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Weirdest thing that ever happened to you


Jesse G

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I've been reading this thread over in GJ and thought I'd start it over here too. Feel free to post in the other thread too and be sure to read some of it because there are some seriously freaky stories.

 

I don't have anything that exciting but once I had a spell of sleep paralysis and thought I was seeing myself from above with a giant scorpion/xenomorph thing squeezing the life out of me.

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Trick Daddy(famous rapper) pulled up to my dorm and asked where to find a party on campus.

 

My Bro and I tried to explain it, but they were stoned.

 

They told us to get in.

 

We rode along, and took them to a party.

 

It was lame. They told us to get out of the truck. :cry:

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I got semi-raped by a chick while visiting a friends college. seriously, woke up with her riding me, didn't even know her name:lol:. I was a little startled, thought I was dreaming. I got tested and as far as I know she was on the pill:facepalm:

 

 

she was a friend of the buddy I was visiting. apparently she had a thing for me:lol:

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I don't have anything that exciting but once I had a spell of
sleep paralysis
and thought I was seeing myself from above with a giant scorpion/xenomorph thing squeezing the life out of me.

 

That {censored}'s horrifying. You can experience aural hallucinations during this, too. I had it happen to me: I thought I was dying and couldn't breathe, and I felt myself being pulled under and I could hear this demonic scream calling to me. I really thought I was about to go to Hell :eek:

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When I moved to England I moved to a little town called Hitchin. Was told there was a kiwi bar in town so headed down there. Turned out that the guy who owned it was my old rugby coach in new Zealand and his son who was one of my mates at school worked there. At one point there was 9 people I knew from new Zealand all living in Hitchin.

None of us knew the others were moving there.

Met my old girlfriends sister at a death metal concert in london. Wasn't even a big concert. One of these free metal festivals with unknown bands. Kiwis are everywhere though.

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It didn't happen to me but here goes:

 

A few weeks ago my dad and I went to Topeka (gross) to a gun show. We decided to have lunch beforehand though. While seated I heard/noticed a scuffle or rustling behind me which got me listening. Apparently an older guy was having a heart attack and his wife(?) asked if anyone was a doctor. Sure as {censored}, a doctor was sitting across the aisle from them. It turns out the guy was just choking. It was like something out of a movie.

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I have this ex girlfriend. I swear every time I dream about her I will either see her or she will text/call me the next day. We havent dated in probably 12 or more years. I am sure its just a coincidence. But weird as {censored}.

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I have this ex girlfriend. I swear every time I dream about her I will either see her or she will text/call me the next day. We havent dated in probably 12 or more years. I am sure its just a coincidence. But weird as {censored}.

 

 

Obviously, your interactions with her in Tel'aran'rhiod are physically reaching her, causing her to remember you when she wakes. Duh.

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I was driving home late at night and I see a car coming in the opposite direction. All of a sudden he switches to my side of the road and starts to speed full on to crash into my car, I slowed down and kept on thinking he would go back to his side but he didn't, when we were just inches away from crashing, I swerved into a store parking lot to avoid him. He also swerves back into his lane, hits the brake and stops. I went back on the road and started to drive again as quick as I could and he just stayed there in the middle of the road, never left the car or anything.

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Let me preface this by saying I'm not a big supernatural believer, but this was either something real or a huge coincedence.

 

I don't know if this is the weirdest. But all I can think of at the moment. When I was in highschool I had a dream one night that I was either lost or looking for something. But at one point in the dream I was in my friends basement (where he slept). I saw him laying in bed sleeping. I kept looking around and went back in the storage area and just basically was looking all over his basement. Well the next morning I wake up and go to school and didn't even think about the dream until I saw my buddy and the first thing he said to me he swore he woke up the night before and saw me walking around in his bedroom and around his basement. And I hadn't mentioned my dream to anybody.

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I've been reading
over in GJ and thought I'd start it over here too. Feel free to post in the other thread too and be sure to read some of it because there are some
seriously
freaky stories.


I don't have anything that exciting but once I had a spell of sleep paralysis and thought I was seeing myself from above with a giant scorpion/xenomorph thing squeezing the life out of me.

