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The Fine Art of Naming Your Guitar

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  • The Fine Art of Naming Your Guitar

    Do you name your guitars? You should know that there's a right and a wrong way to do it.

    There are a lot of people, youngsters for example, who don't "get it" and will never name their guitars. To those people, I encourage you to put yourself in the mind of a Depression era Delta bluesman. This will not only improve your guitar-naming skills, it will also help your PLAYING, both in terms of soulful melody lines, writing 50 years worth of material with less than five chords and also playing drunk. If you're doing it right, you'll immediately want to name a guitar after the first woman who cheated on you.

    Which brings me to my next point: YOU MUST NAME THE GUITAR AFTER A WOMAN. I've seen guys give their guitars dude names and that's missing the point. The guitar should be named after a wimmin who done you wrong. Also unacceptable: naming the guitar after a fictional character or something silly that you might name a dog.

    Next, you have to choose an old-fashioned ladies name. It can't be anything that a 24 year old would name is newborn baby daughter in the year 2010. Don't call your guitar "Kylie" or "MacKenzie" or "Schuyler" or "Caitlin". The best way to determine if your guitar is appropriately named is to ask yourself: Would a prostitute in a western share the same name? "Mae"? Beautiful! "Shred God"? Wrong! oke:

    To sum up: Rose, Sadie and Shotgun Annie would all make great names for guitars. Brian, Chloe or Balrog would all be bad names.

    Addendum: Pun names are a bad idea. Guitarnold, Guitarlene and Guitarthur aren't clever, they are non-starters. Full disclosure: I once had a girlfriend named Sadie so I can use that legitimately.

  • #2
    Can I still call my goldtop goldilocks?



    =



    ?
    <div class="signaturecontainer">Lurking for life.</div>

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    • #3
      lol. OK, I laughed a little and you posted pictures of sexy females so you are approved. Also? Very nice guitar.

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      • #4
        Thanks, but that's a picture I took from Gibson. At any rate, I've got tophat knobs on mine.

        PS. Post more guitar names, please.

        I need to name my stage guitars. I've got a Melissa Ann, a Scarlett and an Etta (Place). Do you name acoustics?
        <div class="signaturecontainer">Lurking for life.</div>

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        • #5
          I've got a Melissa Ann, a Scarlett and an Etta (Place). Do you name acoustics?


          Damn, I don't need to give you any ideas. You've got this concept DOWN. Good call on those, I especially like Scarlett. Charlotte is good, too, of course. I think you should definitely name acoustics, yeah.

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          • #6
            I've really only named two of mine and one almost doesn't count.

            This one is named Hannah, mostly because it reminded me of a car I used to own. I don't name cars either, but this was one named by the original owner. Car was an 88 BMW 535is and for whatever reason, this guitar just seemed to remind me of it:



            And this one is the one I've put more work into than any other guitar... refinished the neck, refinished the body, wired up the pickguard from two different set of pickups. It's a bit orange, but it was supposed to be 'Coral' which many Fiesta Red strats faded to... so I call it Corey. In my defense, I do think of it as a girl's name:



            Other than that, I just call them pretty obvious names... The Surf Green one is 'Surfy', the red-ish one is 'Red', the acoustic one is the very unimaginative 'the acoustic one'.

            I have one really ugly partscaster that I call either 'The ugliest guitar ever' or 'The Mut'. I guess could call my Hamer 'Hamertime.'

            That's all I got.
            Originally Posted by Doctor Morbius:

            "When it comes to gear vs talent I'll be the first to admit that I sit in the Mayor's seat in Poserville."

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            • #7
              This thread is already full of win. When the names are good (Hannah, Scarlett, Melissa Ann, Corey) they're good but even when they're bad (Surfy, Mutt, Hamertime) they're damn hilarious.

              If I were you, I'd show people Hamertime and then say "You can't touch this"

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              • #8
                I named my Schecter C-1 + "Cee-Cee" even though I haven't met a girl who's been called by that name. :P
                <div class="signaturecontainer"><div align="center"><font size="1">A good deal with nbabmf <img src="http://img3.harmony-central.com/acapella/ubb/thumb.gif" border="0" alt="" title="thumbs up" class="inlineimg" /></font></div><div align="center">------------------------------------------------------</div><font size="1"><div align="center">Schecter C-1 + w/ Seymour Duncan JB/Jazz - Dunlop Crybaby Wah - Digitech RP1000 - Marshall DSL 100 w/ 2x12 Celestion GT-100 <img src="http://img3.harmony-central.com/acapella/ubb/Totally_jammin_out.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Jammin'" class="inlineimg" /></div></font><br />
                <div align="center"><b> - Yamaholic - 2004-2010<br />
                - Member of the <font color="#8b0000">Schecter Society <u>(2011 - Present)</u></font> &amp; the <font color="olive">Marshall Circle of Tone- <u>(2010 - Present)</u></font> - </b> </div><div class="bbcode_container">
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                <img src="images/misc/quote_icon.png" alt="Quote" /> Originally Posted by <strong>jjpistols</strong>
                <a href="showthread.php?p=37890470#post37890470" rel="nofollow"><img class="inlineimg" src="images/buttons/viewpost-right.png" alt="View Post" /></a>
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                <div class="message">this thread is metal as **************** - when I opened it, all the magnets jumped off my refrigerator and stuck themselves to the monitor</div>

