Members Irwin abrigo Posted September 12, 2016 Members Share Posted September 12, 2016 Hi everyone, This is a song I wrote from way back when I was a teenager and over time I did rewrite on rewrite And I must say that I am kinda please of where this song is right now, So I am asking you guys for your feedback. overall. Oh.... I am not good with playing chords as yet this is just the track and me singing.http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=495672&songID=13442433 College Girl©2016 Irwin Abrigo (Verse 1)I’m in love with a college girlThere’s no other like her in this world If she loves me I don’t knowI would like her to tell me soI’ve got joy when I go to sleepCause she’s the only girl I will seeI’ll never do her any wrongIf she loves me back so strong-oh (Chorus)College girl please don’t let me downCollege girl oh baby girl I need you so muchCollege girl I’ll never bring you down to the groundCollege girl you don’t know how much I need your touchCollege girl let us beLet us be (2nd Verse)Been looking at you for so long There is always one thing on my mindIs that one thing that you may sayYou’ll say to me I’m not your kindI don’t want you to think that wayBecause my love for you is trueI know another College school boy Could be looking at you too-oh (Chorus) (Bridge)When we graduate from college into UniversityI’ll be at your side and together we will beTogether forever, forever together you and me But that wouldn’t be a realityUntil you say you’re in love with meCollege girl I love you soI love more than you never know (Chorus) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Delmont Posted September 28, 2016 Members Share Posted September 28, 2016 Welcome, Irwin, good start! Some questions: - The "I'm not your kind" line just drops in and then disappears. If it were my song I'd either get rid of it or develop it more, maybe in the chorus. - It sounds like the singer and the college girl know each other, but I can't tell whether she knows that the singer is in love with her. You might want to give us a clearer idea of the state of their relationship. - I don't know anything about Guyana schools. Here in the US, graduating from a college is the same as graduating from a university. A university here is just a big group of colleges under one administration. So we don't go FROM college TO a university. We just graduate from one or the other. So to an American hearing the song, that part wouldn't make sense. Is it different in Guyana? Delhttp://www.thefullertons.net( •)—::: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Irwin abrigo Posted October 2, 2016 Author Members Share Posted October 2, 2016 Hi Delmont,I appreciate you giving your input about my song. I will consider changing that line "I'm not your kind" and In Guyana we graduate from a college then we go to the university of which then we will be graduating from again. Thanks for asking. Irwin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Delmont Posted October 2, 2016 Members Share Posted October 2, 2016 You're welcome! Yes, I'd either change it or tell more to give listeners a better idea of what it means. The line by itself leaves me hanging, wondering where you're going with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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