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Original Song- Are You Proud of Me?

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  • Original Song- Are You Proud of Me?

    Hi everyone!

    I am only new to this forum and relatively new to song writing and recording. I have recently uploaded my very first original song to soundcloud and I am looking for some feedback on it. If anyone has 3 minutes of free time, I would love to hear what you think!

    Here is the link: https://soundcloud.com/ptcruiser1801...ou-proud-of-me

    Here is more information about the song:

    I wrote this song a little while ago in response to seeing people around me going through some tough times with anxiety and depression and the struggle that they faced on a daily basis. Some of these friends I saw overcome their struggles and some didn't. The song hopefully reflects the persistent nature of mental illness. The 'Are you proud of me?' line reflects one particular person I know whose personal struggles related to never feeling good enough for anyone.

    Here are the lyrics:

    I see the road,
    Narrow right before my eyes,
    And in the dark,
    The fading light is my disguise.

    I hear a voice,
    That familiar haunting sound,
    It follows me,
    I know no place it cant be found.

    Are you proud of what you see?
    Are you proud of me?

    I stand and wait,
    To watch you walking right by me,
    You think I'm gone,
    My shadow isn't there to see.

    I keep the faith,
    My will is strong if I believe,
    In time I'll know,
    What I can and can't achieve.

    Are you proud of what you see?
    Are you proud of me?

    Focus now,
    You're reflecting your own dreams,
    Broken Down,
    Everything's not as it seems.

    Weary eyes,
    They've seen too much but cannot close,
    Sunken Heart,
    A liar reaps just what he sows.

    Are you proud of what you see?
    Are you proud of me?

    Are you proud of what you see?
    Are you proud of me?

  • #2
    I like it. Its got the flavor of a modern melancholy Irish or Scottish ballad. Very neat from that aspect and the vocals aren't bad. I believe the musical arrangement could be greatly improved with a chorus. Maybe something that rises up to a higher major pitch then feathers back down to the minor verse. It will give the piece some climax and resolve from the otherwise hypnotic dirge like verse. Major and Minor are two sides of a coin in a song like this that could be used very effectively.

    The musical arrangement note wise is pretty good. The echo notes to the vocals become a bit predictable and even a distraction about half way through because of their overuse. I was drawn away from focusing on the main vocals by this. I'd suggest you come up with a few alternative riffs and maybe use them every other line. This will keep the accompaniment lively and add to its folk style. It will keep peoples ears guessing. Its often the notes people don't hear which are the loudest and gets them hooked on listening.


    Sound wise, the instruments are obviously done on some cheap Casio like keyboard with auto accompaniment running. I'd suggest you either get a keyboard with realistic instrument tones or one that will record midi. If you track midi you'd be able to ditch the cheesy Nintendo tones and substitute highly realistic sounding virtual instruments. People would be hard pressed to know if the parts were real or synthetic when listening. There are a massive numbers of really great VSTi instrument plugins available for free now. If your keyboard is midi capable, you can simply record midi tracks and choose whatever voice sounds best.

    Midi records the key strokes much like creating a piano paper roll relies the holes in the paper to trigger its keys. If you put that paper roll in a harpsichord or string machine it will produce those voices of those instruments using the same timing, duration and even note velocity if the keys are touch sensitive. Using recorded midi tracks you can choose any voice of any quality you want and can go back and re-master recordings instruments any time you want. Recording analog you're stuck with whatever instrument you originally chose and you have to re-record the entire part to improve the voices. Its also allot cheaper using midi too. Any keyboard with midi will work.

    Overall I'll give your recording a B+ for its originality and detail. If the backing instruments didn't sound so cheesy I could rate it much higher.

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