Members boosh Posted January 27, 2006 Members Share Posted January 27, 2006 hhhhhhhhhhhhahahahaha,....... I was just re-reading reviews of my music people posted on www.garageband.com about 6 years ago..... this one made me spit wine all over my keyboard : " Your music sounds like a fart in a packed elevator" posted by anonymous offcourse,........... Dang,.......... I gotta remember that one hahaha Okay,...... gimme the worst insults you've ever gotton about your music or the baddest remarks you had about someone else's... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gearmike Posted January 27, 2006 Members Share Posted January 27, 2006 Man, Last Saturday when I was picking up the rental truck for my move...the lady working the counter stepped outside to get the truck. Just as she was coming back, my brother let rip the biggest fart and then walked out of the office, leaving me standing there when the gal walked back in! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudolf von Hagenwil Posted January 28, 2006 Members Share Posted January 28, 2006 Originally posted by boosh "Your music sounds like a fart in a packed elevator" For me as a avantgarde composer, this would be a huge compliment. I can see the performance video already. Someting like: "Elevator Odeur" for tuba, and relaxed subcontrabass clarinet with odeur . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil O'Keefe Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 Originally posted by gearmike Man, Last Saturday when I was picking up the rental truck for my move...the lady working the counter stepped outside to get the truck. Just as she was coming back, my brother let rip the biggest fart and then walked out of the office, leaving me standing there when the gal walked back in! The only thing that would make that story funnier to me is if right as she walked in the room, the radio on her desk started playing Skynyrd's "That Smell". Your brother sounds a lot like both of mine Mike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members philbo Posted January 29, 2006 Members Share Posted January 29, 2006 'fart in an elevator' ? Been there, done that, that's why the elevator is an unpleasant place right now.... Worst comment ever heard on a performance:"Your singing sounded like someone was slowly killing a cat" Unfortunately for the audience, the comment was spot-on.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members where02190 Posted January 29, 2006 Members Share Posted January 29, 2006 Fart in an elevator, isn't that an Aerosmith song? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members D Charles Posted January 30, 2006 Members Share Posted January 30, 2006 So this AVon lady gets in an elevator all by herself and her taco lunch catches up with her. She lets go an enormous fart from hell and feeling embarrased, tries out some of her avon pine scented air freshner. When the elevator stops, a drunk steps in all stumbling and holding on to the walls. The Avon lady, feeling self concious tries to make conversation, " So what do you think of my latest Avon air freshner?" The drunk stumbles around, smelling the air and says, "Damn lady, it smells like someone just sh*t a christmas tree!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aliengroover Posted January 30, 2006 Members Share Posted January 30, 2006 Originally posted by boosh Okay,...... gimme the worst insults you've ever gotton about your music or the baddest remarks you had about someone else's... Hmm, never got any really bad ones. I guess the closest was a guy recently said that a song I did for someone sounded like general MIDI heaven, lol. The worse "air biscuit" situations are always when everybody thinks it's you, and you get those dirty eyed stares, haha.Peace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AudioMaverick Posted January 30, 2006 Members Share Posted January 30, 2006 This one band I made a demo for used a blood-curdling scream as a background thing. Since I was recording in a converted hallway, my neighbor heard it (about 9:30 at night). He called to see if everything was OK. Passing wind... My department (computer IT) went to an *authentic Mexican* resteraunt for lunch, some years back. Afterward, I was at my desk, and stood up. A gut-wrenching cramp hit me -- then, "Wha-a-a-a-a-a-a-ck!" The network engineer laughed so hard he couldn't see straight enough to work. About a half hour later, he came into the server room, where I was hiding out and working on the phone switch. He kicked me out, because of the smell. Something about corroding the circuit boards. It had a closed-loop cooling system. The smell lasted for hours. It was the periodic subject of humor for almost 2 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blackpig Posted January 30, 2006 Members Share Posted January 30, 2006 Years ago a venue owner told us teenage punky band types that "Jayzus lads yiz are awful loud". We took this as a compliment of the highest order. Someone else told us that we "were grand until we opened our mouths". Our uilleann piper farts so terribly he has to make his own way to gigs as none of us will travel in a car with him. He is a great repository of piping/farting double entendres like "time to squeeze the ould bellows" or "Jayzus the ould reed has a bit of a buzz to it tonight" (this one after a particularly fine rasper). