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Cheesy lyrics dilemma

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  • #16
    Be happy with what you have.

    That guy is a good songwriter.
    “One who loves & understands nature will never be alone & will never be afraid.”
    -Rachel Carson-

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    • #17
      Going just by that song the guys is pretty good.

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      • #18
        i'd keep writing with this guy.... but also look for another writing partner

        if you're really not feeling his lyrics i can see how that is a problem for you... nothing wrong with artistic integrity... but it sounds like he's pretty set in his ways..... so i'd look for another outlet where hopefully you can work with someone on the same page as you

        you might not find anyone that really fits though... and you may decide what you can just suck it up regarding this guy's lyrics... or not

        the other thing to do is for you to try to write better lyrics for the parts you don't like... ask him to at least give them a shot and compare the two

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        • #19
          well thanks for all the replies.. looks like i should just shut it and do my part

          i'm planning on adding some mandolin to the track, probably another guitar and we'll work on the verses together.

          I do also write some stuff on my own so I have another outlet- I have a cousin who raps so maybe I'll give him a call for a change of pace
          [SIZE="1"]guits:
          PRS hollowbody II, std22
          Gibson Les Paul Custom
          Fender 62 deluxe vintage players strat (ice blue w/ S1) and 08 Jeff Beck strat
          guild Dc4nt acoustic
          Fender USA Jazz V
          Mele koa ukulele

          amps:
          VHT pitbull classic combo
          Mesa Roadking (ver 1)
          Soldano Astroverb combo
          Fender Deluxe

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          • #20
            Oh Velveeta!
            Oh Velveeta!
            Nuttin' could be sweetah
            Than a block of ol' Velveeta...



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            • #21
              Where's the lyrics? I was lead to believe there would be lyrics. I don't hear any in the verse

              I would call those about 80% fine. In my experience (and, again, this is just personal experience) lyrics need some editing. The main ideas in there are perfectly fine, but it may be wise to just tighten up a few things. And lay off the autotune

              Honestly, not nearly as bad as I was expecting from your talk!
              Recipient of the coveted MBM Kicking Ass Award!! ...still proud of that one.

              Visit my Pink Floyd Tribute Act's website at www.canadianpinkfloyd.com







              Originally Posted by Strung_Out


              your rig is excessive and loud; I dig that.

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              • #22
                I could do with out the invention of autotune...It's hard to tell if somone can actually sing, heard people who sound awesome auto tuned, but horrible live.
                "Well, I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared to death
                And I'm scared to keep on going on my way
                Well, I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared to death
                And I'll tell myself I'm special till the end"
                - Slip out (From where it hides)

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                • #23
                  Try helping him write the lyrics then.

                  But really it's not a big deal. seriously...listen to a lot of lyrics from a lot of the greatest bands ever..I mean really listen and dissect them..many of them have pretty **************** or stupid lyrics (in my opinion of course). Led Zeppelin anyone??? And lyrical content is subjective anyway....I bet I just pissed off a bunch of people who really love Plant's meandering fantasy hobit crap. Good for them. If that's what they like then cool.

                  As mentioned there are very few truly gifted singers that can both sing the words well and write thought provoking original lyrics at the highest level. Most do one of the two better than the other.

                  Two examples from my perspective....David Lee Roth....I think he's a great singer, original voice and just fearless with it...but man that dude couldn't write a decent lyric if Shakespeare was whispering in his ear. And Bob Dylan. What can you say about his lyrics...pure poetry. But his voice is ****************ing awful for me.

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                  • #24
                    It turns out that people don't actually listen to lyrics. Why do women listen to rap when it's overtly misogynistic? How do songs in foreign languages (Macarena and 99 Red Balloons to name two) become hits in the US? Why does anybody like Dio? A good, healthy chunk of people don't really care what the lyrics are, or even if they make sense. I too am guilty of liking stuff that doesn't make any sense lyrically or sounds incredibly stupid, but if the music is good enough I will even SING ALONG.

                    Granted, all of this is coming from a listeners perspective. I play in a band that the lyrics don't even rhyme some of the times, and I find it infuriating to no end. It's a punk/rockabilly band where one of the songs is about the battle of the bulge in WWII; the song is a dance song. It kills me every time I think about it. I've come pretty close to quitting over it. But some people still think the WWII song is the best one that we have, I assume it's because they don't know the lyrics. But it is our best song musically. Which shows that people don't listen to lyrics.

                    Still, being IN the band with the ****************ty lyrics is hard to do. You and I are walking a fine line where we end up tolerating it just enough to keep us around indefinitely.
                    My band: STOP BREATHING

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                    • #25
                      Look at Bowies Ziggy days. Ya know how he used to write his lyrics?

                      What he would do is cut out a **************** load of sentences out of newspapers and magazines and ****************, until he had a about 3tonnes, throw them in an empty bathtub, then get naked and lather himself in paste, then jump in the tub and see what stuck to him. Then... he would borrow 'bubbles' (wacko jacko's monkey) and get him to pick off the lyrics randomly and stick them to the wall, once the lyrics were chosen, Bowie then had to organise them in order, ie, verse chorus etc... to do that he would get bubbles to fling his **************** on the walls. 1st one to get hit = Line 1, verse 1.

                      So..... i suppose you could try that method, although im not sure what bubbles is doing these days? Last i heard he took an out of court settlement from MJ, but i dunno?
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                      • #26
                        I write with my drummer.
                        At the start of our sessions we have a little forum where we play each other the stuff that has been firing us up.
                        I think it helps us to get a feel for each others musical point of view or whatever.
                        Might sound weird but it works for us. Maybe you could play your singer some stuff with the kind of lyrics you like and either suggest trying the style or just hope it rubs off.

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                        • #27
                          While I agree that some cheese is ok, the 'made me feel so good inside' line is just horrible. really bad. about as cliche as you can get.

                          *edit* - the 2nd repitition of that line is what made me turn the song off, fwiw, and it was purely the lyric. the music and performance was just fine.
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                          • #28
                            While I agree that some cheese is ok, the 'made me feel so good inside' line is just horrible. really bad. about as cliche as you can get.

                            *edit* - the 2nd repitition of that line is what made me turn the song off, fwiw, and it was purely the lyric. the music and performance was just fine.


                            This was sort of what I was trying to get at in my response... Not every lyric has to be Pulitzer Prize winning - but do try to edit things that are really really bad. The key is to make them sound good in the song; and some things just don't.
                            Recipient of the coveted MBM Kicking Ass Award!! ...still proud of that one.

                            Visit my Pink Floyd Tribute Act's website at www.canadianpinkfloyd.com







                            Originally Posted by Strung_Out


                            your rig is excessive and loud; I dig that.

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                            • #29
                              I think you need to better define the cheese to your friend. Is it cheesy-sappy like a boy band? Cheesy-silly like They Might Be Giants? That schtick works in some contexts.

                              Whose lyrics do you like?

                              Your criticism needs to be more constructive. This sounds cheesy doesn't really say anything. Tell him that the lyrics make you think of Color Me Badd, and you'd rather it sound more like the Walkmen or whomever.

                              It also might have to do with expectations. Maybe you're playing something and it makes you think of X and he writes lyrics about Y. Tell him what you're thinking about before he writes the lyrics.
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                              • #30
                                IMO blameitonthelovespread needs more lyrics. Lyrically that song goes nowhere fast. Theres like half a verse and 1/4 of a chorus. For a 4+ minute song you got like 20 seconds of singing.

                                As for cheesey, cheese can be great. Listen to The Cure, Love Cats. I dare you to write a better song.

                                If you want girls write cheese. If you want boys write about dragons.
                                _________________________________________________

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