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Time Will Tell

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  • Time Will Tell

    Wrote this over the last couple days. Have a melody in my head. Just need to work out, refine and record. Some places sing a little "stumbly" but that usually works itself out when I start recording and singing it out loud. Let me know what you think-

    Time Will Tell

    Randall was a good man
    Lived out on the coast
    All he wanted from his life
    Was a chance to be the most

    Part time at the Circle K
    Making coffee overnights
    Spent his time inside his head
    Waiting for morning light

    He dreamed of all the places
    He had seen on his TV
    The whole world seemed so far away
    And this ain't living free

    The last piece to his puzzle
    Was someone to walk beside
    Someone he could call his own
    Someone to run and hide

    No one ever notices
    When time is standing still
    Dare to take that leap of faith
    Rekon they never will

    Only time will tell
    If any dreams come true
    I'll just hold on to the one
    Made for me and you


    Lisa was a wild one
    Hitch hiked to the coast
    Shoes and shirt upon her back
    And belief in the Holy Ghost

    A Midwest farmers daughter
    She never had to try
    Blue streak in her bleach blond hair
    Deep green summer eyes

    She knew she was a actress
    Just needed her big break
    Work like hell to earn her keep
    The rest she'll just take

    The only thing was missing
    Is someone to hold her tight
    Someone to whisper in her ear
    "Everything will be alright."

    No one ever notices
    When time is standing still
    Dare to take that leap of faith
    Rekon they never will

    Only time will tell
    If any dreams come true
    I'll just hold on to the one
    Made for me and you

    She came in through the front door
    Bell announced her time
    Smiled at Randall sitting there
    Headed for a box of wine

    Wine up on the counter
    Menthols from display
    Swipes her card, smiles again
    "Hope you have a nice day."

    No one ever notices
    When time is standing still
    Dare to take that leap of faith
    Maybe they never will

    Only time will tell
    If any dreams come true
    I'll just hold on to the one
    Made for me and you


    Randall grins and shakes his head
    Afraid to face his fears
    Another glance up at the clock
    Lisa just disappears




    Last edited by tony333; 11-27-2018, 04:21 AM.

  • #2
    So edit done. I think I got all the bugs and fat out. The "work like hell..." line is a little weak IMO. But the rest I really like. Sings well to with the melody in my head. Simple chord progression. Hope to get recorded after the holidays, if the world doesn't explode before then.

    Randall is a good man
    Lives out on the coast
    All he's wanted from his life
    Is a chance to be the most

    But it's part time at the Circle K
    Making coffee overnights
    Spends his time inside his head
    Waiting on morning light

    He dreams of all the places
    He has seen on his TV
    Whole world seems so far away
    And this ain't living free

    The last piece to his puzzle
    Would be someone to walk beside
    Someone he could call his own
    Someone to run and hide

    No one ever notices
    When time is standing still
    Dare to take that leap of faith
    Maybe they never will

    Only time will tell
    If any dreams come true
    I'll just hold on to the one
    Made for me and you


    Lisa is a wild one
    Hitch hiked to the coast
    Shoes and shirt upon her back
    And belief in the Holy Ghost

    A Midwest farmers daughter
    She never had to try
    Blue streak in her bleach blond hair
    Deep green summer eyes
    ​​​​​​
    ​​​Sure she should be famous
    Just needs her one big break
    Yearns to see her name in lights
    No matter what it takes

    The only thing she's missing
    Is someone to hold her tight
    Someone to whisper in her ear
    "Everything will be alright."

    No one ever notices
    When time is standing still
    Dare to take that leap of faith
    Maybe they never will

    Only time will tell
    If any dreams come true
    I'll just hold on to the one
    Made for me and you

    She came in through the front door
    Bell cut through the time
    Smiled at Randall sitting there
    Headed for a box of wine

    Wine up on the counter
    Menthols from display
    Swipes her card, smiles again
    "Hope you have a nice day."

    No one ever notices
    When time is standing still
    Dare to take that leap of faith
    Maybe they never will

    Only time will tell
    If any dreams come true
    I'll just hold on to the one
    Made for me and you


    Randall grins and shakes his head
    Afraid to face his fears
    Another glance up at the clock
    Lisa just disappears
    Last edited by tony333; 02-03-2019, 05:48 PM.

    Comment


    • #3
      I like what you've started a lot - very "Donald and Lydia" - but it seems unfinished.

      How many rewrites have you done so far? It usually takes me a few dozen passes to get to where a song starts to sound finished.

      My first drafts get down the basic idea and take about ten minutes to write. Then I go work on them, and that takes a lot more time and thought. I don't aim at Good - that's for others to decide. I aim at Done - that's for me to decide.

      I had a teacher who studied writing under Raymond Carver at the Iowa Writers Workshop. When a student had something good going that wasn't quite fthere, Carver would say "Run it through the typewriter one more time."
      Del
      www.thefullertons.net
      ( •)—:::
      Sent on my six-string jumbo ukelele

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you for the feedback. This is the 3rd or 4th stab at this one. Once I start singing it I am sure there are some phrasings or words that will have to change.

        I am not sure about "unfinished". I feel like if I were to another verse or a few more lines, it would take it to a place that becomes to lengthy and wordy. I like the "story" as it is.

        I know my "process" isn't normal but I always start with the words and then fit the melody around them. I also have never sat down to write a song. They kinda come from this unknown place and I just ride the wave. I have tried before but they always get scrapped and sound forced. Good thing I have a day job. Ha!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by tony333 View Post
          Thank you for the feedback. This is the 3rd or 4th stab at this one. Once I start singing it I am sure there are some phrasings or words that will have to change. . . .
          That's exactly how I do it. Play it, fix something, play it, fix something . . . .
          Del
          www.thefullertons.net
          ( •)—:::
          Sent on my six-string jumbo ukelele

          Comment


          • #6
            So I have gotten to where I think it should be. I really like it. If I can ever get everyone out of the house I will get it recorded

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by tony333 View Post
              . . . If I can ever get everyone out of the house I will get it recorded
              That's ALWAYS the problem!

              Del
              www.thefullertons.net
              ( •)—:::
              Sent on my six-string jumbo ukelele

              Comment

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