Members Pepi Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Sensitivity Training For Men * I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair; but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning! * The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 25, and her name's Kathy. * Went to our local bar with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary. * My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether." * The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries. * A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says, "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!" * I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening." * My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NeloAngelo Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 not even a chuckle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NeloAngelo Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 not even a chuckle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Pepi Posted January 6, 2013 Author Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Originally Posted by NeloAngelo not even a chuckle. {censored} YOU ASSHOLE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Pepi Posted January 6, 2013 Author Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Originally Posted by NeloAngelo not even a chuckle. {censored} YOU ASSHOLE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Belva Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Originally Posted by Pepi {censored} YOU ASSHOLE You wouldn't like it. He just lays there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Belva Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Originally Posted by Pepi {censored} YOU ASSHOLE You wouldn't like it. He just lays there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mark_morton Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mark_morton Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Pepi Posted January 6, 2013 Author Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Originally Posted by Belva You wouldn't like it. He just lays there I've heard that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Pepi Posted January 6, 2013 Author Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Originally Posted by Belva You wouldn't like it. He just lays there I've heard that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 8 Foot Manchild Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 What does the octogenarian pirate say?Aye, matey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 8 Foot Manchild Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 What does the octogenarian pirate say?Aye, matey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mrelusive Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 The key to making things like this funny is delivery and context. These lines would be much funnier if nonchalantly peppered into casual conversation. You know, as opposed to reading them one after the other or hearing a stand-up comedian rattle em off one after the other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mrelusive Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 The key to making things like this funny is delivery and context. These lines would be much funnier if nonchalantly peppered into casual conversation. You know, as opposed to reading them one after the other or hearing a stand-up comedian rattle em off one after the other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mamberg Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Originally Posted by 8 Foot Manchild What does the octogenarian pirate say? Aye, matey. ok - you're going to have to explain that one to me, so I can decide which of us is stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mamberg Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Originally Posted by 8 Foot Manchild What does the octogenarian pirate say? Aye, matey. ok - you're going to have to explain that one to me, so I can decide which of us is stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NeloAngelo Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Originally Posted by mamberg ok - you're going to have to explain that one to me, so I can decide which of us is stupid. well, octogenarian means 80-89 years old. so that doesn't make it any more understandable. worst joke ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NeloAngelo Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Originally Posted by mamberg ok - you're going to have to explain that one to me, so I can decide which of us is stupid. well, octogenarian means 80-89 years old. so that doesn't make it any more understandable. worst joke ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rock Hardness Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Originally Posted by mamberg ok - you're going to have to explain that one to me, so I can decide which of us is stupid. Aye, matey Aye(m) atey I'm Eighty. I'm gonna go with both of you...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rock Hardness Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Originally Posted by mamberg ok - you're going to have to explain that one to me, so I can decide which of us is stupid. Aye, matey Aye(m) atey I'm Eighty. I'm gonna go with both of you...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NeloAngelo Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Originally Posted by Rock Hardness Aye, matey Aye(m) atey I'm Eighty. I'm gonna go with both of you...... if you have to explain a joke, it's not a joke. it's a lesson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NeloAngelo Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Originally Posted by Rock Hardness Aye, matey Aye(m) atey I'm Eighty. I'm gonna go with both of you...... if you have to explain a joke, it's not a joke. it's a lesson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 8 Foot Manchild Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 How do you make a duck sing soul music?Put it in the oven 'til it's Bill Withers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 8 Foot Manchild Posted January 6, 2013 Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 How do you make a duck sing soul music?Put it in the oven 'til it's Bill Withers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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