retiring from live performance

[maltomario]

After 3years of hard work getting band from basement to the big stages.. I'm hanging it up. Focusing on my family, career and finishing my MSEE thesis research.

 

I know its the right thing to do but I'm still bummed out. I love playing to crowds and it will be an adjustment

 

Any tips from ex semi-pro players out there on how to go back to fill the void?

 

My last show is in February - that's how long my replacement needs to learn the tunes (80s hard rock/hair metal). Last few shows are gonna be emotional for me

[grape]

I'm in a similar situation, our band just played their last gig (with me anyway) last night and I'm getting started on my actuarial job and I have to regularly pass very intense exams that require a big time commitment. On top of that I'm moving to a new city so I won't know any musicians.

I think it's ok. I mean, music isn't something that you have to apologize to for taking a break from. It's something we do for pleasure and passion, so you can always take out your guitar for your own enjoyment, and once you get your MSEE finished, you can think about starting a new band.

I would assume most of the people on this forum have to keep a day job so they can keep playing music and buying equipment. At least you're walking away while you still love it. It'll still be there when you need it again.

[DavidMgT]

I made a similar decision when I started grad school. I fill the void with home recording - it is a whole new world of music and I've enjoyed it greatly.

[GreatDane]

no {censored}, really? let me first say, i respect your decision and agree that things like family should be prioritized higher than running a band.

 

but i'm sincerely going to miss reading your gig reports and seeing pics of shows you've just played.

 

how to fill the void? prior to welcoming our son (now almost two) into the world, i was gigging regularly. i put all of that on hold once we got closer to his due date for many of the reasons i'm sure you're confronting now. since then, i've been subbing in local bands and regional acts when there's a need for a stand-in, playing a few charity benefits and experimenting with a lot of different local musicians through various recording projects. it's frustrating and liberating, both at the same time. but the important thing is that i'm still playing while i'm focusing on my family. my wife (and best friend) appreciates it. my beautiful son appreciates it. my newborn daughter will soon come to appreciate it. and that's worth more than a regular gigging life any day, in my opinion.

 

now you'll have some free weekends to take a drive down to my neck of the woods with the family and a few guitars. the ladies can get acquainted and we can get lost in some gear. you in?

[smorgdonkey]

I have always loved music in one way or another. As soon as I realized the fulfillment of having an original song fleshed out and recorded I really didn't care for performing live much at all though people still wanted the live performances. I dislike the hauling gear and the set up/tear down aspect and a studio can be more or less left mostly intact.

 

So...I guess what I am saying is what David just said but probably for different reason(s) and not an aspect that you would have in common as you seem to really enjoy the live show part of it.

[tlbonehead]

After 3years of hard work getting band from basement to the big stages.. I'm hanging it up. Focusing on my family, career and finishing my MSEE thesis research. I know its the right thing to do but I'm still bummed out. I love playing to crowds and it will be an adjustment Any tips from ex semi-pro players out there on how to go back to fill the void? My last show is in February - that's how long my replacement needs to learn the tunes (80s hard rock/hair metal). Last few shows are gonna be emotional for me

 

 

how old are you? Why not just go with the idea that it has to be put on the backburner for now because other things are a priority and leave the idea open that you can still gig sometime in the future?

[_pete_]

Sorry to hear it but you have to do what's important in your life.

 

That said, you'll be back on a stage again at some point in the future. Once it's in your blood it never lets go.

I played live for most of my early years then stopped in 1988.

In 2005 I started again and I'm glad I did.

[Special J]

I too respect your decision. I gave up the band thing a couple years back just before my daughter was born. I decided that concentrating on my career and spending my free time watching her grow up was more important to me. I'm just now starting to get back into playing again, same as Ben, by jamming, sitting in on friend's gigs and the like.

You can always get back into gigging. If it's in your blood like it is in mine (and I think it probably is) you will. In the meantime, enjoy the time with your family, and best of luck with everything else!

[Cortfan]

I did the band thing in high school about 400+ gigs. Got out in 1970 to do the wife/family/career/life thing. After kids left home, got back in a band (2000-2008- did gigs 3-4 times a month. Then had to change careers, so no band from 2008 until present. Work schedule will not permit. May get a bid job in may/june 2011, which will allow to do weekend gigs. My old band will let me return. Moral of the story....don't give up, and don't sell your gear.

