MrKnobs wrote:This isn't in the least surprising. We may consider ourselves rational, enlightened creatures but what causes sex to happen is simple biology.
First let's talk about men. A man's sex drive is directly connected to his self esteem. A depressed man is much less likely to want sex. Why? Because his biology is telling him to remove himself from the gene pool, and, if the depression goes deep enough and for long enough, to die.
Where does a man's self esteem come from? Largely from his status in the world of men, and from his ability to procure, protect, and provide for a woman who will bear his children. Don't hate on me for saying this, it's simple biology and (other than a few aberrations) it's programmed in all of us. Biology.
Now let's talk about women. Where does a woman's sex drive come from? A bit more complicated, but still biology. A woman is hardwired to look as desireable as she can in order to find the "best" father for her children and the best provider / protector to look after her and her offspring - note that best genetic father and best provider / protector don't necessarily have to be the same male. This is a risky but common gambit for females of all species.
Where does a woman's self esteem come from? From her home, her children, and her status in human society. In the natural order, her status in human society flows from her mate's status in society.
So when does the maximum sex happen? Obviously (barring rape) when both the man and woman want it at the same time. This intersection comes when the man feels high self esteem and the woman feels safe, loved, and cherished. The woman feels these things most when her man is strong, protective / possessive, and clearly desires her. A woman has a very strong need to be desired just as a man has a strong need TO desire. "Strength" in a man, in this modern world includes things like social standing, money, power, etc. Power can be status, high self esteem, fame.
Now let's look at what happens when the woman is forced to work to provide for the family and the man either does or does not begin to help substantially with the housework.
The woman, now competing in the outside work world begins to become masculinized. The work force is brutally competitive, it hardens people of both genders. It also gives a sense of power both through competition and through money earned. Money is power, winning is power. So she begins to think more like a man, and needs a man less than before. She also has much less time to do housework and is under a lot more stress.
A man can either ignore the housework piling up in which case the woman sees more acutely that he's a failure as a man since she's having to provide for the family. She wonders what he's good for and whether she ever really needed him. He's likely depressed and not keeping her topped off with seed which makes her feel even less desireable. He's become a parasite, an emasculated man, and a lazy one at that.
If the man takes up the housework slack, he'll take some of the stress off his wife BUT she'll begin to see him as a woman. Worse, he'll begin to see himself as a woman. At this point the basis for their mating has dissolved, they're brother and sister, or simply roommates. That is the END of sex, whether quickly or gradually.
So of course men and women who keep to traditional roles have more sex. I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but it's just biology. If you use your free will in an attempt to subvert your basic programming -your biology -biology will always win.
ALL of this, and so many other problems, have as their root cause our fucked up society which attempts to subvert basic biology.
Terry D.
What about gay people?
Mikeo wrote:
humbuckerstrat wrote:
MrKnobs wrote:This isn't in the least surprising. We may consider ourselves rational, enlightened creatures but what causes sex to happen is simple biology.
First let's talk about men. A man's sex drive is directly connected to his self esteem. A depressed man is much less likely to want sex. Why? Because his biology is telling him to remove himself from the gene pool, and, if the depression goes deep enough and for long enough, to die.
Where does a man's self esteem come from? Largely from his status in the world of men, and from his ability to procure, protect, and provide for a woman who will bear his children. Don't hate on me for saying this, it's simple biology and (other than a few aberrations) it's programmed in all of us. Biology.
Now let's talk about women. Where does a woman's sex drive come from? A bit more complicated, but still biology. A woman is hardwired to look as desireable as she can in order to find the "best" father for her children and the best provider / protector to look after her and her offspring - note that best genetic father and best provider / protector don't necessarily have to be the same male. This is a risky but common gambit for females of all species.
Where does a woman's self esteem come from? From her home, her children, and her status in human society. In the natural order, her status in human society flows from her mate's status in society.
So when does the maximum sex happen? Obviously (barring rape) when both the man and woman want it at the same time. This intersection comes when the man feels high self esteem and the woman feels safe, loved, and cherished. The woman feels these things most when her man is strong, protective / possessive, and clearly desires her. A woman has a very strong need to be desired just as a man has a strong need TO desire. "Strength" in a man, in this modern world includes things like social standing, money, power, etc. Power can be status, high self esteem, fame.
Now let's look at what happens when the woman is forced to work to provide for the family and the man either does or does not begin to help substantially with the housework.
The woman, now competing in the outside work world begins to become masculinized. The work force is brutally competitive, it hardens people of both genders. It also gives a sense of power both through competition and through money earned. Money is power, winning is power. So she begins to think more like a man, and needs a man less than before. She also has much less time to do housework and is under a lot more stress.
A man can either ignore the housework piling up in which case the woman sees more acutely that he's a failure as a man since she's having to provide for the family. She wonders what he's good for and whether she ever really needed him. He's likely depressed and not keeping her topped off with seed which makes her feel even less desireable. He's become a parasite, an emasculated man, and a lazy one at that.
If the man takes up the housework slack, he'll take some of the stress off his wife BUT she'll begin to see him as a woman. Worse, he'll begin to see himself as a woman. At this point the basis for their mating has dissolved, they're brother and sister, or simply roommates. That is the END of sex, whether quickly or gradually.
So of course men and women who keep to traditional roles have more sex. I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but it's just biology. If you use your free will in an attempt to subvert your basic programming -your biology -biology will always win.
ALL of this, and so many other problems, have as their root cause our fucked up society which attempts to subvert basic biology.
Terry D.
What about gay people?
some one's got to be the top rider
guitarman wrote:
I do all of the housework in my house. As an ex-sergeant, my standards are pretty high when it comes to order and cleanliness but I'm not as anal as 'Adrian Monk'.
I mow diagonally and I keep the outside of the house 'squared away'. My wife does the laundry and until she picked up a garter snake thinking it was a twig in her flower bed, she used to be an avid gardner. I guess I'm the gardner now too.
I might sound pussy whipped but she what she paid alone in federal taxes last year, was more than my gross annual pay and I make a decent penny. We're not 'Mr. Knobs' wealthy but we're very comfortable and we enjoy our life.
I also have a very fulfilling sex life and my wife will join me once or twice a week.
No complaints here.
My impression has always been that you guys have a lot more money than we do. 
... and LOL @ "I... have a very fulfilling sex life and my wife will join me once or twice a week"
Terry D.
Originally Posted by braif
jackcheez wrote:
guitarman wrote:
I might sound pussy whipped but...
There's pussy whipped, and there's hen pecked. The difference is pussy whipped implies that you're getting some.
Indeed.
When we were first married, I told my wife, "Honey, if you want me to be pussy whipped you're going to have to apply some pussy from time to time."
Terry D.
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