The Official Russian Brides Thread...

[rasputin1963]

(Spinoff of the firecracker/penis story).

 

I just have a funny story to tell:

 

 

My friend, let's call him "Wolf", is about 53 and a heroin addict. He looks like death walking, in stained white t-shirt, long yellow 70's biker hair, big belly and red bandanna headband, but, y'know, I kinda love the guy, 'cause he is full of great stories and tells them well.

 

Anyway, his passion is perusing the Russian Brides websites and communicating via mail and email with these girls.

 

As you probably know, some of these girls are just incredibly stunningly beautiful. (If one believes they are real, and not part of a scam. I actually believe many of these girls are exactly who and what they say they are.)

 

Anyway, I read some of Wolf's email come-on's to these little chicks. The guy, with his smack-ravaged brain, has NO subtlety, and a very dirty mind. He would say things to his intended target, apropos-de-rien, like, "You can bet, if you come to the States, you will never lack for daily oral sex. I will l*** your c*** every day of the week."

 

So he had me play Cyrano de Bergerac on his behalf. I would write these girls beautiful lovey-dovey emails, still erotic, but couched in more subtlety, and he'd reap their cyber-devotion.

 

One blonde stunner snailmailed him some hardcopy photos of herself in a bikini. Truly she was a world-class beauty. Posing nearly nude next to this Russian statue and that one.

 

She actually gave us her phone number in Lyugorybsiphelekstikov*. We accidentally telephoned her at (her version of) 5:00am. We woke her (and her mother and her toddler son) up in their two-room flat. One could hear them squawking and chirping in the background.

 

She could only say: "Sorry, no English! No speak." But we kept chattering to her in American.

 

Her voice certainly matched the photos. She seemed very sweet, in spite of our inability to really communicate.

 

I turned to Wolf and said: "Dude, this girl is for real. THIS is the girl you want to fly over to Texas to be your new bride. Save up all your Disability checks and buy her a plane ticket."

 

I saw Wolf a week later and asked him about progress with this filly. "Aw, she's just a c***." came his reply. And he'd moved on to the next sheet of Russian girls to harass with his cyber-dirty talk.

 

Have you any stories about these Russian Brides organizations... Either favorable or unfavorable, legitimate or chicanery?

 

 

*Not a real city. But hers contained as many syllables.

[Gus Lozada]

[Etienne Rambert]

Don't know much about Russian brides. I know a little about the Love Slaves of the CCP!

 

 

They are infiltrating America in large numbers.

 

They come on lingerie model visas. But I understand

that since Hillary has become Secretary of State,

all visas for lingerie models have been canceled.

[rasputin1963]

 

 

Okay, Gus, take a gander at these nubile comrades (below). Any of them pull your trigger? I'd offer to play Cyrano for you as well, but I suspect you know just the right words to say...

[Beck]

I would be more inclined to help these girls get out of their situations, reunite them with family and community rather than take advantage of their situations and throw them to the wolves.

 

I have a feeling life didn

[temnov]

 

I would be more inclined to help these girls get out of their situations, reunite them with family and community rather than take advantage of their situations and throw them to the wolves.   I have a feeling life didn