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my girlfriend just told me a crazy story


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  • my girlfriend just told me a crazy story

    she lives in a pretty sketchy neighborhood. actually, depending on where you've lived and what you've been exposed to, '****************ing warzone' might be a more accurate description. i wont get into a lot of detail about the area - suffice to say that human **************** has been found in her yard at least once, and the parking lot/alley behind the house is the worst. on one side is a homeless shelter and on the other is the low income mental health clinic, so you can imagine the **************** that goes down back there as soon as it starts getting dark.

    there is a pretty considerable amount of garbage and crap stacked up outside the back door, like recycling bins that have just sat there full for several years and buckets and old boxes and ****************. i think there may still be an old mattress back there as well. its definitely the type of spot where people passing by just toss garbage because it just looks like garbage belongs there at this point. all kinds of absurd **************** has been thrown in the pile over the years but this weeks find led to some weird revelations for our buddy.

    i guess, basically, her roommate was coming home from work and when he passed by the rubbish heap he noticed the corner of a dvd case containing adult videos sticking out of the ****************pile, so he picked it up. to his surprise and initial dismay, it was immediately apparent from the images on the packaging that the contents of this video would be categorized squarely within the genre of: she-male.

    disgusted, he tossed the smut back in the rubbish and proceeded inside. apparently he quickly had a change of heart though, and returned to the alley with rubber gloves to fish it back out (at least he used gloves this time, this alley is SO nasty). supposedly his reasoning was that this would be a great 'gag gift' or could be used strategically in some type of prank. unfortunately this did not turn out to be the case.

    a couple days passed with little mention of the dvd. then last night the roommate who had originally picked it up drunkenly confessed to a house full of people that temptation had gotten the better of him; he had decided to see what this whole chicks with dicks thing was all about, and it had led him down an unexpected [dark] path.

    i dont remember exactly the phrasing used to describe his unexpected arousal at the subject matter but i do recall that his specific defense when the rest of the room inevitably exploded on him included these key talking points:

    "its actually a really classy video! its not all dark and sketchy, its like, high quality studio ****************!"


    "the boob jobs and surgery are all really well done. they're basically pretty attractive chicks with awesome tits... but they also have dicks and they just blow each others asses out all night."

    i guess he basically had a sienfield type 'it moved' moment.

    so of course this was met with an uproar of dismay. but the funny thing was that in spite of all his overstated defense of this new-found interest in an elicit depiction of what really can only be classified as mutant ug-bumping, he was already fairly ashamed of himself. this was discovered when my girlfriend, who is a complete wise-ass and somewhat of a perv herself, announced that she would like to view the video and see firsthand what all the fuss was about. The roommate was apparently pretty eager for some validation, or at least an escape from the awkwardness of the situation, because he immediately bolted from the room, seemingly to retrieve the video. however, my girl was surprised when he returned, apparently from the kitchen, with the same rubber gloves he had initially used to pick the dvd up out the garbage and said "you should definitely watch it, i put it back in the alley, go grab it and throw it on!"

  • #2
    yeah right, "her room mate" ... oke:
    The community here was awesome but the digs & spirit of the place has been in decline ever since it became a business venture rather than a simple collective and this latest gong show really brought the chickens home to roost.Necessity is the mother of invention, ergo: long and thanks for all the fish, love izzy.


    • #3
      i remember when i boarded here a lot before the whole 2.0 forum debacle and isvoid always really annoyed me


      • #4
        or maybe we were buddies, i can't remember


        • #5
          did you mean you think it was actually me that found the vid?


          • #6
            Errrmm... Still trying to figure out whats wrong with hot she male porn...


            • #7
              i guess its cool as long as you only handle it with rubber gloves


              • #8
                "can only be classified as mutant ug-bumping"

                So, I read the story, and it was very disturbing. But, I admit, this quote is freaking hilarious.
                Good Deals with: Shred-o-holic (Bought his JVM410h), Chris39 (My Laney VH100r for his Tweaker 40, Boss Octave, MXR Classic Overdrive and 50$), Unclemeat (Bought his Legacy III), lots of others I can't remember.


                • #9
                  Smooth transactions with: V-type (x2), torgeot, teflondog, spindlergallery , MrSandMan, mikerockstar, Sinster, dangolguitartec, sfam198, landbriancoe, Uberscha11,mttmg,andy43,jimithing5150,MattWV,alxml r789,fulcrumpoint,Inca Roads,Rgkchile,Mason Wells,Powerglide350,dustinoneil, chuckmehh, Further Lo, skaaks, Kano2864212, VTM, Adversor, dustman283

                  Originally Posted by SweepLegatto

                  The noise comes from the cabinet, not from the pots of the front panel.


                  • #10
                    he had a lot of potential. too bad for the bant. who was he?
                    HCAF's resident meathead.


                    • #11
                      he had a lot of potential. too bad for the bant. who was he?

                      Tranny Porn. This reeks of Tornado of Souls.


                      • #12
                        He's bant already?


                        • #13
                          Jackson RR3
                          Jackson DK2M
                          LTD MH-400
                          LTD M-350
                          Dean Zx- in pieces
                          Framus Cobra
                          Peavey 5150
                          Carvin Legacy 4x12

                          Excellent Transactions

                          Originally Posted by Spaced Out Ace

                          I have three Ltd's and can stroke the guitar necks like the male co-star in a porno about to blow his load. I don't find them to be sharp.

                          Originally Posted by ~Abstract~

                          "I'll buy your guitar...but I'm gonna need to take about 5 bucks off for the Lysol I'll need to disinfect it."

                          Member of the HCAF SS