OT - Spousal disputes . . . OVER FOOD!!!!!

[shniggens]

Man, I love my wife more than anything in the world, and we rarely, if ever, get into arguments. Well, SERIOUS arguments anyway. You know the kind of arguments that heat up in front of other people, and embarrass everyone around?

 

But one thing that always gets us going is our differing views on culinary appreciation.

 

You see, I am the type of person that celebrates eating. I eat as a hobby (as healthy as I can). And I eat EVERYTHING. I am extremely adventurous, and enjoy a huge variety of food. I prefer the more nutritious culinary fare, such as asian, middle eastern, and Italian, but will still eat just about anything.

 

My wife, on the other hand, is an all-American girl, and is extremely timid, and STUBBORN when it comes to eating things that she has never tried before. Yeah, that's right, she's just like a little kid. But even more stubborn. She's not as concerned with nutritional value, she's so naturally thin, she never thinks of things like that. She likes food she is comfortable with. Food that has an acceptable texture, and appearance. Comfort food. She's different from me in that she eats more for survival than recreation.

 

And it drives both of us crazy!!!

 

Anyone else have differing consumption views than their spouse? How do you deal with it?

 

[wooden]

eating is your only difference with your wife, and she's naturally thin??? you are a lucky man!

[Ryst]

Originally posted by shniggens Man, I love my wife more than anything in the world, and we rarely, if ever, get into arguments. Well, SERIOUS arguments anyway. You know the kind of arguments that heat up in front of other people, and embarrass everyone around? But one thing that always gets us going is our differing views on culinary appreciation. You see, I am the type of person that celebrates eating. I eat as a hobby (as healthy as I can). And I eat EVERYTHING. I am extremely adventurous, and enjoy a huge variety of food. I prefer the more nutritious culinary fare, such as asian, middle eastern, and Italian, but will still eat just about anything. My wife, on the other hand, is an all-American girl, and is extremely timid, and STUBBORN when it comes to eating things that she has never tried before. Yeah, that's right, she's just like a little kid. But even more stubborn. She's not as concerned with nutritional value, she's so naturally thin, she never thinks of things like that. She likes food she is comfortable with. Food that has an acceptable texture, and appearance. Comfort food. She's different from me in that she eats more for survival than recreation. And it drives both of us crazy!!! Anyone else have differing consumption views than their spouse? How do you deal with it?

 

 

You have to send her to a thrid world country for a little bit and see if she changes her mind about food.

 

My wife is from Venezuela and although she has a large interest in a variety of foods, the only thing i get on her about is stuff she buys that is cheap but not good for you. We both are health nuts but sometimes she would rather buy something cheap to save money regardless of what's in it. For instance, she bought Kraft fat free cheese....a whole {censored}load of it....I was like "What are you doing"??? I tasted it just to see what it would taste like and sure enough I almost vomited. It's not even cheese! If she really liked it I would be upset but she only buys it to save money and I have to remind her that her health is worth more than that.

[Lee Knight]

Not meaning to get all "Dr. Phil" on you, but is that only area where you guys share this polar opposite opinion kind of thing?

 

Movies?

Books?

Music?

 

I sounds more like a dissagreement over,

 

Husband: "You're too safe"

 

Wife: "Well, you're too wild, you just like it 'cause it's wierd".

[shniggens]

 

Originally posted by Lee Knight Not meaning to get all "Dr. Phil" on you, but is that only area where you guys share this polar opposite opinion kind of thing?

 

 

Yes.

[PBBPaul]

My wife and I have similar attitudes about food. I do about 95% of the cooking and it gets a bit frustrating sometimes trying to come up with interesting meals that my wife will actually enjoy.

 

For instance, her "won't eat list" includes:

 

Onions or peppers (of any kind)

Anything resembling a cassarole or stew

Any cheese other than American (blechh!)

