Members dramey Posted June 16, 2013 Members Share Posted June 16, 2013 Oh look, this place is still here. I couldn't log in for a while, and gave up on trying to get help. Today it just worked.I had to do some research on sexy lingerie recently, so I could dress up a hooker. Wait, that came out wrong. The hooker is in a song I'm writing. The song isn't really about the hooker, it's about the CIA. Well, no that's not true either, the song is called CIA, it's about a hookers boyfriend. Oh nevermind.All I know is that I need to write more songs with hookers in them (I already have quite a few) to justify this kind of research.Here's where I am after a couple drunken nights. It's country. I have the beginnings of some really bad music to go with it, but nothing I'm willing to share as of yet.CIA.I've got a girlfriend, I think she's in the CIA She's got a dozen outfits designed to infiltrateA sexy school yard, or a candy stripe paradeA convent where they all wear habits and fishnet lingerie I've got a girlfriend, I think she's in the FBI Every time I see her I swear she's with a different guySometimes it can be a little awkward when you are dating a super spyI never want to blow her cover so I just watch them passing by Ive got a girlfriend, I think she's in the KGBBut I don't think Moscow sent her just to spy on meWhenever the phone rings she's off on a secret missionUsually with a Cat o' nine tails to whip the bad guys in to submission I've got a girlfriend, I think she's from the outer spaceYou wouldn't believe the things she wears when she leaves her place Once she was a French maid with a garter made of lace Last night I caught her dressed like a Wookie with a light saber than vib-er-ates I've got a girlfriend, I think she's in the CIA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted June 16, 2013 Members Share Posted June 16, 2013 I love it - and only have one possibility to throw into the pot:Maybe you could throw in a little twist at the end. You've covered CIA, FBI, KGB, outer space, but what about the current hot potato?I was thinking of in place of your current single tie-up line, you use a couple of lines that say you're never going to be sure about your girlfriends, and maybe you need a girlfriend with the ultimate lingerie, the all-seeing lingerie, the see-through lingerie - working in the NSA (or something in that vein).Just a thought, but otherwise, I like the song muchly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Monkey Uncle Posted June 16, 2013 Members Share Posted June 16, 2013 I like it a lot. You've got some great imaginative ideas going. And I like the fact that you never completely spill the beans; you just leave it for the listener to figure out (which isn't difficult, but most contemporary country songwriters think their listeners can't figure this stuff out, so they just have to put a blatant "tell" at the end).I do have an issue with some of the rhymes, however. Although I'm not normally a stickler for perfect rhymes, the series of "a," "ate," "ade," "a" in the first verse didn't feel quite right. And the switch from AAAA to AABB in the third verse, then back to AAAA in the fourth, also stuck out as odd. But maybe these things will sound o.k. when sung? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dramey Posted June 16, 2013 Author Members Share Posted June 16, 2013 At one point I was toying with the twist being that protagonist being in some top secret organization himself (NSA would be perfect) and still unable to figure out what was going on with his GF. To my ear the first verse sings fine. The third works but is a bit odd. I like the cat o nine tails line though. I might try to find a way to stick it in a bridge, the song needs one anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted June 16, 2013 Moderators Share Posted June 16, 2013 This is really clever. I like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted June 16, 2013 Members Share Posted June 16, 2013 Monkey Uncle wrote: I do have an issue with some of the rhymes, however. Although I'm not normally a stickler for perfect rhymes, the series of "a," "ate," "ade," "a" in the first verse didn't feel quite right. And the switch from AAAA to AABB in the third verse, then back to AAAA in the fourth, also stuck out as odd. But maybe these things will sound o.k. when sung? I agree. The hook for this kind of song is its cleverness. The idea is very clever. Some of the rhymes? Not so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted June 17, 2013 Moderators Share Posted June 17, 2013 dramey wrote: Oh look, this place is still here. I couldn't log in for a while, and gave up on trying to get help. Today it just worked.I had to do some research on sexy lingerie recently, so I could dress up a hooker. Wait, that came out wrong. The hooker is in a song I'm writing. The song isn't really about the hooker, it's about the CIA. Well, no that's not true either, the song is called CIA, it's about a hookers boyfriend. Oh nevermind.All I know is that I need to write more songs with hookers in them (I already have quite a few) to justify this kind of research. Here's where I am after a couple drunken nights. It's country. I have the beginnings of some really bad music to go with it, but nothing I'm willing to share as of yet.CIA.I've got a girlfriend, I think she's in the CIAShe's got a dozen outfits designed to infiltrateA sexy school yard, or a candy stripe paradeA convent where they all wear habits and fishnet lingerie I've got a girlfriend, I think she's in the FBIEvery time I see her I swear she's with a different guySometimes it can be a little awkward when you are dating a super spyI never want to blow her cover so I just watch them passing by Ive got a girlfriend, I think she's in the KGBBut I don't think Moscow sent her just to spy on meWhenever the phone rings she's off on a secret missionUsually with a Cat o' nine tails to whip the bad guys in to submission I've got a girlfriend, I think she's from the outer spaceYou wouldn't believe the things she wears when she leaves her placeOnce she was a French maid with a garter made of laceLast night I caught her dressed like a Wookie with a light saber than vib-er-ates I've got a girlfriend, I think she's in the CIA Personally, I think... CIAinfiltratestripe paradelingerie ...are awesome rhymes. And also... KGBspy on me But you go a little awry with... secret missioninto submission Well, actually those are great too. But as others have mentioned, it feels odd breaking up the rhyme scheme. Great lines though. I hope you decide to clean up the rhyme scheme because this is going to be cool. Here's a quick stab at a couple of ideas for fun and stimulation... I've got a girlfriend, I think she's in the KGBBut I don't think Moscow sent her just to spy on meAlways buzzin' like a secret agent busy beeMindin' other business when I wish she would be minding me BridgeThe phone rings... she's off on a secret missionCat o' nine tails... whip the bad guys into submission Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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