Guitar Jam

[DaveGrima]

DId you already do a Zombie? If so then Ill pick malt liquor, if thats been done, then an Old Fashioned.

[Tikka]

No booze...soy decaf lattes..

[2manband]

No Quote function so, DaveGrima said "Zombie :evil"

OK Dave, you're they type of guy who is always a bit behind the times when it comes to internet and/or pop culture memes. You currently have monorail cat set as your desktop image. You like to eat bacon-heavy concoctions while you hypothesize about what Chuck Norris would do in a variety of unlikely scenarios. Myspace is your homepage.

[I Don't Play!]

vodka with a splash of water, no ice

[2manband]

Tillsta says "Glenlevit 21 on ice"

You are a Cadillac driver who is very proud of his Cadillac. When deciding which vehicle to drive to Costco, you refer to the minivan as "the minivan" but the sedan as a "The Cadillac." Frank Sinatra sounds really, really good to you over the sound system in the Cadillac. Yesterday, at Costco, you told the acne faced kid in the next space not to park too close, saying, "Watch the Translucent Pearl Metallic, punk!!!" The Cadillac makes you feel a bit like a gangster, but you also get mad at people for comitting minor traffic infractions, like turning on a "No Turn On Red." You plaster the rear window with stickers for the Fraternal Order of Police, as you are an annual donor. You don't remove the previous years' stickers, even though they're static-stickers and they peel right off. When you were pulled over for having too many stickers on the rear window, you tried to play "Don't You Know Who I am?!!?" with the officer, but he was not impressed. You are also a free mason.

[2manband]

Night Dreamer says "Mr Bostons out of the Bottle"

I don't know what Mr Bostons is, so I will assume that it's fortefied wine, ala Mad Dog or Night Train.

You are a homeless man who is not a veteran but claims to be one because you get better donations that way. You wear a Vietnam era olive-drap jacket, but tell people that you were in the first Gulf War because you're not old enough to pass as a Vietnam vet. Nobody seems to notice this discrepancy. The jacket is not actually military surplus, but came from American Outfitters. It was given to you by college kid who also never served in the military, but did have a super hot girlfriend.

[2manband]

Rhino55 says "Willet Single Barrel Straight Rye Whiskey for me please. Sometimes neat, sometimes with an ice cube or two"

You staunchly oppose any perceived government tyranny. You are not convinced by the supposed birth certificate, and your Willet Single Barrel Straigt Rye Whiskey can only be taken from you when it is pried from your cold, dead hands. You are the third generation resident of a home that your grandfather built with his warm, living hands in the rural foothills of the Smokey mountains. You have tried your hand a moonshining, and to a lesser extent meth, but have found that your wife's career as a nurse has rendered these efforts largely unnecessary. She weighs 300lbs but has a heart of gold. Or at least the parts that aren't plaque. The rest is gold.

[2manband]

DaveGrima said, "DId you already do a Zombie? If so then Ill pick malt liquor, if thats been done, then an Old Fashioned"

I feel a bit bad for Dave because he seems to have picked the thread up right where I slacked off, so we'll double down:

Malt Liquor makes you a washed up evening news reporter in a largely unrecognized, yet suprisingly populous midwestern city. You regularly occupy a median strip along a well traveled commuter route sporting a cardboard box sign that changes its message every two weeks, or after a hard rain. You were recently smartyphonded by a young buck who gave you $5 to introduce yourself and say something forgetable in your best anchorman baritone. You did, and then proceeded to appear on a daytime talk show describing how your new found fame had changed you life. Problem was that the daytime talkshow appearance put $463 in your pocket, which buys a lot of malt liquor, and now you're back on the median.

[karma279]

Jameson and Coke

[2manband]

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Tikka wrote:
No booze...soy decaf lattes..

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Male Yoga enthusiast.  You own a variety of stretchy pants and thinly padded mats.  You can do crouching crow, downward horse, and the sasquatch squat with perfect form and control.  You have not yet managed to fellate yourself, but you're getting close.  You are also a strict vegan, and you grow a small organic container garden on the rooftop of your Brooklyn apartment.  You often dream about moving upstate so that you could have more space to grow vegetables, but Albany doesn't have any good yoga studios. 

[2manband]

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I Don't Play! wrote:
vodka with a splash of water, no ice

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First generation Russian immigrant.  You are about 5'4" tall, but barrell chested.  You work as a barber in a mall barber shop.  You pride yourself on your ability to cut a head of hair faster than anybody else in the shop.  This speed, however, comes at the expense of quality, and you have a hard time securing repeat customers.  You don't like the capitalist swine when they ask you to change anything about their standard issue speed-cut, or when their hair contains too much styling product, but you do like the capitalist swine when they feel compelled to tip you a few bucks despite getting a hack-job haircut. 

[Fuzz sissy]

Gin and ginger ale

[bjcarl]

Laphroiag!

[leonard sly]

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bjcarl wrote:

Laphroiag!

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Too peaty for my taste.  

[2manband]

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Fuzz sissy wrote:
Gin and ginger ale

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19th Century African Safari Hunter/British Colonialist.  You wear a pith helmet and are dressed in khaki from head to toe.  You weigh around 130lbs, and you have perfectly round horn rimmed glasses.  You're wearing a vest that has many pockets and you're carrying a double barrelled rifle in some ridonkulous caliber, like .429 Smithenhoffer.  You lay waste to every magestic savannah creature that crosses your path taking only their horns or mane and leaving the rest to rot, or, occasionally be dragged back to the local village where it is consumed by starving villagers.  You like to relax in your large tent which is furnished with actual wooden furniture in said village while knocking back a few Gin and Ginger Ales, feeling good about yourself for feeding the local savages. 

[rsadasiv]

I love this thread. :catlove:

[2manband]

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bjcarl wrote:

Laphroiag!

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Rolex afficionado.  You own three Rolex watches and are a member of a forum dedicated to Rolexophilia.  You often wear all three watches at the same time, and have posed for pictures that way.  You are a bit miffed that there are an increasing number of watch manufacturers producing higher priced, and more sought after timepieces than Rolex.  You think of the people who wear these atrocities as nouveau riche, but you yourself are neither new money nor old money.  You have no savings and are drowning in credit card debt, and have recenlty broken up with your girlfriend because you couldn't bring yourself to sell a Rolex to generate some $ for an engagement ring. 

[Actionsquid]

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bjcarl wrote:

Laphroiag!

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I've been trying to work a bottle into my budget for months. I must do it before the weather gets warm. There is nothing like sipping some Laphroaig on a cold rainy night...

[StratoSlacker]

I like to drink the milk at the bottom of a big bowl of cinnamon chex.  If there are a few soggy chex floating around, i suck them down unchewed and pretend i'm a whale.

[2manband]

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StratoSlacker wrote:

I like to drink the milk at the bottom of a big bowl of cinnamon chex.  If there are a few soggy chex floating around, i suck them down unchewed and pretend i'm a whale.

---

Wouldn't a whale strain them out with his teeth?

Anywho - It's 11:00 Saturday morning, and you're still wearing one-piece pajamas with feet in them.  You've been parked in front of the TV watching cartoons since you woke up around 6.  So far you have done three things today:  Watch TV, Eat Chex, and Build a fort with the couch cushions.  Act 4 will come soon (fight with your sister after she wrecks your fort) and then you'll have to put real clothes on and and go play outside.  But for the next few blissful minutes you will continue spacing out to Voltron, burping up Cinnamon Chex and hiding from the world.