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How do you tell someone--gently--that his playing sucks?


DeepEnd

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Pretty much what it says. Last night, I gave a coworker who is new to guitar a ride home and he asked me to come up so he could show me something on guitar. He played along with "Meat Is Murder" by the Smiths and--well--it sounded bad. Frankly, I'd never heard the song before and I could've probably done about as well. His baby sitter sat through a minute or so and left. I tried to gently suggest that his version needed work but he kept saying he had it nailed. I know my own playing isn't great, which is why I stick to rhythm. It won't be doing him any favors to let him keep thinking he's Clapton so how do I convince him?

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Record his performance, then play it back to him - that will either cause discouragement or spur him on to develop more as a player. If he's strong and zen-like it will be the later; if he's blind to himself and wrapped in self-delusion it will be the former - you may need to bolster him if that's the case. You may become his mentor.

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Unless he's trying out for your band or wants to sit in on a set, I'd just leave it alone, let him be in blissful ignorance. If he ever wants to jam with you, thats another story. In that case, go ahead and start jamming and give pointers as you play, and if he still doesn't get it, tell him that his style just isn't jiving with yours.

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essentially juicy is right. But I would bring it up later in a conversation that seems totally unrelated to what happened. So in a week or two say something like "you know a great that I use to improve is to record myself and then listen back. There's this cool totally free recording software called Audacity...here let me write that down for you....blah blah blah"...

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I don't think you should say anything to him. Music is scared space and if he is digging it you should just let him have that. I wouldn't want to take that from anyone.

 

Yep, let someone else tell him. lol.

 

I'm all about positive reinforcement, nothing to be gained criticizing. I would say, "I'm wondering what it sound like it you... ". If he doesn't get it, walk away and plug your ears.

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I have a recording app installed on my phone so I may take that approach. I found the tab for the song he wants to play and I'd be more than happy to help him. If that doesn't work, I guess I could start making excuses to avoid hearing him play but that seems wrong somehow. Anyway, thanks.

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Pretty much what it says. Last night' date=' I gave a coworker who is new to guitar a ride home and he asked me to come up so he could show me something on guitar. He played along with "Meat Is Murder" by the Smiths and--well--it sounded bad. Frankly, I'd never heard the song before and I could've probably done about as well. His baby sitter sat through a minute or so and left. I tried to gently suggest that his version needed work but he kept saying he had it nailed. I know my own playing isn't great, which is why I stick to rhythm. It won't be doing him any favors to let him keep thinking he's Clapton so how do I convince him?[/quote']

 

Uh, I saw this post earlier today during my picnic basket hour. Couldn't figure out what to say since you already said he thought he nailed it.

 

Circling back now

 

Processed in my brain a bit more

 

The only thing to do would be for you to learn the song. Tell him thanks for the song suggestion, then show him how you learned to play it.

 

I'm in a neighborhood band and we've had 3 other guitar players cycle through, and if one of them is playing a song better than I've done it, I recognize that immediately and want to pick up whatever ditty I was missing. It's aggravating sometimes when that happens because you may have learned it note to note from some video or tab, but there are so many interpretations out there and I quickly spot when folks have nailed nuances that I've missed. Then I want to fix it.

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You were a beginner at one point.......

Yes, and I knew I was a beginner and that I played like a beginner. In other words, badly. I didn't know at first but exposure to much better guitarists went a long way toward bringing the point home. For that matter, in at least some respects, I still play badly. I have nothing against his being a beginner. I have nothing against his playing badly except that it sounds, well, bad. I don't, however, think he should go through life thinking he's playing well when he isn't. The good old bell curve says most of us are average at best and I'm well on the crap side of the curve. And, at least for now, so is he.

 

. . . The only thing to do would be for you to learn the song. Tell him thanks for the song suggestion, then show him how you learned to play it.

 

I'm in a neighborhood band and we've had 3 other guitar players cycle through, and if one of them is playing a song better than I've done it, I recognize that immediately and want to pick up whatever ditty I was missing. . . . Then I want to fix it.

Trust me, I've learned from a lot of guitarists over the years. I didn't get this mediocre overnight.

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is he married?

 

if so, tell him that you heard a rumour that his wife has been having an affair with another coworker ... then say "oh and by the way... you're quite a crappy guitar player"

 

the guitar playing thing will seem insignificant compared to the fact that his life is crumbling around him

 

then, after he finds out that his lovely wife has been faithful, he'll sit down to ponder your take on his musicianship... it won't bother him too much as he'll be flooded with relief due to the fact that his life isn't crumbling around him

 

good luck

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Being a musician requires being a Student, a Mentor and a Performer. You have to be good at all three if you want to succeed working with others. Even with your best efforts helping to show them the ropes, you can expect most to drop out for any number of reasons. On the top of that list is Wives and Girl friends. Most don't want to see their men strutting around on stage any more then a man would want his girlfriend strutting around in front of allot of men. They will either knowingly or unknowingly make that him give up his music over time. Its rare when you can find one who really understands what's in back of the art and can tolerate or even encourage it.

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Being a musician requires being a Student' date=' a Mentor and a Performer. You have to be good at all three if you want to succeed working with others. Even with your best efforts helping to show them the ropes, you can expect most to drop out for any number of reasons. On the top of that list is Wives and Girl friends. Most don't want to see their men strutting around on stage any more then a man would want his girlfriend strutting around in front of allot of men. They will either knowingly or unknowingly make that him give up his music over time. Its rare when you can find one who really understands what's in back of the art and can tolerate or even encourage it.[/quote']

 

Awesome thought of the day, agree completely...... but off-topic

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Being a musician requires being a Student' date=' a Mentor and a Performer. You have to be good at all three if you want to succeed working with others. Even with your best efforts helping to show them the ropes, you can expect most to drop out for any number of reasons. On the top of that list is Wives and Girl friends. Most don't want to see their men strutting around on stage any more then a man would want his girlfriend strutting around in front of allot of men. They will either knowingly or unknowingly make that him give up his music over time. Its rare when you can find one who really understands what's in back of the art and can tolerate or even encourage it.[/quote']

 

 

And thats got what do do with it.?

I have golf buggy for sale if its of any interest. :philpalm:

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