I've received similar feedback when trying to book work at one of the more upscale clubs in my area. I made a mid-week cold call to the club - which happens to be located in the city I live. I introduced myself - and was pleasantly surprised when the club owner said that he recognized me and had actually been out to see us at another bar a couple of weeks prior on the recommendation of one of his waitstaff.
The club owner was positive and complimentary - he liked the show, liked the setlist, etc. Then in the next breath, he explained that he'll never hire us. His reasons: We were too old and we were female fronted. His experience had been that female fronted acts didn't do well in his venue and was confident that his crowd doesn't respond well to a band of "50 somethings".
I wouldn't beat myself up over this rejection. The reality is that every band runs into gigs they simply can't land because the decision maker feels they're not the right fit for their venue.
All you can do in a situation like this to be as professional as possible (i.e., don't display any emotion that could be construed as indignation or butthurt), put as positive a spin on it as you can (...yes, we've heard that before at "______" - but managed to book a gig there when they had a band cancel, proved that we could win over their crowd - and are now in their regualr rotation).
Then stop back a couple of months from now ... the reality is that in this game - things change. I can't count the number of places I placed six months after being told we'd never get in the door.
This is a weird biz we're in - you gotta have a thick skin and be unabashed in your belief in the product you're selling.
The SpaceNorman
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