Members bee3 Posted March 9, 2012 Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 OK, probably going to regret this when I wake up... but here is a really rough version of the song. I don't have an ending yet vocally... I haven't really done any editing yet and these are the scratch vocals. Note: This is part of my planned concept album that features prominently the major 7th chord and songs that don't quite reach 100 BPM. http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11493939 Too much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted March 9, 2012 Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 Nah - you won't regret it when you wake up - because it's terrific.I'm a sucker for a couple of chords of lingering organ sustain while a piano cascades its desultory melody across the wash of harmonies. (Yep - I think that's what you've done). Most of the lyric is pretty good too - there were a couple of places that I thought might be improved, and I'll put my mind to it later and post again.But really nice Mr Less-than-100bpm Man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted March 9, 2012 Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 Yeh this is cool on the melody i would go down on the second line Too much (up like it is) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted March 9, 2012 Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 Love the pink floyd vibe you have going - their Darkside to Meddle phase to be exact. Lovely melody. The instrumental is lovely, too. Don't have any suggestions - most excellent song. Rick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted March 9, 2012 Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 Bee - I've listened again.Firstly, I hear that you do sing the line, 'Freedom's such a simple notion', which is what I wanted to suggest in place of what is written. Secondly, the preceding line isn't quite working - 'The birdsong wrought with raw emotion'. The ear hears 'raw(t) with raw', and also wrought works poetically and visually on the page, but not sung in this context.Consider : 'The birds that sing with raw emotion' - I think this can work better. Love the song on 2nd listening - it's got what it takes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 Yeh this is cool on the melody i would go down on the second line Too much (up like it is) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 Bee - I've listened again. Firstly, I hear that you do sing the line, 'Freedom's such a simple notion', which is what I wanted to suggest in place of what is written. Secondly, the preceding line isn't quite working - 'The birdsong wrought with raw emotion'. The ear hears 'raw(t) with raw', and also wrought works poetically and visually on the page, but not sung in this context. Consider : 'The birds that sing with raw emotion' - I think this can work better. Love the song on 2nd listening - it's got what it takes. Yeah, sometimes what works on paper doesn't work in song. Did you know that there is a difference between a bird call and a birdsong? A call is more of an alert... like, "hey other birds, I'm flying up behind you". A birdsong is associated with courtship and mating. So, I was loosely trying to capture that emotional connection by using the word birdsong. Luckily, I'm not that picky about words ( ) and I may just sing it as you've suggested, but I'd still like to try somehow to get birdsong in there... so I'm wide open to ideas here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shortchord Posted March 9, 2012 Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 Standing on its own, I like it. A lot. However, the outro is the bridge from My Storm: http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11284095 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 Standing on its own, I like it. A lot. However, the outro is the bridge from My Storm. I stole from myself? Oh... and ShhhhhhhhhhhhhhH!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shortchord Posted March 9, 2012 Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 I stole from myself? Well ... try singing this over the outro: Don't try to right the course You're better off on shore Where life is simple Try and understand That nature has no plan for us Then again, maybe that can work as part of a concept album where this song intentionally reprises that one, sort of like on Dark Side, where there's a reprise of Breathe at the end of Time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 Yeah... that's right. It's a reprise. And yeah, I already did sing that against it... I think, at least, it's in a different key? Maybe? Hopefully? Fixed. See my original post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted March 9, 2012 Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 Em-A (and capoed variations) is such a cool progression, and I love the derivative chords you strum on top. I'll have more later, but the one thing that jumped out at me is to sing "I get up out of bed" in more of a talk-delivery. You were high for so long that I think bringing that line down with both close down the verse better and make it more pronounced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted March 9, 2012 Moderators Share Posted March 9, 2012 I'm a fan. More and more, I'm a fan. Justin, your melodies are great. They bring something to your lyric. Every time. Just