Members Anderton Posted September 8, 2013 Members Share Posted September 8, 2013 Here's why...I've posted my last couple songs on YouTube and asked y'all for comments, and because of those comments, made changes to the song that were highly beneficial. I then reposted the song.Well, now I have a new song - a cover version/remake of Alice Cooper's hit from 1989, "Poison." I wanted to do a dance version that retained a rock edge. But this time, I want to get your comments before the posting the video. Here's a download link from Hightail.com (formerly YouSendIt) where you can download an MP3 until September 15th:https://www.hightail.com/download/OGhmaXRGT010QTM0WjlVagLemme know what you think!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nat whilk II Posted September 9, 2013 Members Share Posted September 9, 2013 Anderton wrote: Here's why...I've posted my last couple songs on YouTube and asked y'all for comments, and because of those comments, made changes to the song that were highly beneficial. I then reposted the song. Well, now I have a new song - a cover version/remake of Alice Cooper's hit from 1989, "Poison." I wanted to do a dance version that retained a rock edge. But this time, I want to get your comments before the posting the video. Here's a download link from Hightail.com (formerly YouSendIt) where you can download an MP3 until September 15th: https://www.hightail.com/download/OGhmaXRGT010QTM0WjlVag Lemme know what you think!!! quick thoughts as I listen through: at 40 sec in where you say the word poison for the first time, I feel like there needs to be some auditory highlighting of that very word to cue the listener to the fact that it's a bad, powerful, scary thing and not just an old metaphor. What kind of highlighting? Not that these are the best ideas specifically, but something along the lines of a high synth stab or swoop or an echo or a big tom flam - you get the idea. And then maybe a mini-breakdown right there. So you sing "poison" the first time and the little breakdown lasts during this >>"poison,3,4,1,2,3,your" and then on "lips" you kick back in with a higher intensity section (more perc, more pounding on the beat, maybe doubletime a shaker or something) that lasts until where you already take it down again right after the last "poison" around 60 sec in. so the track stair steps in intensity - ground floor on the little intro, first step up for the first verse, then sort of a half-step down for the short breakdown, then up to the third step for the more intense "poison" refrain, and then back down to the first step up for another verse. I feel that hold interest a bit more, bring out the mood of the lyrics a bit more. You do ratchet up the intensity later in the song - which is good. The song makes it's point a lot better in the intense parts further in. I just think you oughta make it more balls-out from early on to grab the listener right away. The gradual method of building the passion might lose a lot of listeners before it gets to the good stuff...this aint no time for too much subtlety - it's poison!! Other than that, I'd like the vocal to be less forward, have it sunk down int he mix, more like you're yelling desperately in a storm than singing on top of a backing track. I like that bass, particularly during the guitar solo. If this makes no sense, then never mind as the SNL old lady would say. nat whilk ii Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Anderton Posted September 9, 2013 Author Members Share Posted September 9, 2013 Actually...those are the kind of comments I'm looking for, and the detail shows that you've really thought about it. What's more, your comments kind of apply to songs in general as despite the specificity, there's also a certain philosophical bent on how you build a song from a general standpoint. Very helpful. I'm starting to wonder if this "comment by committee" thing might be something that, while not a replacement for sitting around a mix with a bunch of buddies and moving faders, has its own merit because anyone from anywhere can comment any time. And, I get to access people whose opinions I respect. I'm not sure I agree about the vocal level because on my last song, everyone said "bring up the vocals more." We'll see what others think. Being objective about vocals is not easy so it's much easier just to let you guys tell me what to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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