 

 

I have sleep paralysis all the time, like 2-3 times a month. It's a sequel from the epilepsy I had as a child. I have the weirdest visions when it happens, but I am so used to it by now it just don't freak me out anymore.

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I was in New Orleans, drunk as {censored}, at 4AM or so. I see a Lucky Dog cart across the street and go over to get me some late night munchies.

 

As if from nowhere, this 400 pound black hooker is standing right in front of me. She reaches forward and grabs the ol' twig and berries in a grip of steel.

 

I'm completely stunned. I'm immobile and terrified.

 

"Where you going, baby?"

 

I decided, for the sake of my testicles, to play it straight. "I'm, um, going over there for a hot dog."

 

"Why don't you forget about the hot dog and come with me?"

 

I'm panicking at this point. A cold sweat pops out on my forehead. My buddies are rolling on the ground with laughter.

 

"I, uh...I...aaaahhh, ummm...I only have 4 dollars!"

 

She releases my manhood and says, "Well, I guess you better take yo ass over there and get a mother{censored}in' hot dog."

 

[exeunt]

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you win!

I appreciate it, but it's small potatoes compared to some of what's been posted in that other thread. I have no doubt that some of the stories are straight-up manufactured, but still. :freak:

 

Then there was the time I borrowed my brother's truck to move some furniture back to my dorm on campus about 15 years ago or so. A buddy of mine and I were on the way back, and were passing through a small country town, when a police car came screaming up behind us. Thinking I had been speeding (I had :o), I pulled over and pulled out my license. I noticed that the policeman wasn't approaching very fast, and I turned my head to see what was going on.

 

He had his weapon out and was pointing it at the back of my head. :eek:

 

I nearly shat myself.

 

Turned out that there were two guys in a truck very similar to the one we were driving who had been knocking on people's doors, asking for money. When they were refused, they were either threatening or attacking the homeowners.

 

That was no fun at all. :freak:

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I won't say my black hooker story is better, but I still don't believe that it actually happened.

 

 

 

Myself and three buddies went to vegas one year and three days ago. It was one year and one day ago that this {censored} went down.

 

We stayed at the Hooters Hotel (why wouldn't we... so appropriate). Anyway, we'd been drinking for a few days just really rallyin' having a great time. I was loving my time, I had gambled and won for like the first time ever. Flight, hotel, even most of my booze paid for alreayd and was still up $300. No joke. (I'm not one of those "yeah, I was up about $2000, not bad for an hour" guys). That to me is a lot of money! Like I was super lucky!

 

Anyway, on 8/5/11, My friend and I are tired, so we retire to our rented quarters. We got a room with two queen beds, and were rotating between floor and bed. This night, I am laying on the floor stretching out and going to bed, my friend (and roommate) is sleeping in the bed. We were partied out, hungover and it was late so we went up to the room. Our other two friends stayed down at the craps table.

 

Fast forward about two hours. I'd been asleep for a little bit, I'm kind of drunk, friend asleep on the bed.

 

I am shaken awake to see a very large pair of black breasts, two feet from my face. "What the {censored}?" I question in semi excitement. My package is being rubbed and there are boobs in my face. I'm very happily confused.

 

"Do you want a blowjob?"

"Yeah... {censored} yeah. Yeah, hell yeah. I love those."

...

"wait a second..." I stopped myself. "No... haha. Who the hell are you? What are you doing here?"

"Honey, come on, let's go in there you want a blow job? Yo' fren' gettin' one o'er there. I'll give it cheap, he's payin' for it..."

"No. Actually, I don't, if you could just leave me alone please."

"Tsshhh.... whateva'"

 

I watch her stand up... then climb into the bed with my other friend. I also notice now, another hooker is going to town on my drunk friends dong, right there in the room. I am mortified! I have no idea what is going on. I watch the black hooker climb in bed and 'big spoon' him. She's asking him, while asking down to me, if he, or I, or both of us, want to go in the bathroom to have sex with her. "NO! I have a GIRLFRIEND!" he exclaims. As he yells this at this black, butt-ass-naked hooker who climbed in his bed with him, I hear the white hill-billy one chime in with "oh mah gawd, this motha{censored}a fallin' asleep. {censored}. Tshhh..."

