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I saw the saddest thing today. (prayers needed)

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  • I saw the saddest thing today. (prayers needed)

    My Grandma has been recently moved to a hospice because of her terminal colon cancer. She has been strong after surviving breast cancer 10 years ago but she just couldn't make it through kemo for this one.

    Anyways I went to see her today and it was so sad I had to cry.

    She was just laying there, mouth open, face completely yellow due to liver failure, and she was drifting in and out of consciousness.

    I just thought that she looked liked she was already gone.

    I had never seen anyone like that before.

    It was just so... sad.

    Just a few days before I had been talking to her about school and she seemed so lively. I didn't want to see her like this.

    Thanks so much for any prayers and kind thoughts.

    EDIT: My grandma passed on this mothers day, 2am. RIP
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  • #2
    Sorry to hear that news...you'll all be in our prayers!

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    • #3
      Its the hardest thing to watch someone who fought so strong become so weak. My Grandmother had Leukemia and they gave her 5 years. 15 years later, it finally won...

      Remember why you loved her and share it with your family.
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      • #4
        im very sorry.
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        • #5
          I'm so sorry, my grand father died of cancer, and I know what it's like. I hope you're ok. Im sorry.
          I like stuff and girls the most.

          Im looking to buy a EHX Freeze - Im in the UK, so if anyone is selling one, inbox me

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          • #6
            i know cancer very well. my prayers and heart are right there mang.
            be with your family and talk about it...
            OTHERWORLDLY. Psychedelic, Noise, Shoegaze.Joey Levenson on SoundCloud

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            • #7
              My thoughts are with you. I lost my dad to cancer 2 years ago, it's hard seeing someone you love go through so much agony. Hospice is a good thing to have, make sure they keep her well medicated. I fully believe that our loved ones hear us all the way to the end. I think it helps if you all sit down and tell them that it's okay to go now.
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              • #8
                This is not a fun experience to watch someone you care about dying this way...hang in there.

                As raw as this kind of process is, I found it helpful to try and stay as attentive to how I felt about everything that comes up, no matter how unpleasant. When my mum died in a similar way, you could see how she withdrew from her body, from the feet and hands, up through the arms and legs and out through the top of the head.

                When they go into their 'final' cancer coma, the nurses will usually know and be able to give you a fairly accurate guess of when they leave. It's quite confronting, and if she has last rights, that's very intense for everyone gathered. Hope she has a nice trip.
                Jimbo
                If you're reading this, it only confirms what a hopeless computer nerd you are...you're probably a fat loser too...my condolences.

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                • #9
                  Thanks so far for everyones thoughts.

                  I want to share a SATB choir piece I wrote for my Grandma, please read the lyrics as they were for her. It meant a lot to her and my Grandpa, I hoped to get it performed for her but it looks like time is running out so.

                  My Grandma was an excellent soprano singer and was involved in many professional choirs and some church choirs as well, so it meant a lot that I made a choir piece for her.

                  On my solo myspace it's entitled "What Comes Next"

                  What comes next, I can see it
                  What comes next, I can feel it
                  What comes next, I can hear it,
                  What comes next, I won't fear it,
                  Planned from the beginning of time,
                  I won't fear it, x3
                  My time has come, x3
                  My time has come to pass,
                  What comes next, x2
                  Light x14
                  Up x7
                  Sopranos: So bright and beautiful
                  Altos Shining gleaming bright and beaming light is streaming at me

                  SAT: Shining gleaming bright and beaming light is streaming x2
                  Shining gleaming bright and beaming
                  Bass: I have become

                  All: I am one


                  --- Sorry, it is in a bad quality finale mp3. I hope to have this piece performed and recorded at some point.

                  Written for my Grandma.


                  Sorry for the myspace link, if someone wants to hear it I can upload it on soundclick or yousendit.

                  It is quite bad quality as finale just has midi sound, but I and my family still find it quite powerful.
                  My Soundcloud
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                  • #10
                    you'll be in my prayers, hope everything turns well
                    WWW.COPILOTFX.COM

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                    • #11
                      Your description reminds me of what my grandfather looked like the night esophageal cancer took him. It was a rainy night, and my birthday to boot. It's tough to look at a loved one when they're in that state, I just left the hospital. He didn't know I was there anyway.

                      Just remember, if you catch yourself feeling alright, you might start thinking you should be feeling worse, guilt tripping yourself into more grieving. Feeling good in the face of a tragedy is a blessing, not a disrespect to the departed. Best wishes to you and your family.
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                      • #12
                        Yeah; my grandma died of colon cancer in a crappy nursing home. She looked like death for weeks before she died. Not a great way to go and certainly painful for everyone else involved too. My sympathies.
                        "The everyday practice is simply to develop a complete acceptance and openness to all situations and emotions, and to all people, experiencing everything totally without mental reservations and blockages, so that one never withdraws or centralizes into oneself. This produces a tremendous energy which usually is locked up in the process of mental evasion and a general running away from life experiences." --Dilgo Kyhentse, Rinpoche

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                        • #13
                          My Grandmother passed away from cancer almost 10 years ago. She was at home until the end, taken care of by loved ones. I was alone with her and holding her hand when she passed...it was a quiet and surreal moment I won't soon forget.

                          I am very sorry to hear she is going through the same thing right now

                          DK
                          MOTGLHC

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                          • #14
                            i will pray for you
                            http://www.youtube.com/user/joemiracle220

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                            "It is my opinion that art lost its basic creative drive the moment it was separated from worship. In former days the artist remained unknown and his work was to the glory of God. Today the individual has become the highest form and the greatest bane of artistic creation"

                            -Ingmar Bergman

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                            • #15
                              I'm so sorry to hear that.
                              I've lost a few people to cancer over the last two years.
                              I know it's hard to go through seeing loved ones die.
                              I'm sure she knows you love her.

                              Please take care of yourself, too.
                              It's easy to get lost in the caretaker role, and not take care of your own grief.

                              I'm say a prayer for you all.
                              Do you think the fast that I demand this day is to bow down your head like a bulrush? No! The fast I demand is that you feed the poor, house the homeless, clothe the naked, and break off the handcuffs on your prisoners. - Isaiah

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