I used to manage an artist who was exactly like your description (you can find his stuff 'around' under the old band name Pie, or the Richard Bitch, or his bedroom projects as Simp). I also used to be around J. Mascis during his "alt rock radio God" days .... much of it recorded at Fort Apache, where many of my friends worked and where some of my projects were sent.
You want a Jazzmaster. You're just picky about the 'right one,' and honestly: they're finicky {censored}ers, aren't they? He used to cycle through guitars, too - in fact, he has a blog about just that. He went through a Mosrite phase, currently in a (bizarre and troubling) Flying V phase ... but his current #1 is a Telemaster; a sort of combination parts build/mod of a JM and Tele hybrid.
Why don't you do the same? Or, start shopping JM's, hard. Hollowbodies will enthrall you for 4 months and then you'll get annoyed at not being able to turn way up and start over again.
BTW, I am SHOCKED that St. Blues is $2,500!!! There's one at my local Music Go Round for $500, except there's a huge chip on the headstock (like 2 x 3 inches; most of the paint). It was intriguing.
The Music Man recommendation was good, though I doubt that's the one for you. Nice guitars, though.
Nope, you're looking for a JM through a Marshall, it's ok, accept who you are and be glad it's so tasteful.