Jump to content

fart in an elevator........


boosh

Recommended Posts

  • Members

hhhhhhhhhhhhahahahaha,.......

 

I was just re-reading reviews of my music people posted on www.garageband.com about 6 years ago.....

 

this one made me spit wine all over my keyboard :

 

" Your music sounds like a fart in a packed elevator" posted by anonymous offcourse,...........

 

Dang,.......... I gotta remember that one hahaha

 

 

Okay,...... gimme the worst insults you've ever gotton about your music or the baddest remarks you had about someone else's...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Man,

 

Last Saturday when I was picking up the rental truck for my move...the lady working the counter stepped outside to get the truck. Just as she was coming back, my brother let rip the biggest fart and then walked out of the office, leaving me standing there when the gal walked back in!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by gearmike

Man,


Last Saturday when I was picking up the rental truck for my move...the lady working the counter stepped outside to get the truck. Just as she was coming back, my brother let rip the biggest fart and then walked out of the office, leaving me standing there when the gal walked back in!

 

The only thing that would make that story funnier to me is if right as she walked in the room, the radio on her desk started playing Skynyrd's "That Smell". ;):D

 

Your brother sounds a lot like both of mine Mike. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

'fart in an elevator' ? Been there, done that, that's why the elevator is an unpleasant place right now....

 

Worst comment ever heard on a performance:

"Your singing sounded like someone was slowly killing a cat"

 

Unfortunately for the audience, the comment was spot-on....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

So this AVon lady gets in an elevator all by herself and her taco lunch catches up with her. She lets go an enormous fart from hell and feeling embarrased, tries out some of her avon pine scented air freshner.

 

When the elevator stops, a drunk steps in all stumbling and holding on to the walls. The Avon lady, feeling self concious tries to make conversation, " So what do you think of my latest Avon air freshner?"

 

The drunk stumbles around, smelling the air and says, "Damn lady, it smells like someone just sh*t a christmas tree!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

Originally posted by boosh


Okay,...... gimme the worst insults you've ever gotton about your music or the baddest remarks you had about someone else's...

 

 

Hmm, never got any really bad ones. I guess the closest was a guy recently said that a song I did for someone sounded like general MIDI heaven, lol.

 

The worse "air biscuit" situations are always when everybody thinks it's you, and you get those dirty eyed stares, haha.

Peace

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

This one band I made a demo for used a blood-curdling scream as a background thing. Since I was recording in a converted hallway, my neighbor heard it (about 9:30 at night). He called to see if everything was OK.

 

Passing wind... My department (computer IT) went to an *authentic Mexican* resteraunt for lunch, some years back. Afterward, I was at my desk, and stood up. A gut-wrenching cramp hit me -- then, "Wha-a-a-a-a-a-a-ck!" The network engineer laughed so hard he couldn't see straight enough to work. About a half hour later, he came into the server room, where I was hiding out and working on the phone switch. He kicked me out, because of the smell. Something about corroding the circuit boards. It had a closed-loop cooling system. The smell lasted for hours. It was the periodic subject of humor for almost 2 years.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Years ago a venue owner told us teenage punky band types that "Jayzus lads yiz are awful loud". We took this as a compliment of the highest order. Someone else told us that we "were grand until we opened our mouths".

 

Our uilleann piper farts so terribly he has to make his own way to gigs as none of us will travel in a car with him. He is a great repository of piping/farting double entendres like "time to squeeze the ould bellows" or "Jayzus the ould reed has a bit of a buzz to it tonight" (this one after a particularly fine rasper).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Workin' like a dog fo de boss man

Workin' for de company

I'm bettin' on the dice I'm tossin'

I'm gonna have a fantasy

But where am I gonna look?

They tell me that love is blind

I really need a girl like an open book

to read between the lines

 

Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down

Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up 'til I hit the ground

 

Jacki's in the elevator

Lingerie second floor

She said 'can I smell you later

And fart with you a little more?'

I kinda hope we get stuck

nobody gets out alive

She said I'll show ya how to fax in the mailroom honey

and have you home by five

 

Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down

Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up 'til I hit the ground

 

In the air, in the air, honey one more time not it ain't fair

Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down

 

Fart in an

elevator

goin' down

 

Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down

Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up when I hit the ground

 

Gonna be a penthouse pauper

Gonna be a millionaire

I'm gonna be a real fast talker

and have me a fart affair

Gotta get my timin' right

It's a test that I gotta pass

I'll chase you all the way to teh stairway honey

Kiss your sassafras

 

Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down

Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up 'til I hit the ground

 

Do you care? Do you care?

Honey one more time now it ain't fair.

Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

At the end of the work day, some years ago, I found myself alone in the elevator and very tempted to rip one. I thought the better of it and held it in. On one of the lower floors, the doors opened and a HOT HOT HOT babe got into the car. We exchanged pleasantries and ended up going out that Friday night. Since that day I have *NEVER* farted on an elevator.

 

NEVER!!!!

 

;)

 

:thu:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

When I was about 10 me and my mum were in a huge shoppingmall when she let one burst out on the escalator.

She grabbed me by the arm and with a loud voice she said "If you ever do that filthy stuff again I leave you at home,......."

 

I can still feel all the people's eyes watching me,.......

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Originally posted by Kiwiburger

Workin' like a dog fo de boss man

Workin' for de company

I'm bettin' on the dice I'm tossin'

I'm gonna have a fantasy

But where am I gonna look?

They tell me that love is blind

I really need a girl like an open book

to read between the lines


Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down

Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up 'til I hit the ground


Jacki's in the elevator

Lingerie second floor

She said 'can I smell you later

And fart with you a little more?'

I kinda hope we get stuck

nobody gets out alive

She said I'll show ya how to fax in the mailroom honey

and have you home by five


Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down

Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up 'til I hit the ground


In the air, in the air, honey one more time not it ain't fair

Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down


Fart in an

elevator

goin' down


Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down

Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up when I hit the ground


Gonna be a penthouse pauper

Gonna be a millionaire

I'm gonna be a real fast talker

and have me a fart affair

Gotta get my timin' right

It's a test that I gotta pass

I'll chase you all the way to teh stairway honey

Kiss your sassafras


Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down

Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up 'til I hit the ground


Do you care? Do you care?

Honey one more time now it ain't fair.

Fart in an elevator

Gassin' it up when I'm goin' down

 

You forgot the woahs and woah yeas!!!!

 

:D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...