Jump to content

Subbing issues


etcetra

Recommended Posts

  • Members

So I have a friend who asked me to sub for gig very often,I am his default sub whenever he can't do a gig, and I've recently ran into problem with subbing for him.. basically there's a jam session and venue wants kb player to bring their kb because the acoustic piano wasn't cutting it when pianists need to take over bass duty during the session. The problem pays enough for what I consider minimum for gig of this type, and I'd need to take a long cab drive which would take almost 1/3 of that pay(I live in a city where significant portion of the population doesn't drive because we have good mass transit.. but there is no easy way to get to the venue for me using public transportation from where I live.) My friend told me this on a short notice and I politely told him that I can do this gig but in the future I cannot take a gig like this considering the pay and the cost/effort to bring my own equipment there. I let that slide and my friend assured me that he can set up his small keyboard bass for me in the future if he needs me to sub in the future.

 

Fast forward couple months, I've done couple of gigs at the venue with the key bass, and has asked me to do whole bunch of gigs at this place for the next few weeks since he will be out of town. Again, he messages me on short notice asking if I had figured out the bass situation for the next few weeks(which he never asked me to do until now). I told him I haven't, and I ended up having to bring my gear again because he is using the key bass tonight for a gig. Again I told him that I've already made clear what I can and cannot accept for a gig and that this is the last time I'll do this gig under this circumstance. I also told him that I would not have taken this gig as is if it was someone else asking me to do this. He said that he can leave one of his kb at the venue for me to use while I am away, so it shouldn't be a problem for the next couple of gigs.

 

I am just wondering what you guys think, and whether I handled the situation appropriately. On one hand it's not cool that my friend is putting me in this kind of situation, but he is letting me use his kb and he has been very helpful. I suggested my friend asking someone else who would be willing to take the gig and he says that there really isn't anybody in town who has the level of competence to do the gig. I can think of handful of people who can, but they are either working or they won't do the gig. I really don't want to strain my relationship with my friend and it's nice that he trusts me as a reliable sub, but it's not pleasant being put in situation like this.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

You told your friend what you thought. Honesty is the right approach. If you feel the hassles [transportation costs, gear haulage] of the gig outweighs the $, don't do the gig, especially on short notice.

 

His original offer to leave his key bass unit faded, and suddenly he is putting the responsibility on you? He should have discussed this with you when he took another gig [frankly, it sounds to me like he is taking a higher paying gig and pushing you to cover his lower paying gig, which is really unfair, especially on short notice].

 

Offering to leave his rig [while he is 'out of town' may help, but, if it were me, I would turn him down on the next short notice call, tell him you have personal stuff to do, and could he please, in the future, give you more notice? This will make him take a look at how he has taken advantage of your amicable relationship, and he will need to find a second sub, on short notice, which now puts him on the spot, which is only fair.

 

I have to wonder how honest your 'friend' is being with you. Why is it always short notice for these gigs?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
You told your friend what you thought. Honesty is the right approach. If you feel the hassles [transportation costs, gear haulage] of the gig outweighs the $, don't do the gig, especially on short notice.

 

His original offer to leave his key bass unit faded, and suddenly he is putting the responsibility on you? He should have discussed this with you when he took another gig [frankly, it sounds to me like he is taking a higher paying gig and pushing you to cover his lower paying gig, which is really unfair, especially on short notice].

 

Offering to leave his rig [while he is 'out of town' may help, but, if it were me, I would turn him down on the next short notice call, tell him you have personal stuff to do, and could he please, in the future, give you more notice? This will make him take a look at how he has taken advantage of your amicable relationship, and he will need to find a second sub, on short notice, which now puts him on the spot, which is only fair.

 

I have to wonder how honest your 'friend' is being with you. Why is it always short notice for these gigs?

 

 

You are right about him taking a better paying gig and I agree that the short notice was definitely not cool. He asked me about the gig last week, and I assumed the key bass would be there, because that's what we've agreed upon last time we talked. If I knew I'd need to bring my gear, I'd have asked him to ask someone else first.

 

I am guessing he either forgot about leaving the key bass or something happened in the gig that required him to bring it with him on the last minute.

 

EDIT: I don't think I'll get a chance to talk to my friend, so I left a pretty detailed message, basically the gist of it is

 

1 based on past conversation I assumed he'd let me use his Key Bass and there was no indication that I was responsible for bringing my gear for this gig until he messaged me few hours before the gig.

 

2 I had errands near the venue and was planning to go straight to the gig afterwards. I ended up not doing them, but had I actually done that I'd have to rush back home and come back on short notice(it takes about 45min-hour to get there from home on public transportation half way).

 

3 I wished he reminded me about bringing kb stand, since I don't remember what the venue had(I brought my gear once a few month ago) and he knew. Between cab and KB stand, I basically made no money today

 

4 I make a strong distinction between what I consider gig/job and what I consider something I am doing for fun or for help. This went from a gig to help situation and by the time I found out I couldn't do anything about it. Had my friend approached me earlier about bringing my own gear, acknowledge that this is not something I'd do as job and told me he needed me to help him out this time, I'd feel much better about it and it wouldn't have rubbed me off the wrong way.

 

EDIT 2: Just got a message back. He apologized and he admitted he didn't really think carefully about my perspective on things. He said he'll be careful in the future so everything is cool now. I guess I am pretty sensitive about these things, because I've come across so many situations where people blur the line between a job and help intentionally to take advantage of me. It usually takes the form of

 

1)someone asking me to do a gig that appears legit at first

2)I later find out about a caveat(s) which, had I known earlier I'd have turned down the gig

3)When you confront it issue, the other party feign ignorance(i.e "I didn't know about this either until now")guilt trips you by saying they need me to do the gig and can't find replacement on short notice and/or they will ask you to do it this time for the sake of helping them out. In return they will hook me up with good gigs in the future.

 

 

Of course all this is planned and it's a trap to get you to do things you wouldn't do. Most of the time I either just walk out despite complaint or they stop calling me after that gig. If I confront them with evidence to show that it was intentional, they either blame me("you accepted the gig so it's your responsibility") or turn things around and call me out on my impunity("How dare could you bitch at me when I was the one who gave work to you!")

 

So this is a rare occasion where the other party is actually willing to admit they are at fault and looks like it was an honest mistake on their part.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...