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From deranged to pathetic

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  • From deranged to pathetic

    https://soundcloud.com/patrickaei/sets/thirty-two

    I recorded a new album, finished it only last week. I recorded demos, learned the songs, many of them not making the final cut, and this is as good as it's going to get... when I'm singing. I've written a lot of songs that I've never released because I wanted to perform them in a band format, but you need a band for that. All but one of these songs are from mid to late July. Several don't have choruses and follow the same musical pattern through out. Yes, some of the songs are musically one-track-minded. Some only have two chords.

    Lyrically, you may be able to see that I've been suffering from severe depression for the past three months. Things are looking up, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm happy every day. I feel the album is really dark, but I played it for a friend who referred to it as "soothing." An odd word to use for a singer who sings with his throat and often goes out of tune.

    My acoustic guitar was a Lag with a five-voice modeling system, and I recorded with either studio or hall reverb in my Digitech RP-150 directly into my laptop. This is actually the best acoustic I've owned, and I love the onboard EQ and modeling system. I didn't add any bass on the Digitech, but I kept the treble and mids on 6 with a Fender Twin model. There were two songs recorded with my microphone, and you'll immediately be able to tell which ones because the vocals are a little obscured.

    However, this is the first album I've recorded with no instrumentals. I've recorded vocal oriented albums in the past, but always with instrumentals. There is one instrumental section at the end of a song, which I recorded with a Lag Imperator T66 and my Epiphone Thunderbird. Obviously, I love Lag and Epiphone instruments.

    So, if you don't like the album, I certainly understand. I'm not sure I like it, but lately I haven't enjoyed much of things I used to. Music is certainly one of them, but I've always wanted to make a vocal album and I liked the lyrics. I wasn't planning on promoting this at all, but I've had some support lately who wanted me to. If you happen to enjoy anything, I'm really flattered, and thank you all for listening.
    ...

  • #2
    I;m listening to it right now and enjoying it. Thanks for sharing!
    Please visit my website www.treeguitarworks.com

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    • #3
      Genuinely sorry to hear of the depression bucks. It can be a bugger to shake. Take care.
      “One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching”
      Gerard Way

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      • #4
        I am really impressed. I am at track 9 right now! Not much keeps my interest these days.

        I think it's excellent. Congrats.

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        • #5
          Cool, quite a departure from what you normally do. Dug "white wall living" particularly.
          "Prayer is when you talk to God. Meditation is when you're listening. Playing the piano ['guitar'] allows you to do both at the same time." -Kelsey Grammer

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          • #6
            Thanks for listening, guys.
            ...

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            • #7
              Listening now...it's different!. As I've gotten older (over 50?...lol) I've found it harder to concentrate, focus, and dedicate. So I compliment you on completing this project. You should be proud of it!

              For me...It's mostly laziness. Some of it was gear struggles- I made some changes and never really found my true sound again. Lost interest from trying so hard finding my sound. Also had a bad band experience. Also found BF1942 on the internet haha. A combination of things.

              I encourage you to perform your songs in a solo setting. I know a local guy who had an AWESOME band for several years. One day he just got fed up with the cost of managing the band- not just money...emotional and physical investment. He's gone solo and couldn't be happier. It is still a lot of work for him- he's full time musician. His skills with his solo set have seen TREMENDOUS improvement. I live near the beach and see sickening solo or duo acts...as they play Brown eyed girl for the 8 thousandth time---but real songs, real feelings and sincere artists, well it can work. He's taken some of his band songs and made them solo songs, good songs remain good songs stripped down to the core.

              I am sorry for your depression struggles. I know you aren't asking for help here- but I noticed you said you don't enjoy the things you were/are doing. That was a huge flag for me! It's okay to change your interests. Louis CK said his father started painting at 68. I've seen older people take up mountain or trail bike riding- excerice is EXTREMELY important- and mt biking is a great way to get exercise, get outdoors and let your mind go into "float" mode. Good diet...low-moderate drinking- no smoking.

              But find something you DO enjoy! It's perfectly natural for our tastes and interests to change...and we have to kind of follow along...go with the flow if you will. There are so many things to do and see in this world. It doesn't matter if you want to be a hermit book worm or ninja assasin- do what you enjoy.

