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Cokeman

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  1. Originally Posted by KeysBear Because I dumped it before I got home or my wife would have figured I was in on the party.
  2. Originally Posted by KeysBear back when I was married we had two gigs on the weekend down in Key Largo, about an hour and a half from the house. I'm not the front guy who always got his share and ours so I was amused that a beautiful Hawaiian girl kept smiling at me all night. She finally came up to me when we were finished, wrapped her arms around my neck, and said I was going home with her. I thought of the wife and teenage girls at home, thanked the girl with her arms around my neck, told her it wasn't going to happen, and loaded the gear in the van with a smile. The band was staying at a friend's house that night so the next morning when I woke up I went to the kitchen to get some orange juice. As I walked by one of the bedrooms our lead singer was in bed with the Hawaiian girl on one side and a blonde on the other. SOB! I took a pic with my cell phone camera and shuffled off to get my OJ. Last week the lead singer's girlfriend who was his girlfriend at the time asked me about that night years ago because the blonde had ratted on him. With a straight face I told her nothing happened and it was a non story, no pic taken, it never happened. Oh, I forgot to mention that the blonde was his girlfriend's mother. That's a lead singer for you. Yeah, so why don't we get to see the pic?
  3. :::digging through the files of my memory::: My introduction to the groupie thing was when I moved to Alabama. I was 18, playing maybe my third gig, or so, in the first real "grown-up bar" I ever played at. This pair of sisters was checking me and the lead guitarist out. They were kinda slutty-looking, but when you're 18, that doesn't matter much. They introduce themselves to us during break, and soon, we are taking turns buying rounds, and feeling fretty good. The guitarist leans over to me, at one point when they went for a potty break, and says; "These chicks have been around the block...I've got a box of rubbers in the car - make sure you get a few, and give me your wallet, so I can lock it up with mine, in the trunk." I get the dirty blonde sister, while the guitarist gets the brunette. Once we are back at their apartment, I honestly didn't have much of a clue what to do with this "experienced" chick, so she gives me my first little hit of coke, and once the clothes are off, she just kinda guides me through it. I'm about to bust a third load, when the other sister comes in unannounced, and exclaims that my guitarist has puked in the toilet and passed out on her bathroom floor. The one I am with says, "oh no...well, you can just sleep in here." My 18 year old mind was really hoping I was having a threesome at this point, but the other one got a blanket and a pillow and curled up on the carpet, while we went at it for another 15 minutes or so. When we were done, she asked me how old I was, and I guess she was kind of surprised. She told me "...well, you're way ahead of the game now, I've taught you a lot, tonight." Then she told me she was 30, and I must have shown I was kind of weirded out, then she told me "don't worry, hon...you did very good, and you don't have to tell anybody you made it with a woman 12 years older than you...I understand." When I woke up, brunette sister was cleaning her bathroom, and guitarist had cleaned up somewhat and was sitting out on the stairwell, obviously embarassed that he both hurled and didn't get any, as a result. The blonde sister thanked me for the fun and I returned the comment. Never saw those two again. Not a great story, but it's a great memory, as I felt like I had officially entered manhood at that point. That's a kickass story!
  4. What did you do, go to an erotic story website a do a copy/paste?
  5. Didn't know this thread existed but..... One time my bass player and I took these two girls back to his place from a show. I thought he knew them, he thought I knew them. The next morning both of us asked "so, how long have y'all known _______"and thats when we found out that they were just randoms from the show. Yay. Another is this show: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phwtA4vGCDk Someone wanted us to play "It aint no fun (if my homies can't have none)by snoop dogg. We didn't know the song but we didn't let that stop us. Anyway, if you'll notice there is some fairly cute girl in a blue dress dancing at me (I'm the singer) and a .... um.... larger one... on the stage who takes out our drum kit at 2:58 of the video. Anyway, they ended up going home with myself and another nameless member of my band (who took the...um....bigger... one). Well, in the morning I see that my dog has gone through the purse of the smaller one (mine) and I notice one of the things he has removed would be her lone star card. For those of you who don't know what that would be, it is TX's version of food stamps. Well, one person told another person and TO THIS DAY I can't go into that bar without one bartender saying "cash or credit only here, sir. We don't take food stamps". Why were you playing in front of the beer cooler at the local mini-mart?
  6. Originally posted by fishmanrod I have no groupie stories. Married 21 years, never strayed. don't even go to strip clubs, it upsets her. I'm cool with that. How boring is that? But I have no trouble looking at myself in the mirror in the morning, ever. Seen a few pretty hot girls at gigs though, and it blows me away they thing showing their boobies to the band is fun. What is up with that?......I mean, I would not dangle the package when I went to see a female performer. Hey, is that a tread? Female forumites care to comment? Who has more fun than musicians? Cheers! The people on stage want to see something big. That's why it works for the female flashers and not you.
  7. Originally posted by myway HI, Heres a good one. We were hanging out in a real rat hole rehearsal studio one night. I t was a real good night. Lots of people hanging around, and some halfway decent girls. There was a bunch of us, like three or four different bands hanging around in one rehearsal room. Suddenly we notice a guy missing. A bass player who had the reputation of being the nastiest, ugliest, most disgusting human being you can think of, all 325 lbs of him .Were all looking around for him. Suddenly we hear this heavy breathing and panting going on, along with some pretty good moaning coming from the bathroom. We knew someone was getting laid, we were all just laughing. Then all the sudden KABOOM! Something happened. Well turned out the disgusting guy was banging a really big disgusting girl on the sink in the bathroom. Sink couldn't take the weight and fell of the wall. Water going everywhere. Worse part is when we all ran in to investigate. The two of them did not even bother to stop, they just kept on going while everyone was standing there yelling at them for breaking the sink. That's awesome!
  8. Originally posted by Devius It's a lot nicer to give head to a girl when you don't need to wade through all that hair and pick your teeth afterwards. Or try to get that pube off the back of your tongue that's gagging you.
  9. Originally posted by BeauNasty I have a weird phenomenon that occurs with big women. I drink a lot and go home with a skinny super model...I wake up with a big girl. I don't get it. Sounds like you've been hanging out with Tony Robbins.
  10. Originally posted by fuzzball The hide the pig thing is just wrong, I could never do that to a fan. I agree. Pretty bad.
  11. Originally posted by Rich4Once I wonder if he had a good time with her in that same bed a few hours later? Sloppy seconds anyone? Yuk!!
  12. Originally posted by vanlatte Meh...B.S. meter is going off the charts here... So is mine.
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