Drum Forum

[the DW]

Drummer Law #1: No matter what happens, It's ALWAYS the drummers' fault.
Drummer Law #2: The drummers' song suggestions are never valid.
Drummer Law #3: Drummers are expected to help other musicians haul and set up equipment, but must NEVER be given any help with their equipment.
Drummer Law #4: No matter how fast anyone else counts off the song, you are required to achieve the correct tempo immediately upon starting to play. (See rule #1)
Drummer Law #5: Even though you may have WAY more experience and knowledge, NEVER adjust the PA.
Drummer Law #6: No matter how chronicly late any other members of the band may be, you must ALWAYS arrive early.
Drummer Law #7: Drummers are required to be hidden from view by lead singers or horn players.
Drummer Law #8: The drummer will always be mistaken for banquet staff at any large function.
Drummer Law #9: Never EVER should the drummer be allowed to speak to the audience over the PA between songs.
Drummer Law #10: If the drummer quits a band because there are few gigs being booked, said band will put 110% into marketing itself with the new drummer, and will become VERY busy.

[cdawg]

i like number 4. i remember how pissed my old band got when i ignored the proper tempo, and substituted their tempo. they just never understood, lol.

[Drumstix101]

Yes sir! #4 is a constant. I am having a problem with a bandmate that seems to ignore my count in. I can come in with a 120 BPM stick click and he starts out at 95. Then I hear about it!

[boomboomdrums]

Drummer Law #11: When the guitar speeds up, the drummer is dragging.  When the guitar players slows down, the drummer is rushing.

[1001gear]

Also, Drummer Law #4 which states that no matter how fast anyone else counts off the song, you are required to achieve the correct tempo immediately upon starting to play, is almost always enforced to include required tempo lock regardless of actual tempo and simultanously groove locked to each band member's individual feel.

[Dendy Jarrett]

I have this one guy that I play drums with ... who says I drag every time I go to the ride cymbal. NOT POSSIBLE! I have a click in my ear! Geesh!

D

[the DW]

Gee.... I guess #4 should have been listed as #1, huh?

[the DW]

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boomboomdrums wrote:

Drummer Law #11: When the guitar speeds up, the drummer is dragging.  When the guitar players slows down, the drummer is rushing.

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I believe that's covered by #1.

[1001gear]

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Dendy Jarrett wrote:

I have this one guy that I play drums with ... who says I drag every time I go to the ride cymbal. NOT POSSIBLE! I have a click in my ear! Geesh!

D

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I actually have that problem too. Not only that, I figured it out and have been working to correct it.

First part:

Take a five single stroke roll with a tap. You can do those in perfect time all day. Now put the tap on the ride cymbal. 100 times the distance for that last tap. Not only that, you gotta put the brakes on to keep from smashing the ride. So I was pulling the first stroke to preserve the dynamics and generally holding back to keep the tone under control. More lag. 

Second part:

My right hand had stiffened over the years - a natural lead hand pitfall if you let it happen. So it kept consistent time but slightly forced back.

Those two things for me meant a very noticeable - once I was made aware that is - break in the flow going to and on the ride. The hats aren't too bad - you can take a good swat at 'em most of the time. Anyway so now I drill on moving around in accurate time and it's made a ton of difference in getting a stable feel.

And the click's not admissible.

[danrothmusic]

Good lord it's true.

[fusionfunk]

Great post DW! I got a good chuckle out of it. They are sad but true. We get all the blame! LOL!!!

[the DW]

Yup. The sad part for me is that I've experienced every single one of those laws personally.

Oh well.... that's what I get for being a drummer. When people come up to me and tell me, "Gee, I wish I could play the drums." I tell them, "No, you don't!"

[Rudolf von Hag…]

#11 A rock band in the sixties  had three musician and a drummer.

[twosticks]

#3 and 6 were true for me! I always liked to show up and set up early so that I could warm up or relax before a gig. I mostly liked hauling my own equipment because it was my stuff, but I sure would have loved some help with hauling the stands after I just help tote their amps in!

[rayboomboom]

#12 the drummers drums are irelevant.  That means you get half the space you need to set up and the guit player gets to put his amp in front of the bass drum.  Oh yeah, the drums go in the corner where the standing waves like to hang out.

[Rudolf von Hag…]

#13 When the guitarist comes into the studio while I am mixing, then first he does is taking the drums back by 12 dB.

[rayboomboom]

#14 drummer has to be quiet when everyone else tunes, but everyone else can make as much noise as they want when the drummer tunes.

[Rudolf von Hag…]

#15  Never leave a drummer alone with your wife or girlfriend, or he will tune her bongos and congas.

[44caliberKid]

So is this why its so hard to find a decent drummer?

[1001gear]

no