Songwriting Workshop

[Lee Knight]

Here's what I've got so far dancing around in my head. Note the out ofthe blue chorus lyric. Just an idea that I'd love you (OGP) to re-write or redefine or refine or trash. The reason I went here in the chorus is that is where my imagination, day to day, kept going. So I'm following it for now.

Is this a direction either in just the verse, or in the V, C you'd be interested in going? I'm hearing this as a Ringo on tubs sort of deal. Electrics. etc.

[rsadasiv]

All you guys wear hats. I gotta get me one of them.

[Lee Knight]

[Lee Knight]

[rsadasiv]

I can't find an appropriate emoticat.

[Lee Knight]

That's why I make my own motherbleeper!!!

[rsadasiv]

Sounds good so far. I kind of wanted that chromatic ascending bass line to keep going up (the way it does when you move into the chorus).

[Lee Knight]

Yeah... ^^^ I like that. I feel it too but was just sort of following my fingers a bit too much. Good call. I'll work that a bit more... thanks motherbleeper!

[Lee Knight]

Obviously, or not so, I turned the song title into a chorus focus. I like that. A simple, distilling and uplifting section, that takes the more complex ideas you've outlined, and "turns another corner".

I just had an idea. Perhaps highlighting the walking motive. Both musically and lyrically. Lyrically, it could further describe how our little journeys can be so... pedestrian. And which my current^^^ lyric is. Hah, get it? But by being willing and moved to "turn another corner", to venture into neighborhoods unknown, but ones we choose by certain inspiration, be it a couple 'round that corner with a smile, or a cool bookstore sigh beckoning us, we choose to live rather than keep on the straight line.

Musically, the walking motive is present in my guitar's rhythmic pattern. Just waiting for Ringo to do his magic.

Turn another corner
Lighten up my stride
Turn another corner
Open up my eyes
Then it all comes into focus
And I keep getting warmer
So I'll turn another corner

[stickboymusic]

Liking this so far - good work guys

I would probably say "stretches out" instead of "stretching out" now I hear it surg.... I know its the same length but the ING sound is somehow jumping out too much

[Lee Knight]

---

stickboymusic wrote:

Liking this so far - good work guys

I would probably say "stretches out" instead of "stretching out" now I hear it surg.... I know its the same length but the ING sound is somehow jumping out too much

---

Yes, I like that catch...

[oldgitplayer]

---

Lee Knight wrote:

---

I guess you must be showing us your 'hammer on' finger. Is this a friendly guitarist's greeting in the US?

[Lee Knight · Accepted solution]

It's the "Don't bleep with me" salute! I rarely use it but I know Ras could take the love. I'm just trying to show a more balanced profile...

[oldgitplayer]

---

Lee Knight wrote:

 "Don't bleep with me" 

---

And there is the title and theme of another teen pop song......

[oldgitplayer]

Lee -  listening to your current music and lyric phrasing, I'd like you to try this for the 1st Verse :

V1

This same old endless street

Stretches out before me

Knowing who I'll meet

And what I'm gonna see

Evr'thing seems to steer me straight

But I guess it's never too late

To turn another corner.

And some other options for the direction you are taking with your chorus:

Turn another corner


Lighten up my stride


Turn another corner


Open up my eyes


I might be getting warmer


Looking for the prize

If I turn another corner

[rsadasiv]

First line of the chorus:

You hit me like a bus

[oldgitplayer]

---

rsadasiv wrote:
First line of the chorus:

You hit me like a bus

---

Would that be a single or a double-decker? 

[rsadasiv]

---

oldgitplayer wrote:

---

rsadasiv wrote:
First line of the chorus:

You hit me like a bus

---

Would that be a single or a double-decker? 

---

I took the step as me

But when I landed it was us

[oldgitplayer]

---

rsadasiv wrote:

---

oldgitplayer wrote:

---

rsadasiv wrote:
First line of the chorus:

You hit me like a bus

---

Would that be a single or a double-decker? 

---

I took the step as me

But when I landed it was us

---

Are you lying with a folded towel under your head with a fish in you ear?

[Lee Knight]

 draft

V1
This same old endless street
Stretches out before me
Already knowing who I'll meet
And what I'm gonna see
Evr'thing sorted, lined up straight
I'm marching in time, but it's not too late...

C
To turn another corner
Lighten up my stride
Turn another corner
Across the great divide
And I'll keep getting warmer
Looking for the prize
Turn another corner

V2
This same old endless street
Stretches out before me
Already knowing who I'll meet
And what I'm gonna see
Evr'thing sorted, lined up straight
I'm marching in time, but it's not too late...

C
Turn another corner
Lighten up my stride
Turn another corner
Across the great divide
And I'll keep getting warmer
Looking for the prize
Turn another corner

Bridge
Not trying to hope here
For some sweet utopia
With perfect girls, perfect job, and friends
Just want the freedom
Create my own Eden
Up around the corner, up around the bend

Turn another corner...