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Base Posted January 30, 2006 Members Share Posted January 30, 2006 Originally posted by where02190 Fart in an elevator, isn't that an Aerosmith song? Beat me to it Fart in an elevator gassing it up, you're all going down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kiwiburger Posted January 30, 2006 Members Share Posted January 30, 2006 Workin' like a dog fo de boss manWorkin' for de companyI'm bettin' on the dice I'm tossin'I'm gonna have a fantasyBut where am I gonna look?They tell me that love is blindI really need a girl like an open bookto read between the lines Fart in an elevatorGassin' it up when I'm goin' downFart in an elevatorGassin' it up 'til I hit the ground Jacki's in the elevatorLingerie second floorShe said 'can I smell you laterAnd fart with you a little more?'I kinda hope we get stucknobody gets out aliveShe said I'll show ya how to fax in the mailroom honey and have you home by five Fart in an elevatorGassin' it up when I'm goin' downFart in an elevatorGassin' it up 'til I hit the ground In the air, in the air, honey one more time not it ain't fairFart in an elevatorGassin' it up when I'm goin' down Fart in anelevatorgoin' down Fart in an elevatorGassin' it up when I'm goin' downFart in an elevatorGassin' it up when I hit the ground Gonna be a penthouse pauperGonna be a millionaireI'm gonna be a real fast talkerand have me a fart affairGotta get my timin' rightIt's a test that I gotta passI'll chase you all the way to teh stairway honeyKiss your sassafras Fart in an elevatorGassin' it up when I'm goin' downFart in an elevatorGassin' it up 'til I hit the ground Do you care? Do you care?Honey one more time now it ain't fair.Fart in an elevatorGassin' it up when I'm goin' down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Counterpoint Posted January 30, 2006 Members Share Posted January 30, 2006 At the end of the work day, some years ago, I found myself alone in the elevator and very tempted to rip one. I thought the better of it and held it in. On one of the lower floors, the doors opened and a HOT HOT HOT babe got into the car. We exchanged pleasantries and ended up going out that Friday night. Since that day I have *NEVER* farted on an elevator. NEVER!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members boosh Posted January 30, 2006 Author Members Share Posted January 30, 2006 When I was about 10 me and my mum were in a huge shoppingmall when she let one burst out on the escalator.She grabbed me by the arm and with a loud voice she said "If you ever do that filthy stuff again I leave you at home,......." I can still feel all the people's eyes watching me,....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members where02190 Posted January 30, 2006 Members Share Posted January 30, 2006 Originally posted by Kiwiburger Workin' like a dog fo de boss man Workin' for de company I'm bettin' on the dice I'm tossin' I'm gonna have a fantasy But where am I gonna look? They tell me that love is blind I really need a girl like an open book to read between the lines Fart in an elevator Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down Fart in an elevator Gassin' it up 'til I hit the ground Jacki's in the elevator Lingerie second floor She said 'can I smell you later And fart with you a little more?' I kinda hope we get stuck nobody gets out alive She said I'll show ya how to fax in the mailroom honey and have you home by five Fart in an elevator Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down Fart in an elevator Gassin' it up 'til I hit the ground In the air, in the air, honey one more time not it ain't fair Fart in an elevator Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down Fart in an elevator goin' down Fart in an elevator Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down Fart in an elevator Gassin' it up when I hit the ground Gonna be a penthouse pauper Gonna be a millionaire I'm gonna be a real fast talker and have me a fart affair Gotta get my timin' right It's a test that I gotta pass I'll chase you all the way to teh stairway honey Kiss your sassafras Fart in an elevator Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down Fart in an elevator Gassin' it up 'til I hit the ground Do you care? Do you care? Honey one more time now it ain't fair. Fart in an elevator Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down You forgot the woahs and woah yeas!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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