.

/rant

LOL at the Deal with the B**** and about the "I just shredded all over you"
If the latter happend to me i would have his job and/or stick a Squire up his arse.

[pekelnik]

HC Member= What is the standard deviation of a probability distribution between those who prefer the Fender Stratocaster vs those who prefer the Les Paul during the great Acid rush of 1963?

 

 

You make no sense!

[32-20-Blues]

You positive Teles come with 9s? Fender representative told me Strats have 9s and Teles have 10s from the factory.

 

 

American Standard Telecasters come with 9's. Most other models, too AFAIK

[mikey4402]

You make no sense!

 

 

my point exactly!

[aliensporebomb]

A friend of mine got a Modulus Graphite Blacknife with EMGs and a Floyd Rose

tremelo for $125 used from a music store because they thought it was a

"strat copy" not realizing it was a graphite necked instrument that retailed

for $1500 sans trem, about $1700 with trem with the synth pickup.

 

What an amazing guitar. I couldn't believe he got it for that price.

 

Back to funny music store stories.

[mhallerbach]

When I first decided to learn guitar, I went into GC to buy an acoustic. I am a lefty when it comes to writing, throwing a baseball, etc, but play golf, bat and play drums right. I assumed since strumming is fast that I might be a lefty for guitar(seemed I could strum faster with left as a newbe), so I asked what they had for lefty acoustics. They don't have much(Can't move em fast), but they guy told me I should buy a righty and just restring it backwards.
Now I know Hendrix plays right handed guitar upside down, but has also adjusted the nut, and saddlles accordingly, but I didn't knowe what was involved. I bought a Yamaha(One off a huge stack they had), got it home, but before I even tuned it up, decided to take it back and do more research - so glad I did.

I ended up buying a right handed Washburn(which I still play) off the internet - got a great deal on it, was a Mars Music special, discounted on ebay after they went BK, and ended up learning to play right handed after all.

I am happy to say I have not made any major purchases from GC (But some from MF which they own too)since the 80s when I used to buy alot of drum stuff from them - back when they were good and you could wheel and deal.

I will go in there to fart around with guitars and such, but hate the "circus" environment

[jjpistols]

I would laugh my ass off were I witness to an "I just shredded all over you" salesman moment




I would be totally assless with laughter





mikeybunchanumbers is right though - too many geeks with too much time {censored}in with dudes who are just trying to put gas in their cars and condoms on their dicks - why does it make you feel like a badass to {censored} with people while they're at work?

[cratz2]

I think you guys are being a little hard on the salespeople. I mean i have been playing music for 10years and i dont know what some of you guys are talking about, why would you expect a kid who is working at GC, inorder to pay bills, to know everything about everything? HC Member= What is the standard deviation of a probaility distribution between thouse who prefer the Fender Stratocaster vs thouse who prefer the Les Paul durining the great Acid rush of 1963? GC workers= I dont know sir. HC Member= ugh your such a noob... Dont you see something wrong with asking questions to GC employees when in fact you know the answer already? Do your research before you go to the store. And use the GC guys for questions regarding payment and quanity in stock. If you have a basic question and you dont think the employee knows what he is talking about ask to see someone else or take your bussiness elsewhere. I just dont understand people who pose queries to thouse who wouldnt know the answer and then turn around and criticize them about it. /rant

 

 

I hear what you are saying, but it has zero to do with most of what's been said in this thread. I have never in my life asked a question of a salesperson if I already knew the answer... that doesn't stop me from chuckling when a salesperson who obviously doesn't know the difference between his ass and a hole in the ground.

 

Common Sense 101 would dictate that you NOT make statements when you don't know what you are talking about... doesn't mean you can't sell guitars. I think I could sell text books about any subject without knowing about that subject... but if someone that was a research chemist came in, I wouldn't go out of my way to act like I knew what the hell I was talking about.

 

:poke:

[doc7string]

I was asking for a price for a PRS Dragon pickup. After a lengthy look through their computers, I was told that there was no such thing as a Dragon, only a Dragon II. The following day I went to a reputable music store who contacted PRS and had a Dragon wound and shipped that day, and received 2 days later. According to GC, I apparantly no longer have a pickup in my guitar.

[mikey4402]

I hear what you are saying, but it has zero to do with most of what's been said in this thread. I have never in my life asked a question of a salesperson if I already knew the answer... that doesn't stop me from chuckling when a salesperson who obviously doesn't know the difference between his ass and a hole in the ground. Common Sense 101 would dictate that you NOT make statements when you don't know what you are talking about... doesn't mean you can't sell guitars. I think I could sell text books about any subject without knowing about that subject... but if someone that was a research chemist came in, I wouldn't go out of my way to act like I knew what the hell I was talking about. :poke:

 

 

Perhaps if you made a fair amount of commission you would. Even if you end up looking like a ass. haha

[StringJunky]

This is what a GC employee did to someone I work with... So my coworker goes into the store and tries out a guitar. The employee walks up to him, says "let me see that guitar." He sits down and starts playing really fast, gets up, hands the guitar back to my coworker and says, "I just shredded all over you." True story!

 

 

Epic WIN!

[glassberg]

Me: I'm looking for something that sounds like a Les Paul, but with a Fender vibe to it. Can you help me?

Sales Dude: Yeah...

Me: Well can you show me what I'm looking for?

Sales Dude: OK....

Me: Which one?

Sales guy points to a Epi Les Paul with p-90's

Me: Anything else?

Sales Dude: I don't know...

[jwu]

A friend of mine got a Modulus Graphite Blacknife with EMGs and a Floyd Rose tremelo for $125 used from a music store because they thought it was a "strat copy" not realizing it was a graphite necked instrument that retailed for $1500 sans trem, about $1700 with trem with the synth pickup.

 

 

If the store was willing to let it go for $125, they probably got it for $75 or less. So whoever sold the guitar to the store lost a lot of money..

[Exille]

SG's? Those guitars are crap! See what you need is a Fender Bullet! (tried to convince me it wasnt a squire...clearly said squire on the headstock..) Yea those guitars are the poop!.....I left and never came back to that store...