like some of the great rock of the past, you're tapping into that real deal. I'm a fan. Nothing to add, except... don't stop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted March 9, 2012 Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 Very, very nice. I really like "wrought with raw emotion." (Sorry OGP.) LCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 What do you all think of some harmonized vocals over the end part... something simple like: Too much... I'm tired of doing too muchToo much... It's all in my headToo much... I'm tired of doing too muchAs such... I'l'l go back to bed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted March 9, 2012 Moderators Share Posted March 9, 2012 Sure! or not. If I were to do backups as you describe, I might want to do something different. Like Leslied out, or band-limited and off to one side. Down in volume a bit. It's a ride out, and it works as such right now. So I wouldn't step on it. Yet, your idea makes sense. So like I say, why not try something a little different. Here's what I do. All of the above... Stack your 3 parts or what ever in MONO. Put through a Leslie effect. Roll off the highs down to 4k. Roll off the lows up to 200. Pan them off 50%. Maybe return a mono spring reverb 50% panned opposite. Make them part of the ensemble and not the star. There's one idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 If I was feeling really ambitious, I could run them through my real Leslie... which is sitting right next to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted March 9, 2012 Moderators Share Posted March 9, 2012 YES!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 Sure! or not. If I were to do backups as you describe, I might want to do something different. Like Leslied out, or band-limited and off to one side. Down in volume a bit. It's a ride out, and it works as such right now. So I wouldn't step on it. Yet, your idea makes sense. So like I say, why not try something a little different. Here's what I do. All of the above...Stack your 3 parts or what ever in MONO. Put through a Leslie effect. Roll off the highs down to 4k. Roll off the lows up to 200. Pan them off 50%. Maybe return a mono spring reverb 50% panned opposite. Make them part of the ensemble and not the star.There's one idea. By the way, I have NO idea how to do what you describe above. I'm guessing you're talking about summing all the tracks to one? I don't know how??? Googling now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted March 9, 2012 Moderators Share Posted March 9, 2012 The easy way, and a great way because of its limitations, are to get a balance on your 3 in the mix, in mono, solo just those, and "Bounce to Disc". Choose mono in the Bounce dialog, call them "Mono BGs", and save them to your Audio Files folder. Then, import audio > audio file folder > Mono BG's > New Track. Then you can process them as a group. That... in itself, will contrast greatly with how you treat vocals now. Which is great. But the mono submix will have a very different flavor that'll contrast nicely. Method 2: Create a mono Aux track. Assign a bus (just 1, mono) as input for that track. Take your 3 vocals and assign their outputs to that bus you set your aux to. Now all 3 vocals show up on the mono aux. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 OK... didn't try any of that fancy stuff yet... but have a listen to this. Just an idea... http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11494621 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted March 9, 2012 Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 I still think that last line needs to be lower to punctuate it, but otherwise I am blown away. Perhaps my favorite of your songs. I'd buy an entire album just to get this. The final chorus is pure magic, with the keys and interacting vocals. I hope you add some low harmonies in the first or second chorus to counter the high lead vox. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted March 9, 2012 Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 BTW, is the end of this the same as coffee? Or another one, perhaps. I seem to recall hearing that gorgeous piano before... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 I still think that last line needs to be lower to punctuate it, but otherwise I am blown away. Perhaps my favorite of your songs. I'd buy an entire album just to get this. The final chorus is pure magic, with the keys and interacting vocals.I hope you add some low harmonies in the first or second chorus to counter the high lead vox. Thanks Justin! I should have prefaced that last post with "I haven't touched any of the lead vocals yet". I want everyone to vet their comments through so I can actually address them before singing. You know, I've tried the lower harmony and it's tough... not sure why, but I wasn't nailing it even remotely when I tried last night. I'll give it a try when I re-track the leads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 9, 2012 BTW, is the end of this the same as coffee? Or another one, perhaps. I seem to recall hearing that gorgeous piano before... Read earlier in the thread where my brother called me out on it... it's the same chord progression as My Storm. I'm calling it a theme. Or a reprise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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