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                • #9
                  My first guitar, which is a Washburn WI64, was called "the Bluesbreaker", but I got rid of it because naming property sounded rather silly.
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                  <img src="images/misc/quote_icon.png" alt="Quote" /> Originally Posted by <strong>Noam Chomsky</strong>

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                  <div class="message">Whenever you hear anything said very confidently, the first thing that should come to mind is, wait a minute is that true?</div>

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                  • #10
                    My first guitar, which is a Washburn WI64, was called "the Bluesbreaker", but I got rid of it because naming property sounded rather silly.


                    LOL so true.

                    I don't feel like I have to name them, but when i do think of them i think of "The Beast":



                    and "Sol":



                    I plan on getting a Silverburst version of my DC127 w/ floyd rose and naming it "Luna".

                    I don't feel like naming them generic woman names will make me love them more
                    <div class="signaturecontainer"><i>Pronounced: (zahn . tore)</i><br />
                    <br />
                    <a href="http://s1134.photobucket.com/albums/m614/zantor9/GFS%20BSX%20Custom%20V/?action=view&amp;current=DSC00460.jpg#!oZZ11QQcurr entZZhttp%3A%2F%2Fs1134.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2 Fm614%2Fzantor9%2FGFS%2520BSX%2520Custom%2520V%2F% 3Faction%3Dview%26current%3DDSC00443.jpg" target="_blank">My Happy Family</a> consisting of:<br />
                    Carvin DC 127<br />
                    Dean Vendetta 2.0<br />
                    Dean VNXM 7 String<br />
                    BSX &quot;The Beast&quot;<br />
                    BSX GFS Custom V<br />
                    <br />
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                    <img src="images/misc/quote_icon.png" alt="Quote" /> Originally Posted by <strong>Reignman</strong>
                    <a href="showthread.php?p=41466799#post41466799" rel="nofollow"><img class="inlineimg" src="images/buttons/viewpost-right.png" alt="View Post" /></a>
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                    <div class="message">Don't get me started.......<br />
                    <br />
                    Axl Rose?.....I've taken wet ****************s more musical than him.</div>

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                    • lala_rebel
                      lala_rebel commented
                      Editing a comment

                      My first guitar's name was Luna. She was a cherry red electric with curves like a crescent moon.


                  • #11
                    Naming guitars is kind of hot-button topic around here. There's a group of people that get quite snarky whenever the subject comes up. I'm a bit surprised that someone hasn't already wandered in and said something like "Guitars are just wood and wire they're just tools. Would I name my hammer?"


                    Anyway the guy that built my guitar names every piece he builds. I haven't really warmed up to the name though.

                    <div class="signaturecontainer"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/nycbluestrio" target="_blank"><b><u><font color="Magenta"><font color="Olive"><font size="3"><font face="Arial Black">NYC</font> </font></font></font> <font size="1"> <font color="Black"> Americana </font></font> </u></b></a></div>

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                    • #12
                      Can I still call my goldtop goldilocks?





                      ?


                      sweet jesus ..
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                      <img src="images/misc/quote_icon.png" alt="Quote" /> Originally Posted by <strong>guitarmandp</strong>
                      <a href="showthread.php?p=38573923#post38573923" rel="nofollow"><img class="inlineimg" src="images/buttons/viewpost-right.png" alt="View Post" /></a>
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                      <div class="message">But I really don't give ****************, I have money to make and I'm wasting my time playing on a message board.</div>

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                      • #13
                        Naming guitars is kind of hot-button topic around here. There's a group of people that get quite snarky whenever the subject comes up. I'm a bit surprised that someone hasn't already wandered in and said something like "Guitars are just wood and wire they're just tools. Would I name my hammer?"


                        lol... I noticed. Thanks for the heads-up. But if people can't tell I'm having fun with this topic, then they're the kind of oblivious, self-serious dorks who are probably infuriated by half the topics on this board.

                        Play me off, Lucille...

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                        • #14
                          Great post, would read again.

                          Actually kind of agree with your premise, with the exception that now that you mention it, Balrog sounds like a great name for the right guitar.

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                          • #15
                            The only one I've ever named is my ugly as hell unpainted parts build i.e. The IKEAcaster. Generally I'd feel weird naming inanimate objects. ymmv

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