Tomatoes

Mushrooms

Anything with either cream cheese or sour cream in it

Olives of any kind

Cucumbers (including pickles)

Beans (of any kind)

Any vegetable other than corn, carrots or peas

 

To her credit, she is much more open-minded than when we first met. She now eats lamb, food with spices (as long as she can't actually see them) and sauces with a tomato base.

 

I take a positive angle on the issue and look at it as a challenge to keep adding meals that we both enjoy to our family menu. It's fun trying out new flavors while hiding the things she says she doesn't like (hope she doesn't read this ).

[shniggens]

Originally posted by PBBPaul I do about 95% of the cooking

 

Me too! Well, it's really 100% if we are talking about food that actually has to be prepared from scratch.

 

Won't eat list - Anything resembling a cassarole or stew

 

If she's anything like my wife, this precedent is set by appearance over taste. And that drives me bonkers.

 

Tomatoes

 

Unless in Ketchup form.

 

Olives of any kind

 

Yup, because olives are just so exotic.

 

Cucumbers (including pickles) Beans (of any kind)

 

Those are actually two things she probably CAN'T live without, so thanks for putting some perspective on the situation.

 

 

To her credit, she is much more open-minded than when we first met. She now eats lamb, food with spices (as long as she can't actually see them) and sauces with a tomato base.

 

Yeah, my wife has been getting better. Primarily just to entertain me, and get me to STFU. So I should give her some credit, too.

 

[Addix Metzatricity]

If you're seriously looking for some input, I'd say find an equally adventurous buddy and go eat out with him/her so you can quench your wild tastes. Then when you go out with your wife for meatloaf, it won't be such a big deal.

[shniggens]

Originally posted by Addix Metzatricity =. Then when you go out with your wife for meatloaf, it won't be such a big deal.

 

That's funny, she was craving meatloaf last night.

[PBBPaul]

My wife won't eat meatloaf either. Which kills me since she loves a good burger.

[Ani]

This thread reminded me of my first marriage to a man that would ONLY eat hamburger and pork chops. (bleh) He would eat hamburger in any recipe that you could find to make it, but he would not eat beef in other forms such as steak, roast beef, ribs, and etc. He refused to eat chicken, turkey, and fish or seafood of any kind. Me, I'm quite the opposite, I love trying new cuisines of all types and seafood is to die for. Seafood and fish are my meat of choice whenever I eat meats.

 

One incident that I distinctly recall came after having visited his parents in Iowa and watching him eat a T-bone steak at a cookout they hosted; it caused serious problems in our marriage. In thinking that he "liked it" after observing him wolf down the steak his mother prepared and hearing him tell her how delicious it was; I decided to prepare a romantic candlelight dinner one evening a few months down the road while serving something that I thought we both might enjoy. I was sick to death of hamburger and I didn't really care for the lack of nutricious value in pork or hamburger either one. We had a formal dining area in our home and a banquet style dining room suite. I had the lights out with two candlabras lighting the room when I called him for dinner.

 

When he came into the dining area, he immediately blew out the candles and turned on the lights saying, "I like to SEE what I'M eating." Then when he saw that I had prepared T-bone steak, he immediately took his whole forearm and swiped the entire table setting, food and all, into the floor while screaming, "You KNOW I hate steak, why did you fix it for me!!!" After smacking me around a bit, he demanded that I get in the kitchen and fix him some REAL food. Not a memory I choose to remember voluntarily, but one that is triggered by topics such as this one.

 

One of the many reasons the man is a EX!!!

 

To this day, I have problems when I meet a man and learn that he is a finicky eater in the early stages of dating. I'll back away and not even give a guy a chance if he's not open to at least trying new eating experiences.

[shniggens]

Originally posted by Ani When he came into the dining area, he immediately blew out the candles and turned on the lights saying, "I like to SEE what I'M eating." Then when I saw that I had prepared T-bone steak, he immediately took his whole forearm and swiped the entire table setting, food and all, into the floor while screaming, "You KNOW I hate steak, why did you fix it for me!!!" After smacking me around a bit, he demanded that I get in the kitchen and fix him some REAL food. Not a memory I choose to remember voluntarily, but one that is triggered by topics such as this one.

