Members Chunkytele Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 My family and friends are constantly volunteering our band for crap. Everything from weddings, yard sales, bake sales, church and social events. I get two or three strange cell calls a week from strangers seeking CHEAP or Free music at some wayward event. These intrusions piss me off. More importantly, you start to feel like the people closest to you don Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Li Shenron Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 While that surely is a sign of the fact that they want to help you, it's obvious that they aren't really aware that you're having problems with this... You just need to let your relatives and friends now! "Please don't promise to anyone that we will play for them" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members STFU NOOB! Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 or figure out a set rate for them to quote. make it high so that if you get the call it'll really be worth your time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members way2fat Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 When they call looking for cheap or free music, tell them that you don't work cheap or free but that you know an up-and-coming metal band, and that Drone of {censored} would probably be happy to play the gig for "exposure". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Small Stone Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 Create yourself a kind of politic, like a contract, even better if you write it down: - No free shows- Minimum fee of xxx$- 2 coupons for free drinks for each member- beer is not a pay!- etc... Make it clear of what you do and don't. And if those conditions can't be met, you don't play! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bassred Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 I'd have to agree that it seems they are trying to help, just that they don't know how you feel about it. set a rate, try to have them meet that rate, do you pay orignals or overs? that makes a huge difference too. I took a lot more cherapo gigs when I was pushing original songs because the crowd doesn't know the songs and it is a harder sell to get them dancing or into it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cephus Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 Here's my passive-agressive approach: I tell them that since it was for family/friends that I will do it gratis, but I can't extend the offer to include the other band members, so they need to be paid our standard rate. So, I knock off my cut, but they still have to pay the other guys what they normally make. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhat Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 Just get some band business cards printed out ,,, tell your friends and relatives to just pass out the card ,,, and you will talk to the people, Keep the business part of what you charge completely under your control. rat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wheresgrant3 Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 Haha... kinda funny. We have friends that are constantly throwing referals of bars and clubs that could never afford us. It's always "My sister's husband owns a bar and is looking for band"... or "My friend owns a bar and you should play there". They are always these hole-in-a wall dives or places with no experience booking entertainment. Our calendar is full and we're at the top of the local pay scale, so it's not even like we have the room to add new clubs. People just like to feel they had a hand in the process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members THX1138 Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 I don't agree with everyone saying that you should tell them your rates and all that other junk. It's a business, and business should be between you and the client. Tell your family they can pass along your contact number, and you'll handle it. EDIT - or get business cards like Rhat said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhat Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 Haha... kinda funny. We have friends that are constantly throwing referals of bars and clubs that could never afford us. It's always "My sister's husband owns a bar and is looking for band"... or "My friend owns a bar and you should play there". They are always these hole-in-a wall dives or places with no experience booking entertainment. Our calendar is full and we're at the top of the local pay scale, so it's not even like we have the room to add new clubs. People just like to feel they had a hand in the process. Alot of bands will have a couple members who perform as a duo, to get those small jobs. A couple guys pick up a mid week gig and, who knows you may tie into a full gig for the whole band just from the duo performance. I know a country band that does this. rat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MartinC Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 My wife used to ask me to break out the guitar every time her relatives came over until I pointed out that I had done hundreds of club dates over the last few years and none of them ever showed up. Solved the issue right there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vanlatte Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 When they call looking for cheap or free music, tell them that you don't work cheap or free but that you know an up-and-coming metal band, and that Drone of {censored} would probably be happy to play the gig for "exposure". lol at "Drone of {censored}" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vanlatte Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 My wife used to ask me to break out the guitar every time her relatives came over until I pointed out that I had done hundreds of club dates over the last few years and none of them ever showed up. Solved the issue right there. Ouch! MartinC - 1Relatives - 0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members THX1138 Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 My wife used to ask me to break out the guitar every time her relatives came over until I pointed out that I had done hundreds of club dates over the last few years and none of them ever showed up. Solved the issue right there. O snap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BlueStrat Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 I like to tell them "Yeah, we play for free...but we get 600 bucks for moving gear." I even have other musicians