              I find music particularly enjoyable because of the ability to share it. Even if it just a coffee shop...you can reach people, you can make them laugh, cry, even mad lol.... it's amazing.

              Well...keep your chin up and stay strong man. Thanks for sharing your music!

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              • #8
                Oh I almost forgot! I love my Epi too. I've had Jacksons, Hamers, ESP, Charvel, and many others. My EPi is my go to and good friend:


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                • AJ6stringsting
                  AJ6stringsting commented
                  Editing a comment
                  She's beautiful !!!!
                  I got an Epi Les Paul Custom too.

              • #9
                Steve, thanks for your concern and sound advice. Louis CK is actually a hero of mine. I've been exercising a little more lately, I don't drink or smoke, and I've been playing some different music. For instance, I covered the Kink's "I Go to Sleep" for a close friend today, something I normally don't do, and I'm enjoying playing acoustic guitar with some bass. I'm happier than I was three weeks ago when I was too numb to feel anything.

                I've considered playing live, but never done so because I'm sort of a shut-in, and I'm nervous as to how people will receive me. Unlike the persona I sometimes take on the board and in public, I'm actually a very timid person. I'll look into the ninja assassin job since my academic studies make me a natural bookworm hermit.
                ...

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                • AJ6stringsting
                  AJ6stringsting commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Just be humble and focused .... things will go your way !!!!

              • #10
                Funny because I too am a bit of shut in, loner. When I am out with people, even my friends, I am often not sure what to even say. I find myself nodding my head a lot...lol.

                But when I am on stage or playing? It's completely different!. I've often become a madman, showboater, even a chit chatter! You said "persona"...and that's what it is. It's a different me up there- the one that loves music and loves to entertain people.

                are you and your music good enough? I'm not sure- but I do know that people tend to get better the more they do something. But you have to want it. Also...MANY people are comfortable playing for themselves too...or making these personal recordings like you shared with us. Perfectly fine. Don't put any pressure on yourself. If it's good or strikes a chord (haha), people will know and you have to trust them or take it for what it is worth. Don't judge yourself, let them do it....if you decide to allow the opportunity.

                Take care and keep up the studies!

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                • #11
                  I'm at work right now and can't listen to your tracks but your depression situation is in my prayers. BTW, I've liked Epiphones for years. Never played a Lag though.
                  Official HCAG “Theory-Challenged Hack”
                  Member of the IBANEZ ACOUSTIC ASSASSINS
                  Proud Member of The Alvarez Alliance
                  Member of the Schecter Society
                  Person-2-Person on the Web

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                  • #12
                    Great Music man .... made my day !!!!
                    stay focused on the good things, the music and the good ones in your Life and have Faith / Believe !!!!!
                    Guns don't kill people .... Fathers with beautiful Daughters do !!!!

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                    • #13
                      I think your songs and voice are very good! Make a little sign and post it somewhere where you wil see it often; "LIFE EQUALS CHANGE!
                      Last edited by mark theriac; 08-18-2014, 08:04 AM.

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                      • #14
                        Sorry it took so long. Finally listened to your album. Very well done.
                        Official HCAG “Theory-Challenged Hack”
                        Member of the IBANEZ ACOUSTIC ASSASSINS
                        Proud Member of The Alvarez Alliance
                        Member of the Schecter Society
                        Person-2-Person on the Web

                        Comment


                        • #15
                          Thank you all for listening. This year was big for me because I returned to recording LPs under my own name and made some of my best work. I think this may be my last album, at least for the world to hear. I recorded a full Ambient album, some of my best work, immediately after completing this vocal album, but it will probably never see the light of day since it's for a special friend. I've had a lot of disappointment in the past eight years of recording and releasing my work, but I'm pleased that you all appear to enjoy this album. It took a large chunk of my soul to complete this one, and maybe more people will come to appreciate it as time goes on. However, I think my time as a musician and forum member here is dwindling as my life changes and my previous interests die. I'm not planning on ending my life, but I want to let this part of it go and hopefully recover and become a better person for it. For anyone I may've offended or hurt, I apologize. I'm not always myself when I post here, and sometimes the crazy slips out a little too much. That's over for now, though. Again, I thank you all.
                          ...

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