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HCAF Tech Guys : Help me get my coworker fired

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  • HCAF Tech Guys : Help me get my coworker fired

    Here is the problem... we have two offices, 3 shifts, 24 hour operation. I work in my office from 6am to 2pm. it is empty from 2pm to 10pm, then the night guy comes in 10pm to 6am.



    Night guy uses my office and computer because of its location.



    Every 2-3 months I get a new reroute virus. Sometimes its harmless **************** like businesscirlce, etc. I know he streams tv shows all night from various websites, and he has gotten caught with a porn virus before (tried to play it off on me, yeah, like I am going to watch porn when the entire building is full of people and literally someone is in my office at every minute of the day). He works alone overnight, nobody in the entire building, boss lol'd with me.



    Problem : I can't catch him (no I don't want to walk in on him fapping). I need a way to log what he is doing on Google Chrome, he always deletes history. I don't want some elaborate keylogging software, just a way to see a log of websites visited and what time, and if possible, how much time was spent on that website.



    Basically I want to show my boss that instead of doing his work (he rushes when I come in at 5:30am to finish it all, he has had 8 ****************ing hours to do his paperwork) he is doing stupid **************** all night, compromising our network security (all of our computers are linked via network, with all of our billing/tax info etc).



    tl;dr



    fellow employee is piece of **************** that is ****************ing up our facility and nobody wants him here anymore, he watches porn and tv shows on the computer all night and gets viruses, i need a way to track what he is doing external to the browser because he deletes the history before he lets me in the office.
    HCAF's resident meathead.

  • #2
    man i wish it were that simple to get pieces of **************** fired here
    great deals with Urinate Forever and stratedge09






    Originally Posted by DrakkarTyrannis


    Ya'll n****s is gay



    Cheers, Lucius.




    the.Orange.congolomorate Thunderverb 50 sucka!
    SG ARMY

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    • #3






      Quote Originally Posted by Y0UNGBL00D
      View Post

      man i wish it were that simple to get pieces of **************** fired here




      I don't think it will work, but I can at least just put it on paper that he is a piece of ****************. I will honestly probably hang it from the office billboard, which has a glass door over it that locks it. I have a key, he lost his key set last year and only got an office key, so he wont be able to remove it. "Internet Log History for Anthony _____"



      Porn

      Streaming Miami Vice

      Porn

      Ebay

      Gospel Station (serious)



      -Picture-
      HCAF's resident meathead.

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      • #4
        Do you have an IT department? It pays to be friendly with the dude that understands your router/proxy/web connection routines blah blah blah. There's always ways to track this **************** built into any network that's worth a ****************. Unfortunately, management likes to pretend these ways don't exist because it's typically the largest kiss-asses that do the most abusive things with the network. I'm the guy that used to be able to track network activity at my place of business, until it became inconvenient for some of the boss's best butt-buddies. Now I can only track the plant floor's activity. (On the sly I can still track everything, I'm just not allowed to mention it unless something blows up into a big bitch problem. Like the recent pronz-bomb trojan that landed the entire company on the blacklist so nobody on the outside could access our site or send or receive email to or from us. dumbasses.)



        Find your company's me, if he exists.
        Originally Posted by Murdoch


        HCAF Y U NO TALK MAPS

        Three dicks in an ass, n00b.









        Originally Posted by Dr.Picklebottom


        wtf is next? lets talk about our favorite nsync album. i love them all because i was really making strides in my dress making business at the time...

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        • #5
          we operate as a contractor inside of the building. We have our own network and everything, no IT guy. Just a 4 man operation. this is going to have to be my doing. What about K9 Web Protection? something like that that ruins in the background without anyone knowing.
          HCAF's resident meathead.

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          • #6
            This is an expensive solution but maybe your company would pay for some of it



            http://www.epiphan.com/products/dvi-.../dvi2usb-solo/
            Originally Posted by DrakkarTyrannis


            I'm a drag queen..not Jesus Christ









            Originally Posted by LuckisforLosers


            Don't sound like Korn.

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            • #7
              go eat grilled chicken breasts, do some push ups in the bathroom, and wait for your period to pass.

              Comment


              • #8
                Accuse your cow orker of performing bestiality
                He ate all of the crackers, and then he ate all of the cheese.

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                • #9
                  Whatever you do, don't put this stuff on your keyboard after your shift ends: http://www.mohotta.com/product/sourc...FUeRPAod5GoAbA
                  Originally Posted by DrakkarTyrannis


                  I'm a drag queen..not Jesus Christ









                  Originally Posted by LuckisforLosers


                  Don't sound like Korn.

                  Comment


                  • #10






                    Quote Originally Posted by -Assy-
                    View Post

                    we operate as a contractor inside of the building. We have our own network and everything, no IT guy. Just a 4 man operation. this is going to have to be my doing. What about K9 Web Protection? something like that that ruins in the background without anyone knowing.




                    I guess if it were me I'd just grab an old router I had laying around and set it between your system and the network and turn on logging. But I've got lots of that **************** laying around even at home. I'm not a big fan of software only solutions for things like this, as most of them are crap and suck resources, making themselves noticeable even to utter computer-illiterates.
                    Originally Posted by Murdoch


                    HCAF Y U NO TALK MAPS

                    Three dicks in an ass, n00b.









                    Originally Posted by Dr.Picklebottom


                    wtf is next? lets talk about our favorite nsync album. i love them all because i was really making strides in my dress making business at the time...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      keystroke & network logging functions, how do they work?
                      The community here was awesome but the digs & spirit of the place has been in decline ever since it became a business venture rather than a simple collective and this latest gong show really brought the chickens home to roost.Necessity is the mother of invention, ergo: www.guitarampboard.com.So long and thanks for all the fish, love izzy.

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                      • #12
                        someone has to be administrator for the computer. find out who it is and simply block the delete history function for all users on that pc......
                        FREE BATOTMAN


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                        • #13






                          Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Picklebottom
                          View Post

                          go eat grilled chicken breasts, do some push ups in the bathroom, and wait for your period to pass.




                          This! Look after your own ****************, let him deal with his! If nothing's blowing up in your face, sod it. None of your business, butt out and quit being a toss-piece!
                          Zazas Zazas Nasatanada Zazas

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                          • #14






                            Quote Originally Posted by Miter Gauge
                            View Post

                            Whatever you do, don't put this stuff on your keyboard after your shift ends: http://www.mohotta.com/product/sourc...FUeRPAod5GoAbA




                            LOLOL



                            I think it would function better on the mouse where the palm rests.



                            Yeah right I'd get a call at 1:30AM "Kyle, the overnight guy is in the hospital with...genital burn wounds. You have to go in and cover for him".



                            Not worth it
                            HCAF's resident meathead.

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                            • #15
                              just order a **************** ton of gay mags with his name on and email addressed to him and your company , then suggest to the Boss that all computer history will be logged and if it's deleted there will be a inquiry with that shift . Though on a network the admin should be able to block any and all unwanted web activity .
                              "Our virtues and our failings are inseparable, like force and matter. When they separate, man is no more."
                              Nikola Tesla

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