try to pull this with me.I got a call from guy I played with about 16 years ago, wanting me to go do a festival for 4 hours (which is unheard of, it was in a dive in a little town-3 bands for 12 hours!) for 400 bucks to the band. I explained to him that since I had played with him, I'd made 4 CDs, had done a lot of concerts and festival gigs that paid me 1500 bucks for playing 75-90 minutes on other people's gear. In short, I was worth a lot more than 400 bucks, and if word got around I was selling it for that, no mattter how much fun it might be, the high paying festival gigs would go bye bye. I was going to say I would do it as a side man in his band, but not mine, before he interrupted me and accused me of "being a big rock star" and said "Maybe some day I'll come up with a gig that is worthy of you", etc etc and then hung up on me. I found out later he was telling all these mutual acquaintences and friends that he tried to get me, but I wouldn't play unless I personally got 1500 dollars, which was a straight up lie. Ah well, you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ides of March Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 Seems to me unless your are making major money or have alot of noteity the family will just look at your band, my band who's ever band as a hobby or something to do just to dick around. Everytime I mention to my wife or mother that I am working on a new song, or have practice or am saving for a new pedal they kind of give me that, pat on the head like oooooooo kkkkaaaayy Matt. Don't forget about the trash now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Blackbelt1 Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 I found out later he was telling all these mutual acquaintences and friends that he tried to get me, but I wouldn't play unless I personally got 1500 dollars, which was a straight up lie. I wish someone would propagate rumors like that about me. Maybe I'd start getting paid more. ~Blackbelt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chunkytele Posted June 20, 2007 Author Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 Again respect for the endeavor and the arts it lacking here. I' m not seeking support. Just enough empathy for a family and friend to understand this is a serious effort. My band members work full time jobs outside of music. We have family and financial obligations. However this effort is important enough for each of us to take a week vacation to do studio work on our project. This is not just a hobby for us. We have fun with it but we take our music seriously. Don't call rehearsal fooling around. In fact-Don't use the snare drum as a pizza pan-don't mime songs with my $1200 axe when I'm not around.-don't use the Roland as a mini bar for soft drinks.-don't use the amp as a phone stool-don Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ChordGirl Posted June 20, 2007 Members Share Posted June 20, 2007 It all sounds very disrespectful to me. I couldn't imagine treating my Dad's golf gear this way, even though it is a hobby for him. There's no way in hell I'd let someone treat my equipment that way, either. Why are they sitting on your amp to answer the phone, or grabbing song sheets to write on? Is your music stuff always laying out in the main living area? If so, maybe you should start putting it all away, or at least out of the way. If it's in a separate area, lock it up or ask/tell them "don't mess with anything in the band room." As for the booking shows part, they should just pass contact info for you guys to book the shows. Then you can say no to Chucky Cheese. This could be an issue of communication and personal boundaries. Just my .02 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ggm1960 Posted June 21, 2007 Members Share Posted June 21, 2007 My wife used to ask me to break out the guitar every time her relatives came over until I pointed out that I had done hundreds of club dates over the last few years and none of them ever showed up. Solved the issue right there. It's funny how that works! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ggm1960 Posted June 21, 2007 Members Share Posted June 21, 2007 The fact is most people you know will never take your music seriously let alone try to understand it. The same thing happens when you get an electronics degree, suddenly everyone in the family has a broken VCR they're sure you're anxious to fix for them. You just simply respectfully decline their offers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members FitchFY Posted June 21, 2007 Members Share Posted June 21, 2007 Honesty is the best policy here. Did they pay for your gear and gas? Then politefully decline the show and let them know why -- the band is a business. You don't give away free business, and rocking out in someone's garage for a family party isn't an exposure gig. Opening for the touring national band infront of 300+ people is an exposure gig. Just be straight up and polite with them that you'd appreciate it if they stopped doing that or gave just your contact information. Conversely, tell other people that your family and friends will mow their lawn for free and give them their phone numbers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SpaceNorman Posted June 22, 2007 Members Share Posted June 22, 2007 My family and friends are constantly volunteering our band for crap. Yikes!!!! If I couldn't get the under control and fast - I'd seriously start thinking about getting me some different family!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhat Posted June 22, 2007 Members Share Posted June 22, 2007 The fact is most people you know will never take your music seriously let alone try to understand it. How true ,,, you pick up a guitar or sit down at a keyboard and play and sing a song... most non players, start talking about natural talent. The just dont get the notion that you spent hours upon hours practicing to be able to do that and even after years of learning songs ,, you still run across ones that take you hours and hours to get down right..... If you try to explain it they wont understand. If they cant do it ,, they need an excuse why. No natural talent is typically the first place they go. Oh well. The only gift I think i got was being a stuborn type A compulsive person who is gonna spend the time to learn the freeking song. If it takes 20 hours ,, it takes 20 hours ... if a person wants to think its natural talent ,, thats cool. I quit trying to explain it years ago. rat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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