Members gardo Posted June 16, 2015 Members Share Posted June 16, 2015 Got one let's hear it.What do you call a guitarist with no girl friend?homeless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members billybilly Posted June 17, 2015 Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering A minor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Freeman Keller Posted June 17, 2015 Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 I only know jokes about banjo players. What's the difference between a banjo and a trampoline? You take your shoes of to jump on a trampoline. How do you know if the stage is level? The banjo player drools out of both sides of his mouth. What's the definition of perfect pitch? Throwing a banjo out the window and hitting an accordion player. more to come... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DeepEnd Posted June 17, 2015 Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 ^ Me too. What do you call a banjo player in a suit? The defendant. How long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar? Nobody knows. Why was the amplifier invented? So the guitarist would have a place to put his beer. What did the blues guitarist’s tombstone read? “I didn’t wake up this morning.” Why do they bury guitarists six feet under? Because deep down they are very nice people. How many bluegrass guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They won’t touch anything electric. What’s the difference between an Electric Guitar and an Acoustic Guitar? The Electric Guitar burns longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gardo Posted June 17, 2015 Author Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 Why is the laundromat a bad place for a guitar player to meet women?If she can't afford a washer and dryer she can't afford to take care of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gardo Posted June 17, 2015 Author Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 How many amp techs does it take to change a light bulb ? Just one,but he has to go through a whole case of bulbs to find the right one and then he complains that these new bulbs just aren't as good as the old ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gardo Posted June 17, 2015 Author Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 I started playing banjo. Turned out I didn't like it either Take a banjo to a party and you're all alone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Caffeinated Cat Posted June 17, 2015 Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? Ten - one to change the bulb and nine to say "I could have done it better." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gardo Posted June 17, 2015 Author Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? Ten - one to change the bulb and nine to say "I could have done it better." If the guitarists are country pickers it only takes three. One to do the work and two to write a song about the old bulb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 1001gear Posted June 17, 2015 Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 What did the guitarist do when he won the lottery? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gardo Posted June 17, 2015 Author Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 What did the guitarist do when he won the lottery? Don't know, what did he do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Freeman Keller Posted June 17, 2015 Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 Don't know, what did he do? Obviously keep playing guitar until the money runs out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil O'Keefe Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Got one let's hear it. What do you call a guitarist with no girl friend? homeless I always thought that was about drummers, but I suppose the same basic principle applies to most musicians. What's the difference between a drummer and an extra-large pizza? An extra-large pizza can feed a family of four. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bernardo gui Posted June 17, 2015 Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 How do you get the guitar player in a band to turn down his volume ?Put sheet music in front of him...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil O'Keefe Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil O'Keefe Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 How do you make the guitarist turn down? Put sheet music in front of him / her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil O'Keefe Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 What do you call a session accordion player with a cell phone, answering service and pager? A hopeless optimist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil O'Keefe Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 How many producers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Producers don't screw in light bulbs - that's what hot tubs are for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil O'Keefe Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? None - the keyboard player does it with his left hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil O'Keefe Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 What's the difference between a bass and an onion? Nobody cries when you chop up a bass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil O'Keefe Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 How can you tell when a drummer is at your door? The knocking keeps speeding up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Preacher Posted June 17, 2015 Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 How can you tell when a drummer is at your door? The knocking keeps speeding up. I love that one. I also enjoy the punchline: Because he never knows when to come in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WRGKMC Posted June 17, 2015 Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 That's a good one I hadn't heard before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WRGKMC Posted June 17, 2015 Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 Q: Why are so many guitar player jokes one liners?A: So the rest of the band can understand them. Q: What do you say to a guitar player in a 3-piece suit?A: “How do you plead? Q: What’s black and blue and lying in a ditch?A: A guitarist who’s told too many drummer jokes. Q: How do you know you've found a Pro Drummer?He stops playing at the end of a song. Q: How does a lead guitarist change a light bulb?A: He holds it and the world revolves around him. Q: What do you throw a drowning guitar player?A: His amp Q: What does a Heavy Metal Musician use for birth control?A: His personality. Q: What’s the hardest thing to play on guitar.”A: Music that will earn you a paycheck Q: What is the definition of an optimist?A1: A guitar player with a website.A2 A guitar player with a business cardA3 A guitar player with a spare set of stringsA4 A guitar player in a studio Q. What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a bass player?A. A tattoo Q: What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig?A: Would you like fries with that? Q: How does a guitar player protect his Guitar from being stolen?A: Store it in a Bass case. Q: Why do scientists prefer to use guitar players over rats for drug experiments? A: Because they breed faster. Q: What’s the difference between an electric guitar player and a vacuum cleaner?A: When you unplug a vacuum cleaner it doesn’t suck anymore. Q: What’s the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist? A: A rock guitarist learns 3 chords, practices for 3 months and plays to a crowd of 30,000 people. A jazz guitarist learns 30,000 chords, practices for 30 years, and plays to a crowd of 3 people. A typical rock band is… A great guitar player on lead guitar, a crappy guitar player covering rhythm, a guitar player that sucked so bad at it he switched to bass, a singer that can’t play guitar at all but still insists on strapping on an acoustic and strumming along during the slow songs, and a drummer that hates guitar players. Two guitar players walked by a bar ...... it COULD happen! East Coast Yo Cat asks “How do I sound?”West Coast Yo Cat asks “How does my sound look?” A band turns up to rehearsal and finds the bass player punching the crap out of a ten-year old kid.The band say “Stop! Stop!”Bass player says “No! This little bastard put one of the strings on my bass out of tune!”Band says “Well just retune the string!”Bass player (still punching little kid) says “He won’t tell me which one!!” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members knotty Posted June 17, 2015 Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 I could google guitar jokes, but I wont. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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