 

Now, this whole experience lasted a few minutes. It was all a blurr. My penis was getting le-touched by a black hooker (OVER THE BLANKET), I have boobs in my face, and she's been shuffling around our room the whole time. I am SO confused. The last thing we hear the hookers say is "mann... {censored} you guys." As they're walking out the door. Friend #3 is passed out in the bed.

 

About 30 seconds after the hookers left, friend #4 walks in. We're all so {censored}ing confused that we just start laughing. I had no idea what had happened. My first thought during all this was "I can't believe friend #3 got TWO chicks..." until I realized that friend #3 couldn't get two chicks if he had $1M. The wheels are turning in my head and I'm realizing what in the hell just happened.

 

Then it hit me.

 

$300+ in cash and vouchers sitting right on top of my bag, underneath a couple of t-shirts. I trust these guys, I'm there with them, I wasn't worried about it.

 

I crawl over to my bag to notice it is all gone. Those {censored}ing hookers stole my money. I BOUGHT MY FRIEND A $300 BLOWIE THAT HE PASSED OUT FOR.

 

I was fuming. I was sooo mad. Friend #3, the hooker bringer, is concious at this point and listening to me verbally rape his ears with how mad I was about this being gone.

 

"What the {censored} where you thinking?" I asked him

"Maybe you should have hid it better."

 

That's when friend #2 and friend #4 immediately jumped to my side, held me back, and then told friend #3 he just needs to go to bed.

 

 

I went down at the pool and stared at space for about 8 hours straight, I think I blinked probably under 50 times. Luckily we were going home that day, but our flight wasn't for a while. When I returned to the room, it just reeked of hooker-{censored}. I took my things and showered in the pool bathroom shower.

 

 

 

 

This has since been paid back, and yes, we are friends again.

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holy {censored} I had no idea that was so long. Sorry dues.

 

TL;DR version:

 

Friend brought hookers to hotel room.

hookers are VERY persistent, they asked us like 50 times each if we would do stuff with them.

Even if you don't have money.

Hookers stole $300+ from me

I called my friend every name in the book.

 

 

 

hookers are gross.

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I won't say my black hooker story is better, but I still don't believe that it actually happened.




Myself and three buddies went to vegas one year and three days ago. It was one year and one day ago that this {censored} went down.


We stayed at the Hooters Hotel (why wouldn't we... so appropriate). Anyway, we'd been drinking for a few days just really rallyin' having a great time. I was loving my time, I had gambled and won for like the first time ever. Flight, hotel, even most of my booze paid for alreayd and was still up $300. No joke. (I'm not one of those "yeah, I was up about $2000, not bad for an hour" guys). That to me is a lot of money! Like I was super lucky!


Anyway, on 8/5/11, My friend and I are tired, so we retire to our rented quarters. We got a room with two queen beds, and were rotating between floor and bed. This night, I am laying on the floor stretching out and going to bed, my friend (and roommate) is sleeping in the bed. We were partied out, hungover and it was late so we went up to the room. Our other two friends stayed down at the craps table.


Fast forward about two hours. I'd been asleep for a little bit, I'm kind of drunk, friend asleep on the bed.


I am shaken awake to see a very large pair of black breasts, two feet from my face. "What the {censored}?" I question in semi excitement. My package is being rubbed and there are boobs in my face. I'm very happily confused.


"Do you want a blowjob?"

"Yeah... {censored} yeah. Yeah, hell yeah. I love those."

...

"wait a second..." I stopped myself. "No... haha. Who the hell are you? What are you doing here?"

"Honey, come on, let's go in there you want a blow job? Yo' fren' gettin' one o'er there. I'll give it cheap, he's payin' for it..."

"No. Actually, I don't, if you could just leave me alone please."

