Breakin' Chains

[Lee Knight]

Is this done? I put it together 10 years ago. I no longer have any of the sources files. All the found voice stuff would be lost. Of course, redoing it would allow my to clean up lyrics, vocal, and make the groove a little less 90's Everlast.

 

The found voice stuff is actually a couple of meth tweakers at a call center where I was an engineer. They forgot to mute their headsets and were recorded peaking after a couple lines. I cut the found voice stuff to the beat and.... there you go. The title comes from one of them testifying about the tweak. Good or bad... it's all {censored}ty.

 

[video=youtube;iq2ptJSYlSQ]

[oldgitplayer]

I like the groove and the bass ostinato.

I thought the Intro with voices was a tad long and had an instinctive expectation for the sung lyric to start when the song title came on the screen.

 

I really like the acoustic guitar riff used early on, and anticipated that you might bring it back into the mix for the final portion of the song.

What thinks you?

 

All round, it's a pretty solid song and worthy of giving a new life.

[Lee Knight]

 

I like the groove and the bass ostinato. I thought the Intro with voices was a tad long and had an instinctive expectation for the sung lyric to start when the song title came on the screen. I really like the acoustic guitar riff used early on, and anticipated that you might bring it back into the mix for the final portion of the song. What thinks you? All round, it's a pretty solid song and worthy of giving a new life.

 

 

I could edit the 2 track. That's the only option I have. Cut the intro, perhaps edit in some of the down vibe from the intro later on... figure if there's a means of cutting some of the riff into later parts of the tune... I hadn't thought of that approach. Cool.

 

Any one else?

[rsadasiv]

I think it's done. I don't know if I exactly identify it as Everlast, but it definitely conjures up a musical time, and I was there, and I dig it for that. The first :30 is seriously bad-ass, and the whole thing is of a piece, so I say leave it alone.

 

I mean, if someone is making a movie about tweakers in a 90's call center, this is their soundtrack. You just need to get that movie made.

[stickboymusic]

This is ten years old!? Sounds like you could have recorded it yesterday.... i think if i dug up some of my really old stuff it would pretty much be unlistenable

 

It sounds like a finished track... depends what you want to do with it.... sure you could freshen it... i think if you were to go back to this it may be worth taking a little time and try to explore a bigger chorus... whilst i do like the chorus lyrically, it doesnt really hit you like a chorus...the whole song is almost one continuous groove... and whilst its cool... it feels a little like a nice , almost nothing track (i dont mean this offensively)

[rickidoo]

It is very reminiscent (style/technique wise) to the intro song to the Dragnet movie made in the 90's... all the subdued talking/radio like chatter happening. To me, if you were to update it, I think the chatter is holding the song back now. Scores high on the coolness scale but behind that chatter is strong song just waiting to be heard. I would concentrate on driving home the main vocal lines. The strength of this song is it's groove, plus the really cool hook contained in the chorus.

 

But then again, do the opposite of what my ear thinks and you'll probably be on the right track!

 

Rick

[Lee Knight]

Cool. As I mentioned, I don't have access to any of the source files. So I either build it up from the ground or I edit the 2 track to streamline the flow a little and overdub some production tricks on the chorius for a lift. Some backups, etc. Really, that might be fun.

 

But I think at this point I won't go back and recut from the beginning. Thanks guys...

[LCK]

It's a cool tune.

 

For clarity's sake, I'd take the first three lines in this order (with a bit of a rewrite?):

 

"Breakin' chains, flyin' higher than a kite.

Breakin' chains, what sets you free tonight

will only toast your brain and annihilate your life"

 

LCK

[bee3]

Really cool... I wouldn't change it at all. And if you get any crank calls in the middle of the night... wasn't me.

[Lee Knight]

"Crank" calls?

[LCK]

"Breakin' chains, flyin' higher than a kite.

Breakin' chains, what sets you free tonight

will only frag your brain and annihilate your life"

 

LCK

[bee3]

 

"Crank" calls?

