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16 things you should ONLY say in public on Thanksgiving. . .

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  • 16 things you should ONLY say in public on Thanksgiving. . .

    1. Check out the size of that huge breast!
    2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
    3. It's Cool Whip time!
    4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
    5. That's one terrific spread!
    6. I'm in really the mood for a little dark meat.
    7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
    8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
    9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
    10. Don't play with your meat.
    11. You just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
    12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
    13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
    14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
    15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
    16. You'll know it's ready when the little red thing pops up.
    "We are currently experiencing some technical difficulties due to reality fluctuations. The elves are working tirelessly to patch the correct version of reality. Activities here have been temporarily disabled since the fundamentals of mathematics, physics and reason may be incomprehensible during this indeterminate period of instability. Normal service will be restored once we are certain as to what 'normal' is."

    Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting '...man, what a ride!'

    "The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively" ~Bob Marley

    Solipsism is the new empiricism. -Alan Burdick

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    • #3

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      • #4

        "If I would have known I was gonna hafta play this song for the rest of my life.........
        I woulda wrote a better song "
        member Mazi Bee Militia
        Talk Box Brigade
        Gretsch Guards
        Geezer Brigade #291

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        • #5
          There are several on that list that my wife and I say on a fairly regular basis.

          I won't be getting any more specific.
          (Various Guitars of no interest but to me)

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          • #6
            where can I bid on the video rights?
            "We are currently experiencing some technical difficulties due to reality fluctuations. The elves are working tirelessly to patch the correct version of reality. Activities here have been temporarily disabled since the fundamentals of mathematics, physics and reason may be incomprehensible during this indeterminate period of instability. Normal service will be restored once we are certain as to what 'normal' is."

            Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting '...man, what a ride!'

            "The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively" ~Bob Marley

            Solipsism is the new empiricism. -Alan Burdick

            Comment

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