Members stevmac1 Posted May 17, 2013 Members Share Posted May 17, 2013 Lead guitarist and I started the band 8 years ago, drummer with us 7, rhythm and vocalists about 6 or so. We consider ourselves all good friends. We typically played 3 to 6 shows every month and stayed plenty busy all year until January 2013, when said lead guitarist moved about 30 minutes south of where he was living (so now he's 1:45 from most gigs).When he moved, he laid some pretty constricting "rules" on us, such as no more than 2 shows a month and ONLY on Saturdays. After a couple sit-downs with him, I got him to agree to 3 shows a month.So the situation is this; after 8 years, we're starting to get more high profile desirable gigs. Like summer lake parties, 4th of July with 8,000 people, club grand-openings, State Fair, etc.. and he rarely budges from those "rules".It took a little urging for one member, but the rest of us agree that a sub would benefit us greatly and help us stay somewhat "in demand". How do we (probably I) even begin to aprroach him with this idea (plan)?We've been friends for a very long time and I'd like him to ultimately stay in the band. steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members toober Posted May 17, 2013 Members Share Posted May 17, 2013 Re-iterate his current status of only wanting to gig 2-3 times per month. Let him know you will getting a sub for increased performances and ask him what is the best way to give him priority for his 2-3 times per month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Potts Posted May 17, 2013 Members Share Posted May 17, 2013 stevmac1 wrote: Lead guitarist and I started the band 8 years ago, drummer with us 7, rhythm and vocalists about 6 or so. We consider ourselves all good friends. We typically played 3 to 6 shows every month and stayed plenty busy all year until January 2013, when said lead guitarist moved about 30 minutes south of where he was living (so now he's 1:45 from most gigs). When he moved, he laid some pretty constricting "rules" on us, such as no more than 2 shows a month and ONLY on Saturdays. After a couple sit-downs with him, I got him to agree to 3 shows a month. So the situation is this; after 8 years, we're starting to get more high profile desirable gigs. Like summer lake parties, 4th of July with 8,000 people, club grand-openings, State Fair, etc.. and he rarely budges from those "rules". It took a little urging for one member, but the rest of us agree that a sub would benefit us greatly and help us stay somewhat "in demand". How do we (probably I) even begin to approach him with this idea (plan)? We've been friends for a very long time and I'd like him to ultimately stay in the band. steve Wow Steve- that's a tough one. The only thing that I can say is that he put the restrictions on his availability. Even if his restrictions were warranted it still puts you guys in a lousy position if you want to play more. I'd really approach it from a friend perspective and not as a bandmate. Something like, "Listen- you and I are best buds and we go back a long way so I'm not overly anxious to tell you we want to add a sub to the band for the gigs you can't make."I think just jumping right in and not beating around the bush will do wonders. By all means make sure you say exactly what your intentions are so you guys don't have to have another conversation 6 months from now.I'll bet he may get a little territorial and say that he can play more. I'd also bet that it won't work out and he'll back off again. Best of luck man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Yer Blues Posted May 17, 2013 Members Share Posted May 17, 2013 I think the way you laid it out in the post is pretty straight forward. Is it a cover band or an original band where he writes a lot of the material. If it's a cover band I don't think one guy should expect the rest of the band to make the sacrifice for him. If it's an original band and he writes the material then it will be tougher. Ultimately, you will feel a lot better once you talk to him about it and having to worry about it. The fact you posted this shows you value his friendship, so I think you will go about it the right way. You can't control his reaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stevmac1 Posted May 17, 2013 Author Members Share Posted May 17, 2013 Potts wrote: I'll bet he may get a little territorial and say that he can play more. I'd also bet that it won't work out and he'll back off again. Best of luck man! It would be nice if he agreed to play more, but I don't see it happening. I really hope he doesn't get pissed and take it personally. I think we're really going in different directions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jeff42 Posted May 17, 2013 Members Share Posted May 17, 2013 Sounds familiar. Some members of my last band had similar rules and they became very strict rules in the last few years of the band. (we went from 2002-2012)Only about 2 shows a month (3 maybe if there were 5 saturdays in the month)no fridays unless it was a very good gigNever 2 weekend in a row. So 2 years ago some of us that wanted, or needed to play more started a trio side project that gigged 1X per month (usually fridays.) That grew into 3X per month and now to 4-5X per month. The side project is now our "main" band and the other band is only "dusted off" for private gigs. This is what we did and I am glad we did. YMMVI do miss the "full band" at times but it is what it is... We were all friends and IMO still are. It was a bit rough at times because Ostrich Hat started booking more and more but we were upfront with the rest of the band. We wanted to play more, they did not. Even when we had to sub out our bassist on occasion it was a "big deal" and people felt hurt over it so this was the ONLY way. In your shoes I would try the sub route though. Talk to him as friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stevmac1 Posted May 17, 2013 Author Members Share Posted May 17, 2013 Yer Blues wrote: I think the way you laid it out in the post is pretty straight forward. Is it a cover band or an original band where he writes a lot of the material. Cover band. He sings maybe 8 songs. Easy enough to cover. Excellent guitarist though. If it's a cover band I don't think one guy should expect the rest of the band to make the sacrifice for him. If it's an original band and he writes the material then it will be tougher. We all see it hat way too. It's getting to be like one guy dictating to 4 others... Ultimately, you will feel a lot better once you talk to him about it and having to worry about it. The fact you posted this shows you value his friendship, so I think you will go about it the right way. You can't control his reaction. I do value his friendship and I need to man up and get the ball rolling. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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