"Tsshhh.... whateva'"


I watch her stand up... then climb into the bed with my other friend. I also notice now, another hooker is going to town on my drunk friends dong, right there in the room. I am mortified! I have no idea what is going on. I watch the black hooker climb in bed and 'big spoon' him. She's asking him, while asking down to me, if he, or I, or both of us, want to go in the bathroom to have sex with her. "NO! I have a GIRLFRIEND!" he exclaims. As he yells this at this black, butt-ass-naked hooker who climbed in his bed with him, I hear the white hill-billy one chime in with "oh mah gawd, this motha{censored}a fallin' asleep. {censored}. Tshhh..."


Now, this whole experience lasted a few minutes. It was all a blurr. My penis was getting le-touched by a black hooker (OVER THE BLANKET), I have boobs in my face, and she's been shuffling around our room the whole time. I am SO confused. The last thing we hear the hookers say is "mann... {censored} you guys." As they're walking out the door. Friend #3 is passed out in the bed.


About 30 seconds after the hookers left, friend #4 walks in. We're all so {censored}ing confused that we just start laughing. I had no idea what had happened. My first thought during all this was "I can't believe friend #3 got TWO chicks..." until I realized that friend #3 couldn't get two chicks if he had $1M. The wheels are turning in my head and I'm realizing what in the hell just happened.


Then it hit me.


$300+ in cash and vouchers sitting right on top of my bag, underneath a couple of t-shirts. I trust these guys, I'm there with them, I wasn't worried about it.


I crawl over to my bag to notice it is all gone. Those {censored}ing hookers stole my money. I BOUGHT MY FRIEND A $300 BLOWIE THAT HE PASSED OUT FOR.


I was fuming. I was sooo mad. Friend #3, the hooker bringer, is concious at this point and listening to me verbally rape his ears with how mad I was about this being gone.


"What the {censored} where you thinking?" I asked him

"Maybe you should have hid it better."


That's when friend #2 and friend #4 immediately jumped to my side, held me back, and then told friend #3 he just needs to go to bed.



I went down at the pool and stared at space for about 8 hours straight, I think I blinked probably under 50 times. Luckily we were going home that day, but our flight wasn't for a while. When I returned to the room, it just reeked of hooker-{censored}. I took my things and showered in the pool bathroom shower.





This has since been paid back, and yes, we are friends again.

 

:lol::facepalm: Mine was a bon mot. Yours was an ordeal. Well done, sir!

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I've had a few weird things happen to me, considering everyone's different when it comes to "wierdest" LOL

 

1. I once had a chick WANT ME TO THROW UP ON HER. NO JOKE. I had met her in the chow hall at college and picked her up and we dated several times, she was normal as could be, then one night we went to the bar on campus and she got so {censored}ing wasted I LITEARLLY had to carry her out of there...on the way home, she was rambling on and on as I drove, then she said she wanted me to throw up on her. I thought I misunderstood, that she said she had to throw up cuz she was so {censored}ing wasted...but then she said it again, clear as day, adding "that would be hot". No joke.

 

2. This isn't so much weird itself as the coincidence of it is. Long story short back in the day I had a guy I grew up with who got mad into drugs and had mad connects, he had weight of pretty much everything out there at one point or another...there were several times he'd want me to go with him to a rave or a "festy" and help him sell stuff...I always politley declined, but then one day we were chilling getting high and he told me about a huge party that was gonna be happening in town, and wanted me to go with him to help him sell stuff. I finally gave in, and he proceeded to bag up several grams and 8balls of blow, several five strips and a vial of electric kool-aid, a bunch of 20 bags of k, a bunch of rolls, several grams and eeights of nugs, a few grams each of opium and hash...I ghonestly don't remember exactly how much of each and what he bagged up, but there we were the day of the party, all set to go. The most bizarre thing is that for some reason, we didn't go. It's not like something came up or we made a concious choice not to go, we just didn't. The weirdness comes in is that the next day in the paper there was an article on the front page, no joke, the place got raided, and over FORTY {censored}ing people got arrested...I just couldn't believe it, cuz I'm almost positive that had I been there (with all that stuff bagged up for sale) I would've been doing time, no question. Like I said it's just crazy cuz it was just pure luck that we didn't go.

 

{censored}, when I started typing I had so many moer, but now that I'm thinking about it I'm drawing a blank, I'll have to add more as I think of them....

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