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Did she ever tell you that you sound like a gorilla when having sex?

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  • Did she ever tell you that you sound like a gorilla when having sex?

    I don't know why she has to have a running commentary whilst doing the deed. She usually says something that gets us both laughing, and then the boner is gone.
    Originally posted by MrKnobs
    God, that's beautiful man! And they say romance is dead!

  • #2
    Originally posted by Cornholio Farquarth III View Post
    I don't know why she has to have a running commentary whilst doing the deed. She usually says something that gets us both laughing, and then the boner is gone.
    I thought she only did that with me.
    It's not a lie if you believe it~ Art Vandalay
    Free your mind, and your ass will follow~G. Clinton
    When the wise man points to the stars, the fool looks at the finger~Confucius

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    • #3
      It's almost like having teh sex with Howard Cosell. It's a play by play description, complete with editorial.
      Originally posted by MrKnobs
      God, that's beautiful man! And they say romance is dead!

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      • #4
        At least she doesn't hold up a score afterward:

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        • #5
          Originally posted by DeepEnd View Post
          At least she doesn't hold up a score afterward:

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          This says there's always room for improvement.


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          _____________________________________
          Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.

          Join Date: Aug 2001
          Location: N. Adams, MA USA
          Posts as of Jan 10th 2013: 82,617

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          • #6
            She can't really hear or see anything. She covers her ears and eyes in shame and just sorta whimpers.
            Workin' for the woman with money in her hand.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Cornholio Farquarth III View Post
              I don't know why she has to have a running commentary whilst doing the deed. She usually says something that gets us both laughing, and then the boner is gone.
              If she was comparing sex with you vs. the sex she's had with gorillas, that would be problematic, i would think.
              It's not a lie if you believe it~ Art Vandalay
              Free your mind, and your ass will follow~G. Clinton
              When the wise man points to the stars, the fool looks at the finger~Confucius

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              • #8
                Originally posted by tuco View Post

                If she was comparing sex with you vs. the sex she's had with gorillas, that would be problematic, i would think.
                The upside of that is that gorillas reportedly have very small peeners, so it will make you look good in comparison.
                It's not a lie if you believe it~ Art Vandalay
                Free your mind, and your ass will follow~G. Clinton
                When the wise man points to the stars, the fool looks at the finger~Confucius

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Mikeo View Post
                  This says there's always room for improvement.


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                  Why do you have two guys rating Corny's performance in the sack? I at least chose an image with three women. Do you know something about him I don't?
                  Official HCAG “Theory-Challenged Hack”
                  Member of the IBANEZ ACOUSTIC ASSASSINS
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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by DeepEnd View Post
                    Why do you have two guys rating Corny's performance in the sack? I at least chose an image with three women. Do you know something about him I don't?
                    IDK


                    _____________________________________
                    Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.

                    Join Date: Aug 2001
                    Location: N. Adams, MA USA
                    Posts as of Jan 10th 2013: 82,617

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                    • #11
                      HC, where the dumbing down of humanity originated and continues to be fostered.
                      - The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule it. - H.L. Mencken

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                      • #12
                        Well, at least we're consistent.
                        Originally posted by MrKnobs
                        God, that's beautiful man! And they say romance is dead!

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by tuco View Post

                          The upside of that is that gorillas reportedly have very small peeners, so it will make you look good in comparison.
                          The other side of that is, that while Gorillas have small peeners, they could totally kick your ass. They are more Alpha than any of us.

                          Women prefer Alphas...Unless they are Alphas, and bossy..Some guys like that kind of woman. I ain't one of those guys, but I don't want to fight a Gorilla either.
                          Last edited by AlamoJoe; 09-25-2018, 09:54 PM.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Idunno View Post
                            HC, where the dumbing down of humanity originated and continues to be fostered.
                            ^ Quoted for truth.
                            Official HCAG “Theory-Challenged Hack”
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                            • #15
                              Yet y'all post here regularly.

                              Me too.

                              Howboutdat.
                              I not only resent the allegation, I resent the alligator!

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