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Learned a few things today. (NOT!)


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Went to a show in a park today and saw a few interesting things!

 

#1) If it looks good then it is. Shiney new stuff always sounds better. That silver 500 channel Beringer mixer has to be better then a 16 channel A&H.

 

#2) It's OK to use snake returns as speaker cables if you dont want your amps way over there on the stage.

 

#3) Crossovers are for pussys. Just run your "real" speaker cables from your returns on your snake to your tops and just jump right to your subs.

 

#4) If the stage is WET and it's raining then you should NOT wear shoes while performing.

 

#5) It's OK to mix FOH speakers, the more the merrier.

 

#6) You can run 6 monitors from 1 Yamaha powered head. Yamaha makes good {censored}.

 

#7) Those funny cables with the 3 prongs coming from the snake are a pain in the ass. Do what ever it takes to get them converted to 1/4" guitar cables.

 

Seriously, the ONLY thing that kept making sound were the American Audio powered speakers. Just goes to show how idiot proof powered speakers are...

 

:lol:

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Went to a show in a park today and saw a few interesting things!

:lol:

Lemme guess:

 

#8) 16ga. orange AC extension cord is fine... besides, that's what all the power conditioners are for... to ensure clean juice, but 10ga. speaker cable is the minimum gauge suitable to get good sound.

 

#9) Amp racks and patch panels are for pussies, just pile the amps up somewhere, strip-off the insulation on the speaker cables and wire up to the banana posts.

 

#10) More FX devices are better... especially sub harmonic synthesizers, gates, compressors, expanders, harmonizers and the like. If it has lots of lights, knobs, and switches, it must be somehow patched into the audio chain.

 

#11) Starting time is only a suggestion, but being on-time is really a social faux pas... it's much better to start tastefully late... because the later you start, the better it is due to the anticipation.

 

#12) Casual dress can be defined a lot of ways. Looking (and smelling) like you just got out of sleeping in a dumpster after a 3 day running drunk is casual chic.

 

#13) Feedback proves the system is turned up as far as it will go and you're delivering all the sound the customer is paying for. It's necessary to remind the audience and customer that it's LOUD via emissions of runaway feedback every 5 - 10 minutes.

 

#14) Cargo vehicles are for pussies. You can haul all the gear needed in a daily commuter car (although admittedly, it might take a lot of trips).

 

#15) RUNNING back and forth from the FOH mix position to the stage with a blind paniced/don't get in my way look on your face shows everyone you've got it under control.

 

#16) You can charge a whole lot less than those established fat-cat companies to do a show.

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#19) Gaffer tape is for pussies. Duct tape is better. If it wasn't better it wouldn't be so hard to remove, and wouldn't leave all that sticky stuff that attracts dirt and bar munge. Dirty gear shows you're serious and busy.

 

#20) Pro's wrap cables around their wrist and elbow. The tighter the better. If your orange extension cords don't look like they were snared in a trawler's lines, you're a {censored}.

 

#21) Grounded plugs are for pussies. First thing you do with new gear is snap off that stupid round lug. I don't know why my plugs don't go in both ways like my old stuff, but if I push hard enough, some of 'em do. That's the only way to stop a hum.

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Grounding is for drunk pilots and wimps. Real men know where their third prong is, and it ain't on the end of no orange extension cord! :mad:

 

Speakers sound their best when you use the largest amps possible. 2,000 watts into a 250-watt cabinet just means you're providing lots of extra headroom and avoiding that nasty underpowering that kills speakers. Don't worry - there's a grille on the front of the speaker cab to prevent the driver from leaving the cab.

 

Thousands of watts of power, electrical lines everywhere, cables lying every which way across the stage ... there's nothing here that can hurt anyone. Caution is for weenies.

 

If you drill a couple of holes in the tops of your speaker cabinets you can hang them from the ceiling with some rope. This looks cool and sounds even better. What could possibly go wrong?

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...


If you drill a couple of holes in the tops of your speaker cabinets you can hang them from the ceiling with some rope. This looks cool and sounds even better. What could possibly go wrong?

 

 

Why drill holes when you can just loop some old swingset chain through the plastic handles on the sides?

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Why drill holes when you can just loop some old swingset chain through the plastic handles on the sides?

 

 

Ohhhh you have no idea how many times I have seen this particular disaster waiting to happen in action. Let's upgrade up it to metal handles where you're just waiting for the handle to rip right out of the cabinet.

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You don't need an insert to patch comps or gates - just get some 1/4" to xlr adaptors, plug the mic line into the comp/gate (preferrably Behringer), set the threshold back to -40 and crank the output. See- it works :cool:... Oh, that hiss- thats the guitar players crappy pedal setup :)

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#22) yes you can plug the speaker output of your guitar amp into your mixing board channel. If that channel stops working, try the next one. If that channel stops working...

 

(believe it or not, a tech shop actually had a mixer in for repair from a guitar player who did this exact same thing)

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Another good tech repair story:

 

A customer brought in a stereo receiver complaining that one side didn't work.

 

The tech went over it and found nothing wrong. It was given back to the customer who soon returned with the same complaint.

 

Again, nothing wrong. So the tech asked the customer to come down and demonstrate how he set up the stereo.

 

The customer started turning knobs. "Well I like lots of bass, lots of treble, lots of balance..."

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Another good tech repair story:


A customer brought in a stereo receiver complaining that one side didn't work.


The tech went over it and found nothing wrong. It was given back to the customer who soon returned with the same complaint.


Again, nothing wrong. So the tech asked the customer to come down and demonstrate how he set up the stereo.


The customer started turning knobs. "Well I like lots of bass, lots of treble,
lots of balance
..."

 

OMG is that ever funny. :lol::lol::lol:

 

Al

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if i burly talk into the mic the soundguy will turn it up and 'fix it' to sound great. never mind the fact that he can hear audience members out in the crowd through the mic on stage louder than me, heck that thing scares me.

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