[LeonardScaper]

I'm closing in on 59 years.....I 'left the stage' a long time ago.

....leave the idea open that you can still gig sometime in the future.....

 

[tlbonehead]

Sorry to hear it but you have to do what's important in your life. That said, you'll be back on a stage again at some point in the future. Once it's in your blood it never lets go. I played live for most of my early years then stopped in 1988. In 2005 I started again and I'm glad I did.

Yep I quit from about '84-93 to play sports. Been gigging fairly regularly since then.

[DavidMgT]

Your need for music will not abandon you, but it may well slip into the back seat for a while. Let your music evolve. Set yourself up with a nice home studio and keep honing your skills so that you can.....

 

 

Well said. I have evolved far more as a player during my post-gigging years. Rather than learning songs, rehearsing, and going through the motions at bars, I have had the luxury of focusing on the instrument, my approach to it, and finding my own voice. Plus I got a PhD along the way:)

 

All in all it was worth it:thu:

[lincoln40]

You can always just join a local bar band. You'd still be on stage.

[wimpy77]

sorry to hear man.

[metal0822]

all this talk about grad school, its all ive been thinking about these past few months. i graduate with my bachelors in 3 weeks. in applied engineering: electronics, pretty much like yours mario.

[Doctor49]

I quit playing completely for 15 or so years when job committments became too much and international travel became a necessity.
I quit that three years ago, picked up again and I am a much better player and musician for it.

Drastic and in your case unnecessary! But a change is often as good as a rest and it will still be a large part of life.

[notjonahbutnoah]

Man, that's noble.

 

I'd need heroin or meth to fill that void.

 

Playing out is the only thing the really makes me forget all my woes, I've got a sick feeling just thinking about not being able to.

 

Just don't quit!

[BeanoBoy]

After 3years of hard work getting band from basement to the big stages.. I'm hanging it up. Focusing on my family, career and finishing my MSEE thesis research. I know its the right thing to do but I'm still bummed out. I love playing to crowds and it will be an adjustment Any tips from ex semi-pro players out there on how to go back to fill the void? My last show is in February - that's how long my replacement needs to learn the tunes (80s hard rock/hair metal). Last few shows are gonna be emotional for me

 

 

I was a gigging musician for most of my 'adult' ( not sure if any full time Rock musicians are truly adults!) life. Played full time back in the 70's and 80's when gigs were plentiful and people were into live music, at least here in the Northeast. When I reached my 50's, I married my current wife and decided my love affair with the road was over. I've filled the gap by writing original songs and instrumentals and learning how to make decent recordings of them. At the moment I'm a member of Taxi currently trying to sell my songs on their listings. Havin' fun with it. Miss the audiences, not the late hours and at times, asshole bandmates and clubowners.

[Crisco]

Man, that's noble. I'd need heroin or meth to fill that void. Playing out is the only thing the really makes me forget all my woes, I've got a sick feeling just thinking about not being able to. Just don't quit!

 

Remember you'll need teeth to eat with and a mind to be somewhat rational.

Not saying either's a good choice! as I would go get lost in Hydroland. That's enough void fillin fun right there.

At least Mario's getting out while he's happy and not pulling a Phil Rudd and gettin missin with no real explanation except a fist-fight and a runny nose.

 

Enjoy your time off, man!

[maltomario]

thanks guys. to answer a previous post - i'm 34 years old, not too young, not quite super old yet. the live music scene here in upstate NY kinda sucks, lots of subpar musicians who think they're teh awsomz (WTF is up with that?) but don't put in the time or effort to improve. Lots of venues will screw you. topping it off, people aren't going out like they used to - there are so many things to compete with their free time (tv shows, interwebz, ipod, video games, porn, etc) that going out to see a live show isn't quite the event like it used to be.

I am lucky to have played some awesome shows - most memorable being places like casinos opening for blood sweat and tears, another time at a casino and some members of The Drifters told me "i can make that guitar scream". also playing at watkins glen raceway in front of 1000's of people, having kids come up to me and ask for a pick, playing some festivals where we just blow the doors off and seeing peoples mouths drop when I hit that first 'A' chord through our 14kW PA

All along I've maintained my respect. Lots of business owners/venues respect me for how I ran the band, and maintained a high degree of professionalism, while going above and beyond what other bands would do. For example, I would make up some funny posters to help drum up crowds. Venues loved it and they would actually call me, wanting the next show posters ASAP. here's a few samples of work i've done:












I've been archiving all my show pictures so I have plenty of memories to look back on. I'm not giving up music, just the gigging aspect.