 

 

That term isn't universal?

 

So I just googled and found this on wordreference.com...

 

 

A prank call is a practical joke made by a child or childish person, usually out of boredom. There's some humor involved-- though not always for the person targeted. A crank call is a type of prank call where the person is old enough to have better ways of entertaining himself, or is motivated by pathology of some sort. Crank calls aren't funny, and usually they're intended to be scary-- or antagonize in some way. A kid making a prank call will target no one in particular, usually, and ask a setup line like "is your refrigerator running?" If you're duped into saying yes, you just made his day-- and he says "well you better go catch it!" A stalker or malicious gossip making a crank call usually knows who he's calling, and doesn't like that person. "Do you know where your wife is right now?" is the kind of thing he'll say, and then hang up. Or single women will be called by a perv who doesn't say anything, just "breaths heavy" and delights in any annoyance or fear he causes. Iago might call Othello and hang up without saying anything, to cause suspicion-- the idea being that the call was for Desdemona, and Othello wasn't expected to answer. Bart Simpson call's Moe's tavern with pestering "is Mike Hunt there?" jokes, and Moe calls the name out and gets ridiculed. That kid's a little wickeder than most, so his phone calls are in that grey area where prank becomes crank. If he's still doing it later in adult life, and it's still Moe he's plaguing, then Bart has evolved into a crank caller.

 

 

Have to say, I didn't realize there was a difference. In fact, we've always just called them crank calls, never prank calls. So I guess I would 'prank' call you... not 'crank' call you.

[rsadasiv]

Crank == speed

[bee3]

 

Crank == speed

 

 

Song idea: Gonna get my crank on

 

Play on the two different meaning of the words.

 

If anyone can do this, Lee Knight can...

[rsadasiv]

Song idea: Gonna get my crank on Play on the two different meaning of the words. If anyone can do this, Lee Knight can...

 

I was watching a Motorhead documentary the other night .....

 

If anyone can do this, Lee and Lemmy can.

[Oswlek]

I've listened to this three times trying to think of something insightful to add....

 

But I got nothing.

[Lee Knight]

I think I'm going to import into Pro Tools, match tempo, and try layering some production ideas. Backups in the Chorus. Some sub bass in key sections. Rearrange the order a bit... Should be fun.

[LCK]

 

I think I'm going to import into Pro Tools, match tempo, and try layering some production ideas. Backups in the Chorus. Some sub bass in key sections. Rearrange the order a bit... Should be fun.

 

 

So you think the song itself is a finished product?

 

Rhetorical question: If it's finished, why post it here in the songwriting forum?

 

LCK

[stickboymusic]

 

So you think the song itself is a finished product? Rhetorical question: If it's finished, why post it here in the songwriting forum? LCK

 

 

ohhh touche!

 

I think Lee asked if people thought it was finished.... seems the main thing everyone is pointing out is just production issues.

 

I'd like to think if everyone said the melody/lyrics/chords were crappy that he may start it again

 

if its just production then may as well just edit and add to the track

 

I know you did mention a few lyrics... and i myself suggested a stronger chorus (which may be done with the extra production/vocals)... but im guessing the majority wins

[Lee Knight]

 

So you think the song itself is a finished product? Rhetorical question: If it's finished, why post it here in the songwriting forum? LCK

 

 

That's not a touche, that's a WTF?!?!?

 

I asked for input, I got input. I made my decision based on that input. Everyone but you felt it was done. That gave me some perspective. I didn't like your suggestion. Sorry, you frequently make great suggestions. Yours didn't strike me as an improvement so I decided to let it be and move on.

 

"Breakin' chains, flyin' higher than a kite.

Breakin' chains, what sets you free tonight

will only frag your brain and annihilate your life"

 

What's the problem, Lee?

