ThomasH

Originally posted by Rich4Once I'm not offended, I just think you're an asshole. That's okay, the world needs those, too. I agree. It's one thing to be a party animal and having some fun. Treating other people like {censored} is another....

I think that the late introduction of the future MrsKnobs worked well. As you said yourself, she wasn't the center of your story, and your story isn't about your entire life. It's a recount of a big turning point in your life, the persons around you at the time, and your emotions going through those changes. I'm not saying that MrsKnobs is no fun (), but in the context of this particular story, she is not that interesting. Kudos to you for a great story. Your writing is very good, and this material is definately so good that it ought to be published in some form. It's probably a bit on the short side for a novel. I think it might be a good foundation for a movie script actually. The story was very moving, and I really felt for Gail. I see her as a tormented soul who were caught up in some bad circumstances in her life. I'm sure she was a good person, and although she didn't turn out to be the love of your life, your affection for her is visible throughout the story. I'm not a country music guy by any means, but after reading the conclusion to your story this old Hank Williams song (which I haven't heard in years) popped into my head: Oh the rain is slowly falling and my heart is so sore Six more miles and leave my darling never on this earth to meet no more Six more miles to the graveyard six more miles long and sad Six more miles and leave my darling leave the best friend I ever had Oh I hear the train a coming bringing my darling back home Six more miles to the graveyard and I'll be left here all alone