 

Holy {censored}!!!

 

Sorry for stoking that memory.

 

While my wife is picky, she's not violently so. She's too sweet to get violent.

[Ani]

No worries, I've long since laid those memories to rest and they don't really hurt me when they are triggered anymore. I don't dwell on things like that, but unfortunately, they are a part of my past and at times I do revisit them after a conversation stirs the memory.

 

Some words that I wrote in a song one time:

 

People will remind you

and places will find you

Things that you do will bring it back

 

Memories will haunt you

and faces will taunt you

You can run but you can't hide when they attack

 

Hard core memories

Caused by a memory

Too late to change it now

Can't change it anyhow

We learn as we live until we die

 

.......

 

I never got past the emotions enough to finish the song back when I was writing it. I buried the memories instead. Now that I've had a LOT of LIFE happen to me since those days of youth; those memories seem minut` compared to some of those I have suffered since. Not much in the line of physical violence .... but things that will rape your soul and drag you through hell and back.

[seclusion]

Hey man, I don't think I've ever heard a chick biotch when I've done the cooking! Just keep cooking, she'll get hungry eventually.

Later

[Ernest Buckley]

If thats your main difference, good for you!

 

Sorry I can not relate. My wife and I enjoy the same foods but for some reason I gain weight while she looks the same. Amazing.

 

I don`t know what to tell you. You`re wife doesn`t know whats shes missing basically. So many flavors out there...

 

Is this something you just discovered?

[Lee Knight]

Originally posted by Ernest Buckley You`re wife doesn`t know whats shes missing basically. So many flavors out there...

 

That quote triggered a thought. Contrary to common belief, people can change. Little steps.

 

From chicken and egg noodles and butter to

chicken and rice to...

Teriaki chicken and rice to...

Teriaki chicken and rice with pan toasted cashews to...

Kung Poa Chicken no heat to...

Chicken in Oyster Sauce on a bed of couscus and wilted greens to...

[MoreGuitars]

Well, my wife is French, born in Paris. But I cook 98% of the time.

She is very finicky, and won't eat many things. Meat has to be burned, which is frustrating. About the only meat she will eat is pork or chicken.

 

But, she likes entertaining, sets a beautiful table and does the dishes, which ain't all bad..

 

I love to cook and find it very relaxing. My day job is a chemist, so there is some similarities.

[shniggens]

Originally posted by MoreGuitars My day job is a chemist, so there is some similarities.

 

Hell yeah, home made CHEETOS!!!!!

[Ani]

Hey guys,

 

Sorry for the heavy heart in my earlier posts; I've just been going through some really tough times lately and they have nothing to do with romance, intimate relationships, or work. I wrote the posts on impulse rather than reading and then coming back to them later after some thought had been put into what I was writing, or just vacating the thread without a reply as I've been doing for the most part during more recent times.

 

I agree with what Lee Knight had to say about gradually transforming bad eating habits into healthy eating habits; much of it is mindset and the will power to endure more so than having to sacrifice something you love to maintain healthy eating habits.

[blackpig]

Travel is a great way to broaden the horizons. Mrs. BP and I go out on a foreign holiday every year and we come back full of ideas and notions about the food we eat. If, for example, you eat pasta with tomato sauce in Italy you will never eat sauce out of a jar again. It's cheaper and healthier to make yer own and yer kitchen will smell like a Mediterranean holiday. We eat a lot of healthy homemade stuff but our diet does go slightly downhill when Ould Blackpig (the Da) comes to visit - he's nearly 90 and everything has to be cooked to destruction and served with potatoes - always {censored}ing potatoes. I do most of the cooking but Mrs. BP is a fine hand when it comes to stuff like pavlovas and ice cream. The only area we don't agree is when it comes to spicy food - I am firmly of the belief that a good curry should take the soles of yer shoes off. Herself won't eat squid either - "it's all horrible and squidgy."

