fiveoclockhero

Naming guitars is kind of hot-button topic around here. There's a group of people that get quite snarky whenever the subject comes up. I'm a bit surprised that someone hasn't already wandered in and said something like "Guitars are just wood and wire they're just tools. Would I name my hammer?" lol... I noticed. Thanks for the heads-up. But if people can't tell I'm having fun with this topic, then they're the kind of oblivious, self-serious dorks who are probably infuriated by half the topics on this board. Play me off, Lucille...

This thread is already full of win. When the names are good (Hannah, Scarlett, Melissa Ann, Corey) they're good but even when they're bad (Surfy, Mutt, Hamertime) they're damn hilarious. If I were you, I'd show people Hamertime and then say "You can't touch this"

I've got a Melissa Ann, a Scarlett and an Etta (Place). Do you name acoustics? Damn, I don't need to give you any ideas. You've got this concept DOWN. Good call on those, I especially like Scarlett. Charlotte is good, too, of course. I think you should definitely name acoustics, yeah.

lol. OK, I laughed a little and you posted pictures of sexy females so you are approved. Also? Very nice guitar.

Do you name your guitars? You should know that there's a right and a wrong way to do it. There are a lot of people, youngsters for example, who don't "get it" and will never name their guitars. To those people, I encourage you to put yourself in the mind of a Depression era Delta bluesman. This will not only improve your guitar-naming skills, it will also help your PLAYING, both in terms of soulful melody lines, writing 50 years worth of material with less than five chords and also playing drunk. If you're doing it right, you'll immediately want to name a guitar after the first woman who cheated on you. Which brings me to my next point: YOU MUST NAME THE GUITAR AFTER A WOMAN. I've seen guys give their guitars dude names and that's missing the point. The guitar should be named after a wimmin who done you wrong. Also unacceptable: naming the guitar after a fictional character or something silly that you might name a dog. Next, you have to choose an old-fashioned ladies name. It can't be anything that a 24 year old would name is newborn baby daughter in the year 2010. Don't call your guitar "Kylie" or "MacKenzie" or "Schuyler" or "Caitlin". The best way to determine if your guitar is appropriately named is to ask yourself: Would a prostitute in a western share the same name? "Mae"? Beautiful! "Shred God"? Wrong! :poke: To sum up: Rose, Sadie and Shotgun Annie would all make great names for guitars. Brian, Chloe or Balrog would all be bad names. Addendum: Pun names are a bad idea. Guitarnold, Guitarlene and Guitarthur aren't clever, they are non-starters. Full disclosure: I once had a girlfriend named Sadie so I can use that legitimately.