I've poured so much effort and work into this band. If I didn't do it, it wouldn't get done. I'm sure you guys in bands know what I mean. I've never asked for extra compensation even though for every hour on stage, I put in 5-6 hours off stage booking shows, dealing with contracts, venues, endorsements, technical issues / gear upgrades, setlist generation, new song suggestions, marketing / advertising, facebook and website updates.. and of course being the first guy there and one of the last one to leave, helping our sound guy with his heavy stuff.

I had put my all into this hoping to attract the attention of regional/national bands and possibly moving up a notch as a pro musician but there are so many bands out there, many of whom suck, that its difficult for anyone "talent scouts" to parse through them all.

So with other stuff going on in my life (parents going through ugly divorce, lot of work at my job, thesis work, son isn't getting any younger, etc) I figured my "free time" would be better spent working on other aspects of my life instead the music scene. I don't really drink much (1-2 beers max), never used drugs and I'm faithful to my wife so the whole typical musician thing of getting hammered, getting high and banging chicks is not really who I am or what I'm about. But man there have been many opportunities with some insanely hot women that I politely declined, so I hope the man upstairs has an awesome minty '59 les paul guitar waiting for me up there!

I've saved every penny (alot of pennies!) I made and reinvested it in some nice guitars over the past few years. So its definitely not a wasted effort.

My current band is auditioning guitar players but multiple members have expressed interest in not playing anymore without my leadership as they don't like the direction the band is going without me there. Funny how that works out eh? I don't think the band will survive without me doing all the behind the scenes work.

I've already got a full recording setup in my basement (mackie onyx 1640 w/ firewire card + bunch of mics) so in my upcoming free time I will start writing again. Been wanting to record a few demos of some songs i've written but just haven't had time these past few years. maybe practice my lead vocals too, thats another thing I'd like to explore.

anyway, long post I know, just wanted to thank you all for contributing with ideas. Music is part of me and I'll never be able to give it up completely.

And GreatDane you bet - I will have to hook up with you next time I'm out there visiting my sis. PM me your email /phone (or facebook profile) so we can keep in touch.

[maltomario]

all this talk about grad school, its all ive been thinking about these past few months. i graduate with my bachelors in 3 weeks. in applied engineering: electronics, pretty much like yours mario.

 

 

congrats for sticking through it and graduating. Engineering is a difficult major, and few people have the tenacity to see it through.

[maltomario]

Now I understand better( I orig. thought you were being a little dramatic for quitting a cover band, sorry!). But you obviously put a lot into it and will have a hole to fill. Wish I could find ppl like you (or even one) to play with. I really admire your work ethic and morals! (and taste in guitars!) Those posters are awesome! Best I have seen. Love em. Take care and don't be a stranger!

thanks man.. and yeah drama ain't my style. Sorry if it came across that way. I typed up my original post on my android phone so I didn't quite elaborate clearly.

[ExiledCrow]

Sorry, to hear it, but: A) Family is more important, always; B) no-one has unlimited time; C) you'll always find a place to play when you need to. Best of luck on your goals.

[MichaelSaulnier]

I think you're being pretty rational about the whole thing...

You might be amazed at how much fun you have creating your own material.

I'd suggest arranging two versions... an acoustic version, and a whole band version. That way, you could still do some easy acoustic gigs now and then... even around the campfire if that's all that's available... but with your recording gear you can arrange a "big" sound.

These days, it's likely you could find other musicians to collaborate with... even outside your area. Since you can easily send audio files, it's not hard to let others add their parts to your ideas. More and more people are doing this, and it can be a lot of fun, and fit any schedule.

Good luck...

And nice job on the graphic design!

M

[Will Chen]

Well...

I played in a band very regularly though college and beyond. One day it became obvious it was time to hang it up, all of us had differing responsibilities which pulled us in different directions. I told myself I was retiring from performance and focused on just recording tunes and playing. It was enough for quite a few years. But honestly, that itch was never scratched by anything else. I eventually joined a worship band for a while, but the music just wasn't challenging enough and so now I'm back to gigging. But this time around, its not about delusions of becoming a famous rock band but rather concentrating purely on the enjoyment of making music.

My family always comes first, but I have to make time for the music as well as without I think I'd go insane!