Originally posted by MrKnobs
The problem is, the part of our brain that attraction takes place in is much older and more primitive than the more recent part of our brain that allows abstract thought. This has created conflict between our genetic disposition to seek out females with positive child bearing features (ample breasts, wide hips, healthy, etc) and faces that look similar to our own (but not too similar) vs. good judgement and consideration of non-physical characteristics such as intelligence, loyalty, good nature, etc.
Overlay this with the not-so-subliminal messages from advertising, TV, movies, and society in general and you can understand why everyone is a mess to some degree.
If there is any doubt that the principal components of attraction are genetic, consider any of the well established studies showing babies reacting positively to symmetrical faces and negatively to asymmetrical faces.
Similarly, a woman's attraction is programmed to select the best father for her (potential) children. Hers' is more complicated than the male's strategy, since she must not only mate with the best physical specimens but also keep one around as protection for her children. Thus, women are attracted to good looks and bad boys but also stability and a good provider. Ideally, they would find this all in one person, some sort of powerful crown prince among men with dashing good looks who regularly dispenses high seminal volume while exhibiting protective behavior toward the woman and her children.
Unfortunately, this idealized man only exists in cheesy romance novels, which are sold by the metric ton each and every day to lonely housewives, spinsters, adolescents, attractive female forum moderators, and the occasional crafty man such as myself who reads them to add to his knowledge base about the female psyche.
Terry D.
I'd like to add that there's a factor often overlooked by most people and which in my opinion sets us apart from other animals, as much as we still rely heavily on instinct for many of our mating choices.
I call it spiritual empathy, but someone else may call it intuition or whatever, and the only physical evidence of its existance is a sparkle in someone's eyes that often can't be seen by anyone else but you.
I try to pay attention as I think that's how I'll find someone I can actually get along with, and not just for a short while.