Funniest thing a Guitar Center Employee has told you?

[rock-lobster]

Let's face it, while not all guitar center employees are unknowledgeable about their products, they let a few incompetent people in.

 

here's a collection of some things several GC employees have told me over the years:

 

Well, the problem with B-52 is, all their tubes are solid state! {discussing why i fret out at a certain fret} ehh, it's probably just the cable. Yes, the DSL's have been discontinued. They're being replaced by Marshall's new flagship line, the "JCM's." {asked about a "poly" finish} you mean, like, multiple finishes? {talking about a guitar with a trans red and flame top} it's a really cool paintjob with a really nice striped finish {hopefully, this was not a guy who normally works in the guitar department} i don't understand why it won't turn on!? {messing with a marshall amp while i laugh, he is most likely unaware that marshalls have the on/off and standby switches upside down} {when asked about a button near the knobs of a deluxe player's strat} oh, that's a killswitch, i think that's the buckethead signature strat ...this next one, will seem like i made it up, but i swear to the gawds... {asked about any b-stock models they may have} Well, we only sell our strings in sets of all six.

 

 

let's hear yours!

[songsforbears]

I was told to stop playing a sweet vintage Mustang bass out of a sweet vintage Bassman amp. When I told him about how the Bassman is actually a bass amp that guitarists adopted, he covered by saying that he thought I was playing out of the Hot Rod Deville 4x10 next to it. I then told him that the Hot Rod Deville is actually just a modified Bassman. He just kind of shrugged and let me be. They should understand that young people can afford expensive gear. I had a '59 Bassman LTD RI. I know what I'm talking about. Sheesh.

[mnhhngbfs]

"What do they call luthier's in China? Ruthiers."

Yeah, not very funny.

[aphelion]

when i was younger

me "what do all these switches on this jaguar do"

him "i dont know" walks away

 

cause i really didnt want to know

[rock-lobster]

when i was younger me "what do all these switches on this jaguar do" him "i dont know" walks away cause i really didnt want to know

 

i'm not gonna lie, i don't even know what the switches on most jags do

[Senor Cleavage]

"Brass nut? Yeah, I'd say that's a stock '58 Les Paul part."

[Folky_Grunge]

A year or two ago:

 

"You're looking for an overdrive? Well, maybe you should look at this BOSS Metal Zone."

[rock-lobster]

"Brass nut? Yeah, I'd say that's a stock '58 Les Paul part."

 

you can't be serious.

[Senor Cleavage]

you can't be serious.

 

Truth is stranger than fiction!

 

I just remembered another one, the same guy said there's 1 tone and 1 volume knob on a Squier 51, no pickup selector, so both pickups are on all the time.

[Yasgurs Farm]

I will tell a guitar shop story that isn't GC. ('Cause I have never been to GC, really.)

 

I was looking at acoustic guitars, years ago, before I knew much about acoustic guitars. There was an Alvarez that said it was made of "solid wood, top, sides and back." And there was another guitar, a lower end Martin, I think, that said it had a "solid wood top." The guitars all seemed to be made of real wood. I didn't yet understand about laminates vs. solid wood. So I asked the sales guy. He said, "I think most of the guitars are made with a plastic wood-grain sheathing over some other sort of material. But our more expensive guitars use actual plywood, made from real wood. The tone is much, much better with real laminates, like plywood. You can hear the difference."

 

And, really, I *could* hear the difference! So you see, the ignorant music shop employees aren't always talking the merchandise UP; sometimes they mistakenly talk it DOWN.

[streetknight]

wasn't directed at me, but I overheard one of the sales guys telling a couple who were buying an Epi LP Special that an LP didn't sound like a LP unless you were playing thru a Marshall. Then directed them to the little 75.00 ones

[Phishmonkey]

While trying to buy a small clone

 

"I'm not giving you my number and address"

"Well then you void your warranty, they won't have your information."

"Isn't that what warranty cards are for?"

"Yeah, but EHX has to call us to confirm that you bought it here or they won't fix your pedal"

 

I resisted the urge to say, "Isn't that what receipts are for?" and just walked out before I lost any more braincells

[Northstar]

wasn't directed at me, but I overheard one of the sales guys telling a couple who were buying an Epi LP Special that an LP didn't sound like a LP unless you were playing thru a Marshall. Then directed them to the little 75.00 ones

 

They're not selling the stuff, they're selling the clich

[White Falcon]

me: 'this gibson V is supposed to come with it's case'

 

gc salesdood: 'well, we mainly sell to *professional* musicians and they have their own cases, so we don't like charging them extra for something they already have'

 

me: 'right, well the case is supposed to be included in the price, not extra'

 

salesdood: 'the cost of the case is deducted from the price'

 

me: 'so to get the case included I need to pay full list price?'

 

salesdood: 'we have the guaranteed lowest price'

 

me: 'good luck with that...see ya!'

[lefchr]

that a amp I wanted to trade in was worth less because i modded it with new tubes:freak:

[steve_man]

"Will that be Cash?"

[Rob Dobbs]

"Whats a 'One Spot',,, oh, riiight, nothing like that exists"

[Tezmond]

Not guitar related, but... I asked for a dozen nuggets at KFC and the young girl told me I could only get a pack of 6 or 12

[d00d]

ok, this one isn't from a bad sales pitch, but should really have just been common sense.

 

I worked for GC for a few months in 2005.

 

Rick Allen came into our store one day.

 

a sales rep from the DRUM department runs to everyone and says....

 

"Did you guys hear? John Bonham came here today!!"

 

 

He then went on to work for DW Drums. not even kidding.

[golias]

Okay, as long as we're drifting off the subject of guitar stupidity...

 

When I was in college, my roommate sang for a cover band that played a lot of little dive bars across southern Minnesota. I was in one such bar when the following conversation took place:

 

Me: "So what are your taps?"

Waitress: "We don't have taps here, ma'am. Just cans."

Me: "Cans??? Okay... I guess I'll just have a Leinenkugel."

Waitress: "Just a minute..."

 

*she goes off and talks to the bartender, then returns*

 

Waitress: "I'm sorry, ma'am. We don't carry imports."

 

 

(For you non-US readers, in case you had not guessed: Leinenkugel is a relatively popular American-style lager, brewed just over in River Falls, Wisconsin -- about 90 miles from the bar I was at. It's about as exotic and foreign as ordering a LaBatt in Canada, a Crown Lager in Australia, or a Harp in Ireland.)

[leopardstar]

this is going to be the last sale for at least 2 years!!!

[B Money]

not a GC story, but still stupid:

 

a local mom-n-pop music store is a Peavey dealer. They push those Peaveys like they're the best thing ever invented. No matter what Peavey product it is; guitars, amps, drums, PA, effect, etc...it's the best you can get.

Anyway, years ago I was shopping around for a guitar amp the sales guy at the store was try to sell me a Bandit 65. I told the sales guy that I was concerned that a 60 watt amp might not have enough power to keep up with my drummer. Sales guy tells me "But these are PEAVEY WATTS, they are more powerful than any other manufacturer!"

[Venkmanologist]

This one is just kinda funny, not really showing a glaring lack of knowledge or anything. I found out my local GC had a floor model Line 6 POD xt Livefor $200. When I got up there, the sales rep let me try it out. I asked him if the $200 price was true and he said, "That seems fairly impossible, but let me check anyway."

 

He comes back about ten minutes later and says, "I don't know how or why, but yes it is $200. And if you don't buy it, I'm going to punch you."

[C-4]

GC sales rep:"I cannot discount that guitar because I am not making enough of a commission on it."

[chrisebrooks06]

this is why i use the internet lol