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Remembering Bob Hope

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  • Remembering Bob Hope

    BOB HOPE REMEMBERED


    ON TURNING 70
    'You still chase women, but only downhill.

    ON TURNING 80
    'That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.'

    ON TURNING 90
    'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.'

    ON TURNING 100
    'I don't feel old. In fact, I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.'

    ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING
    'I ruined my hands in the ring.
    The referee kept stepping on them.'

    ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR
    'Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover'.

    ON GOLF
    'Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.'

    ON PRESIDENTS
    'I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.'

    ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER
    'When I was born, the doctor said to my mother "Congratulations, you have an eight pound ham"

    ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL
    'I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.'

    ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY
    'Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.'

    ON HIS SIX BROTHERS
    'That's how I learned to dance ~
    Waiting for the bathroom.'

    ON HIS EARLY FAILURES
    'I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the
    Stuff the audience threw at me.'

    ON GOING TO HEAVEN
    'I've done benefits for ALL religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.'


    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally Posted by MattACaster : *Runs 2 blocks down the street to Guitar Center, grabs detuned Schecter off the wall, plugs into Line6 Spider and proceeds to bring teh brootalz*

  • #2
    Bob had some good one liners
    ________________________________
    I keep stimulants handy in case I see a snake,which I also keep handy.W.C.Fields

    G.B.#275

    OK We'll close down the business,have the manager shot,and give you back all your money.will that make you happy?

    The Hot Rod Owner's Club

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    • #3
      Bob had some of the best writers in Hollywood back in the day...but you had to hand it to him on his delivery, poise and style...
      "We are currently experiencing some technical difficulties due to reality fluctuations. The elves are working tirelessly to patch the correct version of reality. Activities here have been temporarily disabled since the fundamentals of mathematics, physics and reason may be incomprehensible during this indeterminate period of instability. Normal service will be restored once we are certain as to what 'normal' is."

      Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting '...man, what a ride!'

      "The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively" ~Bob Marley

      Solipsism is the new empiricism. -Alan Burdick

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