 

Fine. All the more for me. I think I'll make squid curry tonight...

 

 

[shniggens]

Originally posted by blackpig Travel is a great way to broaden the horizons.

 

So what kind of horizons will be broadened during our trip to Ireland this spring?

[jcschild]

Originally posted by PBBPaul My wife and I have similar attitudes about food. I do about 95% of the cooking and it gets a bit frustrating sometimes trying to come up with interesting meals that my wife will actually enjoy. For instance, her "won't eat list" includes: Onions or peppers (of any kind) Anything resembling a cassarole or stew Any cheese other than American (blechh!) Tomatoes Mushrooms Anything with either cream cheese or sour cream in it Olives of any kind Cucumbers (including pickles) Beans (of any kind) Any vegetable other than corn, carrots or peas To her credit, she is much more open-minded than when we first met. She now eats lamb, food with spices (as long as she can't actually see them) and sauces with a tomato base. I take a positive angle on the issue and look at it as a challenge to keep adding meals that we both enjoy to our family menu. It's fun trying out new flavors while hiding the things she says she doesn't like (hope she doesn't read this ).

 

man and to think i call my wife a hillbilly.

(raised in KY)

 

you got it bad Paul.

 

i am from NY and Italian, she from KY and a country mix.

 

when we first got married the food thing was a pretty big issue.

but not as bad as you have it.

 

my wife is/was

1) tight (name brand was unheard of in our pantry)

her idea of steak was a very well done flank steak (8oz for 2 people) i eat mine rare.

the first time i bought a 24oz porterhouse just for me she about passed out in the store. i wont tell you about the king crab legs

 

 

she wont eat Lamb (had a pet lamb when she was younger) veal is out (yup you guessed it had a pet cow too.) funny she eats beef.

 

she breaks spagetti (finally learned to twirl)

buys premade garlic bread yuk... (not anymore usually)

 

Thai, Korean, etc is out but typical Chineese buffet is ok.

 

spices especially anything with warmth was an issue.

 

her idea of of eating out was taco bell and a fancy dinner out was applebee's.

 

5 yrs later i got her eating her beef medium

her reciepes have greatly expanded and she eats most of my cooking. (and prefers i cook, dang it)

loves spices

but still no lamb or veal. and when her family was here for dinner not long ago she broke the dang spagetti again.

 

shes still tight and i have to remind here to get name brand stuff

for some things.

it could be worse, she could have come from a rich family and been spoiled.

 

about the only thing she minds spending money on is make-up.

not a bad problem to have a tight wife

 

Scott

ADK

[shniggens]

 

Originally posted by jcschild it could be worse, she could have come from a rich family and been spoiled.

 

 

Yeah, I think about that alot, too.

 

She could be one of those chicks that needs to have sushi every day for lunch, just because.

[2manband]

My girlfriend and I both like to cook, and we're both pretty good at it. We're both generally open to trying new stuff, and will eat just about anything (except no shellfish for me - allergic). Our long standing agreement has been that if the other person is willing to put the time and effort into cooking a meal, the other person needs to respect their "artistic vision." I pull the steak off the grill when I think it's ready. (medium or med/rare for me) She can nuke hers for a few seconds to make sure it's grey all the way through (yuck). I'm not a huge fan of mushrooms, so if she makes a dish that includes a lot of them, I eat around them. etc.

 

If that fails, I can still remember my mom's approch - If we didn't like what was for dinner, we could always go make a peanut butter sandwich.

[blackpig]

 

Originally posted by shniggens So what kind of horizons will be broadened during our trip to Ireland this spring?

 

 

In our little home town we have two Indian places, an Italian restaurant, several Chinese and one Thai. Not bad for a town this size. Dublin has more good eateries than you can shake a breadstick at:

 

http://www.maths.tcd.ie/lat05/restaurants.php