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Originally Posted by ckcondon
I am however, extremely fortunate. My wife was, is and has always been supportive of my playing. These days, I'm gigging 3-4 nights a month. If you figure that nominally there are 8 Friday and/or Saturday nights a month - that leaves 4-5 Friday and/or Saturday nights available for us to do whatever "couple" stuff we need to do. There are typically 2-3 "couple" events each year that she feels strongly are "must attend" things for me (typically weddings...). As long as I make sure I make "must attend" events - she never gives me any grief about playing.
The only time I ever find myself in the dog house is if I've had a little too much to drink and still drove home.
My wife comes out about once or twice a month to gigs. I've been married 18 years and have played at least 2500 shows during that time- she's used to it. Gigging is the norm in my house. Sometimes I'll feel a little guilty because I'm seldom home Wed-Sat but it's always been that way. My wife complains when I'm not booked on the weekend. 
I'm 43 tomorrow, wife is 44 in a couple months.
She came to see me play the night after we'd met, which is how I knew she was interested. We've been together a little over 10 years, and she has always known me as a gigging (and rehearsing) musician, initially doing all originals projects, and all covers for the past few years, often with a "primary " band and another 2-3 side projects going all at the same time.
I'd say in the entire time we've been together, she's seen me play maybe 15-20 times across all the acts I've been with, and maybe three or four times max in the past two years.
I don't press her to come, she doesn't press me about doing the gigs. I can live with that.
She came to see me play the night after we'd met, which is how I knew she was interested. We've been together a little over 10 years, and she has always known me as a gigging (and rehearsing) musician, initially doing all originals projects, and all covers for the past few years, often with a "primary " band and another 2-3 side projects going all at the same time.
I'd say in the entire time we've been together, she's seen me play maybe 15-20 times across all the acts I've been with, and maybe three or four times max in the past two years.
I don't press her to come, she doesn't press me about doing the gigs. I can live with that.
Originally Posted by Chicken Monkey
Originally Posted by guido61
Having played with guys whose wives made their musician lives a living hell - I thank my lucky stars that my wife "gets it" instead of trying to stop me from doing something that I love.
Originally Posted by SpaceNorman
Just nonsense for adults to behave that way, IMO.
But a marriage has to be a two way street as well. As much as she is supportive of my music and my day job, I try to be supportive of her work and activities as well. Pretty much every night this week she's called me asking me to pick up the kid from the sitter because she needs to work late. Puts me out to do that, as I have to reschedule some of my stuff, but my stuff is easier to reschedule than hers and so I do it gladly. I pitch a fit about that sort of stuff, and maybe she's not so understanding about me needing to go out of town 30 weekends a year....
Originally Posted by guido61
My wife never missed a gig until she got pregnant with our first child in 2000. She did manage to attend most of the shows until she was in her third trimester, though. Since then she's come to a grand total of 5 shows, I think. Priorities. 
It's unfortunate, though, in the sense that I'm a much better musician now and I sing lead (and am thus the focus of attention) most of the time. The last show she came to was a little over a year ago, and it was awesome to have her there. She was so supportive and complimentary - kind of blown away at how good we sounded as a band and how much I had improved as a singer - though she was always very encouraging in that department - I'd never be the singer I am without that support. So I have my wife to thank for being cool and encouraging instead of like a good friend of mine's wife who pretty much crapped all over his desire to gig (he is a terrific bassist). Having her "get it" and understand that I need this, that music is just a part of me, is one of her many cool features.
I know she has no desire to hang out in bars, though, and I don't think she particularly loved it even back in the old days...there were always cool people to hang out with back then, though - that old band really was like a family, and all the wives/girlfriends/friends/brothers made it out on a regular basis.
It's how the OP and I became friends, really! He auditioned for my band, then our drummer ended up not quitting. Then he formed a band, and he'd come see my band, I'd go see his...then I joined his after mine called it quits.
Brian V.
It's unfortunate, though, in the sense that I'm a much better musician now and I sing lead (and am thus the focus of attention) most of the time. The last show she came to was a little over a year ago, and it was awesome to have her there. She was so supportive and complimentary - kind of blown away at how good we sounded as a band and how much I had improved as a singer - though she was always very encouraging in that department - I'd never be the singer I am without that support. So I have my wife to thank for being cool and encouraging instead of like a good friend of mine's wife who pretty much crapped all over his desire to gig (he is a terrific bassist). Having her "get it" and understand that I need this, that music is just a part of me, is one of her many cool features.
I know she has no desire to hang out in bars, though, and I don't think she particularly loved it even back in the old days...there were always cool people to hang out with back then, though - that old band really was like a family, and all the wives/girlfriends/friends/brothers made it out on a regular basis.
It's how the OP and I became friends, really! He auditioned for my band, then our drummer ended up not quitting. Then he formed a band, and he'd come see my band, I'd go see his...then I joined his after mine called it quits.
Brian V.
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