 

If your input really nailed me, I'd be redoing it tonight. 'm not yanking anybody's chain, I needed perspective. WTF? I make suggestions all the time that don't get used and pretty much get ignored. I have zero issue with that. I won't pretend to understand the writer's intention. All I can do is try to help. By throwing out there what I might do. If it doesn't get used, that makes perfect sense to me. If it stimulate the writer to think up something better, that's great.

 

I found a way that I could include Stick's good advice. Cool. And yes, my intention, the way I was leaning, was to redo the tune. I wanted to find out if what I had already might stand. I'm not lying when I say I was releived. I've got plenty of stuff that needs working on. But I want this soing in my catalog.

 

I didn't mean to disrespect you in any way. WTF?

[LCK]

 

That's not a touche, that's a WTF?!?!? If your input really nailed me, I'd be redoing it tonight. 'm not yanking anybody's chain, I needed perspective. WTF?

 

 

Sorry I pissed you off. I didn't mean to. I just think the song itself needs a tad more work.

 

I think this might be a case where the production -- which when it's your product always blows me away -- gets in the way of seeing the flaws, if any, of the song itself.

 

Put it this way, if you had posted a bare-bones version, just you and a guitar, would everyone have agreed the song itself couldn't use any more work, that it was done? In other words, were people here blown away by the production values (like me) and, as a result, did they ignore or not see some areas where the song itself might need some improvement? I think those are valid questions.

 

So I'm sorry but I think the impetus behind my OP (if not its tone) is relevant.

 

Ultimately I'm not trying to piss you off, but help make your song work on its own merits.

 

LCK

[Lee Knight]

 

Sorry I pissed you off. I didn't mean to. I just think the song itself needs a tad more work. I think this might be a case where the production -- which when it's your product always blows me away -- gets in the way of seeing the flaws, if any, of the song itself. Put it this way, if you had posted a bare-bones version, just you and a guitar, would everyone have agreed the song itself couldn't use any more work, that it was done? In other words, were people here blown away by the production values (like me) and, as a result, did they ignore or not see some areas where the song itself might need some improvement? I think those are valid questions. So I'm sorry but I think the impetus behind my OP (if not its tone) is relevant. Ultimately I'm not trying to piss you off, but help make your song work on its own merits. LCK

 

 

I'm kinda thinking you did mean to piss me off.

 

Anyway... this goes back to the law of diminishing returns. I understand you don't get that. You made that clear. That's OK, different paradigms. It is a buttload of work to work these puppies up. You didn't make your case it would be worth my while. I got the info I needed.

 

And I'm thankful for it.

 

Yes, I know you see area for improvement. So do I. That's why I posted it here. But when it wasn't clear there was something I can do, that is apprent and ready for improvement, it'sd time to cut my losses. That' my choice. But rest assued, I didn't know until I posted here.

[LCK]

 

I'm kinda thinking you did mean to piss me off.

 

 

No, I didn't. Frankly, I was pressed for time. And I think I was a little peeved that you seemed to be ignoring my input. So if anything, I was probably just trying to get your attention. (And I got it!)

 

Look, you're a really, really good songwriter. Someone I can learn from. So in that respect you piss me off because you make me want to outdo you. And I don't often succeed, if ever.

 

But your production skills are beyond amazing. I would also never want to piss you off because somewhere in the back of my mind I'm thinking, "Wouldn't it be great if we could hook up on a song of mine someday? God, that would be fantastic..."

 

I admit, I do get frustrated when the discussions veer away from songwriting to software, etc. And I think that sometimes those discussions get in the way of making improvements to a song that needs them.

 

I'll try not to piss you off again, Lee. But I can't guarantee anything...

 

LCK

[bee3]

 

I admit, I do get frustrated when the discussions veer away from songwriting to software, etc. And I think that sometimes those discussions get in the way of making improvements to a song that needs them. LCK

 

 

Oh man... I must REALLY piss you off.

[Oswlek]

Would this be the thread where you post pics of LOLcats fighting?

 

Or perhaps the cripple fight from South Park?