Members shortchord Posted March 11, 2012 Members Share Posted March 11, 2012 I picked up my guitar to sing a song to my sixth month old twins as my wife fed them their outmeal tonight. This is what came out. http://soundcloud.com/shortchord/the-oatmeal-song The Oatmeal Song Daddy is writingThe words of this songIf he doesn't write themYou can't sing along But it's alrightIf I don't have the wordsAs long as you like the sounds you've heardAnd it's alrightIf I've nothing to sayCause you keep listening anyway Daddy is writingThis little tuneBecause when you're smilingYou light up the room And it's alrightIf I sing off keyAs long as you keep looking at meAnd it's alrightIf I've nothing to sayCause you keep listening anyway Sorry about the quality of the vocals. I had to sing quietly into my iPad's mic so as not to wake the babies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted March 11, 2012 Members Share Posted March 11, 2012 Cute. I think all songwriter fathers have pulled something like this. The only thing I wish you said differently was Cause you keep listening anyway I would have gone with If I can keep you listening anway With "keep" coming down on the kick that starts each phrase. "if I can" rises each word (like a ascending introductory lick in a guitar solo) and pauses ever so slightly before "keep" comes in. I think the change would sound cool, plus it is closer to the subject, IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shortchord Posted March 12, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 12, 2012 Thanks for the suggestion. I will try that out when I get a chance to re-record the vocals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted March 12, 2012 Members Share Posted March 12, 2012 Most excellent. 6 month old twins ... you must be a busy guy ... catch a nap when you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shortchord Posted March 12, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 12, 2012 Most excellent. 6 month old twins ... you must be a busy guy ... catch a nap when you can. Yup, life is busy and sleep-deprived right now, but good. My wife is home full time with the boys. When she needs some time off, I bring the babies over to their Uncle bee3's house and we work on some of his tunes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted March 12, 2012 Members Share Posted March 12, 2012 Cute. I really like the guitar. If you were to change the subject matter, and give some new dimensions to the chorus (it sounds a little too much like the verses, imo), you could turn this into a nice rock tune that, if this were 1973, could be a radio hit. (I hope that doesn't sound like a put down; it's not.) LCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted March 12, 2012 Members Share Posted March 12, 2012 This is great. I've gone so far as to make my daughter, now 5, make a flyer for a concert in her room. Playing to her like that is what made me finally learn how to play without a pick. I started making up a song one night for her, and after about 2 minutes realized I was playing 4 Non Blondes. I get a big kick out of it and went into that song, at least what I could remember of it... Before long the kid is jumping up and down on the bed "Heeeyyyyyyy heyyyy heyyy heyyy, What's going on?" Cue her mom busting in the door looking super pissed and sternly saying "What's going on?" I didn't get it until she started laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shortchord Posted March 12, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 12, 2012 I started making up a song one night for her, and after about 2 minutes realized I was playing 4 Non Blondes. I'm not ruling out the possibility that I "borrowed" this song from someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Marshal Posted March 13, 2012 Members Share Posted March 13, 2012 It's quite fine. Only thing that didn't work for me was "listening anyway" and "looking at me." I think I wanted more descriptive phrases at those places. Smiling, sure works. Laughing is great. Giggling is good. Cooing, is possible. Who knows? There's a million things babies and children do that are entertaining. Listening, and looking are a couple of the least endearing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Marshal Posted March 13, 2012 Members Share Posted March 13, 2012 PS - It's the "Oatmeal Song," but you never mention the stuff. Another thing. You allude to the fact that a small child is entertained by anything we say. That's the type of thing that gets expressed by made-up words like jabberwocky. Might be fun to just introduce simple sounds. La, la, la, even works sometimes to illustrate the point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shortchord Posted March 13, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 13, 2012 It's quite fine. Only thing that didn't work for me was "listening anyway" and "looking at me." I think I wanted more descriptive phrases at those places. Smiling, sure works. Laughing is great. Giggling is good. Cooing, is possible. Who knows? There's a million things babies and children do that are entertaining. Listening, and looking are a couple of the least endearing. Actually, "looking" and "listening" are two of the things that I find most endearing about my boys. They love being talked to, and will watch and listen with incredible intensity. You can almost see the wheels of learning turning. I do like the idea of using the word "laughing." I deliberately avoided it at first because I didn't think that "laughing AT me" worked (as opposed to "Laughing WITH me"), but with combined with Oswlek's suggestion, maybe it fits. The Oatmeal Song (It's Alright) Daddy is writingThe words of this songIf he doesn't write themYou can't sing along But it's alrightIf I don't have the wordsAs long as you like the sounds you've heardAnd it's alrightIf I've nothing to sayIf I can keep you listening anyway Daddy is writingThis little tuneBecause when you're smilingYou light up the room And it's alrightIf I sing off keyAs long as you keep grinning at meAnd it's alrightIf I've nothing to sayIf I can keep you laughing anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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