Craig's List: Five Reasons to Love Operating System Updates
By Anderton |
Yes, we’ve become dependent on our little pet brains called computers, and the operating system updates that keep them in tippy-top shape. What’s that? You don’t like those constant updates? Sad! There are tons of reasons to love operating system updates!
You’ll sharpen your search skills. Knowing how to work a search engine with the focus of an escort service at CES is a fundamental skill in today’s world—and operating system updates let you hone your skills. Who hasn’t searched on “does latest Mac OS work on my computer that’s more than a week old” and “how to re-install driver I forgot even existed after Windows update, assuming it’s still compatible maybe I hope”?
They add excitement to your life! Downloading an update and waiting nervously while some little beach ball goes spinning around like it mixed methedrine with the sun tan lotion is a lot like when you come home and find a package at your door. Is it that long-awaited horse head mask from Amazon, or a box of dog poop from your disgruntled and slightly unhinged ex? You’ll find out when the computer boots! Assuming it boots, of course.
They teach patience. When Windows says “just a moment,” does it mean a “moment” like going to the bathroom, or a “moment” like “now’s your chance to do dinner and movie, and maybe go bar crawling after that. Or take that Florida vacation you’ve always dreamed about.”
They increase your vocabulary. Seriously, how many of you knew what “deprecated” meant until you searched on “why does this update not include my favorite feature any more” and the search result tells you it’s been “deprecated” (Windows translation: it never really worked right anyway, no big deal). Or that something is “legacy,” which is a fancy high-tech word for “old crap” (Mac translation: Anything you haven’t bought in the last 90 days is “legacy”).
They keep software engineers employed. When authors write a book, at some point the book is done. When you record an album, eventually the album is finished. When a mechanic fixes car, the car runs and that’s the end of it. But software is the ideal gig...it’s never done! And in the process of doing more, you introduce new bugs that need to be fixed. Job security? Yeah, baby!